At last I can say that the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 is in its latter stages of completion. I was not sure of this until yesterday's revisions. In addition, my viewing the painting here, in reproduction, helps me see the truth. The reproduction reduces the 10 foot wide painting to about 6 inches wide on my computer screen. The composition is much easier to comprehend in this miniature version. So, all the recent revisions of the man on the left were in response to his not being an authentic version of himself. I did not know "the right version" I was looking for, but I certainly recognized when he wasn't right. Of course he, and the entire painting, are not finished. But yesterday's changes were definitive moves toward correctness.
Yesterday's drawing is another seated man in the many recent drawings of seated me. This one is more traditional than most. It was done after I painted on Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. My mind was in an uproar. I could not stop myself from working. This drawing came quickly, then I left the studio exhausted. The physical and mental demands in working to find an important solution to Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 require me to step away from the studio for a couple of days. My head is literally buzzing, which is always a good indication I have reached deeply into my nervous system and that I need to step away and let it calm itself. Yesterday marked 1 month since I began the triptych Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. In that month 15 changes occurred, 15 states were made. It is still not complete. It is not fully correct. The man in the left panel continues to be problematical. He looks like he is living in fear, and that is not right. His lean to the left is right. That lean animates, and aids, the compositional resolution of his panel, and the entire diptych. So the lean will stay, but he has got to change demeanor. Also, his feet are a bit too large. I believe all of him must be within the bounds of his canvas, so diminishing his feet, and his legs, is important. I am not sure these alterations will happen today. The last couple days in the studio were demanding. My energy feels a bit zapped out. However, I am in conflict. Despite my lack of true energy, I want to get this painting right. I do have ideas on how to resolve the current problems in Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. From experience, if I push myself, despite my lack of energy, I often miss the mark, so I hesitate to work on this painting today.
Yesterday's drawing was one more study of a sitting man. This came after my work on Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. I probably made the man in this drawing appear comfortable as reaction to the emotional demeanor of the man on the left in the painting. This is important information. The little man in the bottom right of Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 is surprisingly correct. His diminutive size and scale demand attention. That is the way it should be, given that a woman, larger in size and scale, elongatedly crosses the top of the same canvas he occupies. The surprises in Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 just keep on coming. I could write about the meaning of it all, but that would be wrong. The art I am making does not have explicit interpretation.
Yesterday's drawing began as a study for the small man in Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 and ended as a drawing that speaks for itself. The painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 took a turn toward "rightness" with yesterday's changes to the man in the left panel. However, looking at the entire diptych, the man in the right panel needs revision. His stature (or lack of it) is important to the meaning of the painting, both compositionally and emotionally. After the corrections to the man in the left panel, the head of the man in the right panel appears too large. The work demanded by this complex painting is incredibly absorbing and demanding. I am not tired yet. I am dedicated to finishing this painting properly. Somehow I know this painting is a turning point in the acquisition of the knowledge I require to express myself.
Yesterday's drawing is one more study for the man in the left panel of the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. Take it for what it is, but once again I have to tell you that the reproductions that appear here pale compared to the actual works. There is no way the subtle play of the pencil lines, and their value contrasts, can be reproduced properly. Even more difficult to reproduce is the complex color values and hues in a painting, especially one as large as Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. Don't worry, I will give you some lead time before these works are shown in exhibition. Yesterday's drawing exhibits remarkable skill in terms of the comprehension of light and form made with the simple black, white, and gray tool of a pencil line. I was surprised and elated. The changes in the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 are mysterious to me and bring up as many questions as answers. I need to think about my multiple art-making objectives.
It is so absolutely clear when I am tired. I go to the standard drawing of a couple and the distortions in the drawing are not quite right! That will not happen today. I got to bed on time last night and I got a good night sleep. Today I will take one more stab at the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 in an effort to make that man in the left panel work right.
Today's title refers mostly to the man on the left in the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014, however, it is also true, that today's reproduction of this painting is poor (as example, look at the disparity between the colors of the top triangles on the left and right panels—they came out of same tube of paint!). In any case, this painting is feeling closer to completion because of yesterday's work. I only spent moments on the head of the man on the left. His head needs some serious attention. After that it will be time for refinements.
In person yesterday's drawing is subtly beautiful. The grays of the pencil delicately create form and light. This is missing in its reproduction. Even though this is not a drawing that challenges comprehension, it does sing with recognition. It is a study for the man on the left in the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. I very much wanted to get past this step of a study drawing and into the painting, but I also wanted to plant three trees on my property. It is springtime, and it was a beautiful day. I find trees as subtly beautiful as fine drawings. So I labored in the fields and gave up working on the painting. But today I will not. Yesterday's drawing is very useful as preparation for the next step on the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. Today I will make the effort to observe that painting as whole by moving away from it across the bounds of the entire studio. After comprehending its entirety I will try to make it right. If I succeed it will enter its final stage, that of clean-up, which has never been as engaging to me as the structural problem-solving I so dearly enjoy.
Yesterday, upon leaving the studio, I thought I had had a good day. Now I am not so sure. The reproductions of yesterday's works show a drawing that looks stilted and a painting that needs revisions. Yes, the drawing has three panels, but it definitely does not work well. I have to reconsider my objectives in playing one panel against the others. The changes to Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 point to problems with the man on the left. His right arm is better, but his head, legs, and left arm need rethinking. I wish I could go back into Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 today, but today is my "All Things Practical Day" and alterations will have to wait until tomorrow.
I never know for sure why I am driven to solve a particular problem. All I know is I get obsessed. I relentlessly ask "How can I make this work?" This is where I am with the multi-panel problem, and, of course, with many other problems layered within my quest for full and complete self-expression. So, I present today the diptych drawing made yesterday. My dissatisfaction with this drawing is not with the man's weird nose, but with the entire drawing's lack of complete expression. I realized it needs a third panel to feel complete. I saw this by shrinking its reproduction on my computer screen. There are two reasons this double panel drawing requires a third panel: (1) I tried to make a sound composition by leaning the girl outward in the right panel, thus juxtaposing her lanky body to the heavy vertical form of the man's head and shoulders in the left panel. But that leaning out just begs for more information, both visually and emotionally. (2) The temporally expressive data I am trying to solicit is wanting. More information is needed.
That said, yesterday's drawing is good enough. As is, it is acceptably expressive. No third panel will be added to yesterday's drawing. I will start from scratch today. If I were to go back into yesterday's drawing I would create another man's head in a third panel on the right. In the new right panel a second man's head would stand as strongly as the man's head in the left panel. The two male heads would represent the same man in different times and thoughts. Oh well, not gonna happen in yesterday's drawing! |
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March 2024
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