I am allowing myself to draw without goal. I am not sure how best to explain this, but here comes a try. I fear non-discovery. I like looking for stuff. I also like practicing my knowledge. I like challenging my knowledge. However, my biggest thrill comes when I discover something I did not know. Here is the conflict: being gratified in exhibiting knowledge versus allowing myself to fall into a place where the unknown takes precedent. Yesterday's drawings allowed me to fall into that unknown space. I do not feel I completely "let go," because my knowledge dominated my activity. Too much of my knowing got dragged along; it limited my discovery. You know this isn't easy! It takes practice. The rewards in acting in this manner are important. I am in this game, in this life, to discover who I am and where I am. I believe much of undiscovered knowledge is buried within me, and there is a lot that "not-knowledge" which can be discovered through the natural action of open exploration. In any case, in this regard, yesterday's drawing #2 succeeded better than drawing #1. Perhaps my work will eventually end up illustrating that which my words are incapable of describing.
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