"Gonna Speak to the Crowd" (2021 No.5, state 7), oil on canvas, 62¾x57⅜ inches, {"I'm gonna spare the defeated — I'm gonna speak to the crowd. I'm gonna spare the defeated, boys, I'm going to speak to the crowd. I am goin' to teach peace to the conquered. I'm gonna tame the proud." - Bob Dylan, "Lonesome Day Blues" (2001)} Very early this morning I was in the studio. This painting, "Gonna Speak to the Crowd", had to change. What is that weird, playful form on its lower left?" It is a distraction, albeit interesting to look at. This painting's core composition is solid. Why distract from its core mission? As of this writing much of the periphery of this painting has been destroyed, replaced with simplicity. This is my effort to find core value. That is singular "value." Over the last few weeks my mission has been clear. It is personal impetus seeking singular center. "Finding center" is both figurative and literal. I am on a mission to find myself through my work. I want to make it visual. I understand vision better than storms in my brain.
"Honorable Terms" (2021 No.7, state 1), oil on canvas, 52x56¾ inches, {"The roots of reason are imbedded in feelings — feelings that have formed and accumulated and developed over a lifetime of personality-shaping. These feelings are not a source of weakness but a resource of strength. They are not there for occasional using but are inescapable. To know what we think, we must know how we feel. It is feeling that shapes belief and forms opinion. It is feeling that directs the strategy of argument. It is our feelings, then, with which we must come to honorable terms." - James E. Miller, Jr., "Word, Self, Reality: The Rhetoric of Imagination" (1972)} There are many reasons people choose to make art. This new painting uses a quote from James E. Miller Jr. (1920–2010) to explain the reason I make art. One of Miller's ideas is quoted in the title of my new painting, "Honorable Terms" (2021 No.7). This idea fits me perfectly. I believe that "...feelings are not a source of weakness but a resource of strength. They are not there for occasional using but are inescapable. To know what we think, we must know how we feel. It is feeling that shapes belief and forms opinion. It is feeling that directs the strategy of argument. It is our feelings, then, with which we must come to honorable terms." Jame E. Miller, Jr. and I are simpatico in our fondness for certain figures in American Literature. Miller loved, enjoyed, and revered Walt Whitman and T.S. Eliot. I continue to read the same people Miller astutely critiqued. James E. Miller Jr. (1920–2010) James E. Miller was an American scholar and the Helen A. Regenstein Professor Emeritus of English Language and Literature at the University of Chicago, where he completed his graduate work, taught, and served as chairman of the English department. Miller specialized in American literature, he has published over twenty books and various articles on authors such as T. S. Eliot, Herman Melville, and Walt Whitman. His books include T. S. Eliot’s Personal Wasteland: Exorcism of the Demons, T. S. Eliot: The Making of an American Poet, The American Quest for a Supreme Fiction: Whitman’s Legacy in the Personal Epic, Leaves of Grass: America’s Lyric-Epic of Self and Democracy, F. Scott Fitzgerald: His Art and His Technique, Theory of Fiction: Henry James, and Quests Surd and Absurd: Essays in American Literature. He also has edited the anthology Heritage of American Literature, a Critical Guide to Leaves of Grass, and a Reader’s Guide to Herman Melville. His work on Eliot considers personal correspondence and the accounts of friends as well as an in-depth reading of Eliot’s early work up to and including The Waste Land. Miller also contends that though Eliot lived in England much of his life, he remained quintessentially an American writer. Miller's early work on J. D. Salinger was among the first work of its kind to be published. Throughout his career, Miller traveled and taught extensively in Japan, Australia, France, Italy, and elsewhere. "Gonna Speak to the Crowd" (2021 No.5, state 6), oil on canvas, 62¾x57⅜ inches, {"I'm gonna spare the defeated — I'm gonna speak to the crowd. I'm gonna spare the defeated, boys, I'm going to speak to the crowd. I am goin' to teach peace to the conquered. I'm gonna tame the proud." - Bob Dylan, "Lonesome Day Blues" (2001)} I am marching, step by step, trying to keep in proper step with myself. Yesterday's work done on the painting "Gonna Speak to the Crowd", is an example. This is me seeking good footing, seeking security with each step I take. Is each step perfect, correct, secure? No, not at all; each step does seek security, correctness. I step and listen; there it is, my personal response: good, bad, right, wrong, or questionable. If questionable, I have but one option; I must step again in that direction. I must further explore the deed just done.
"Gonna Speak to the Crowd" (2021 No.5, state 5), oil on canvas, 62¾x57⅜ inches, {"I'm gonna spare the defeated — I'm gonna speak to the crowd. I'm gonna spare the defeated, boys, I'm going to speak to the crowd. I am goin' to teach peace to the conquered. I'm gonna tame the proud." - Bob Dylan, "Lonesome Day Blues" (2001)} My knowing is coming more quickly. I am in a period of resurgent self-confidence. The consequence of this belief in my talent and my skill is speedy problem solving. I have occasionally gone through this in the past, just to abandon my current way. I moved on. I changed subject matter and approach. Did I do this out of boredom? Not sure. Perhaps it was my way of moving through Art History. Perhaps I was working toward making my self-history my subject matter. I have been working on a Catalogue Raisonné (see it here on my website: Catalogue Raisonné). Presently my Catalogue Raisonné contains images thru 1999. The Catalogue Raisonné is under construction; more images will be added until it reaches images from the present day. Take a look at one of my paintings from 1997 (below). My point in showing this image is this: I have moved on. Also, I do not believe I will be moving on again any time soon. The stuff I am doing now is me, not me in search. This type of drawing comes from anxiety. Yesterday nothing seemed right. Mail I sent two days ago got lost in transit (found this morning in Stamford CT, despite it being addressed to Tunbridge VT, just across the river from me). Yesterday afternoon I went to dispose of my trash at our local dump. I returned; I felt something crawling on my neck. I grabbed it in my hand. It was a tick! Where the hell did that come from? I am always careful; I don't even walk on grass! Ticks around here carry scary diseases. Yesterday's drawing is a dark, marvelous drawing. I believe Mark Rothko would have liked it. I could not find a place to sign it on the image side of this drawing; I signed on the back. Years ago I perused a book, "The Zen of Seeing." It was published in 1973. Here I am. I believe in nature. Yesterday's drawing is contemplative. Perhaps a practitioner of Zen would appreciate its origins, would appreciate the manner in which this drawing came to be. During its making I kept staring at it, wondering if the darker forms in the bottom half were too robust to support the lack of form in the top half. This was, initially, a compositional question. It became a meditative question. It led to a meditative answer. Is this Zen at work? I actually ended the drawing by drawing more lines, darker lines, into the central box-like form. That box became the central theme. This meditative decision dealt with the wholeness of the drawing, the whiteness of the ground simultaneously with the darkness of the forms. Nature took over. Attention to the existing forms had to be rarified. Demands were met. Here is the result. Was this an experience of Zen?
I always think it is going to get easier. I keep thinking more knowledge will have this great benefit; that is, my pathway to finished works will become quicker, more efficient. Turns out this is not so. This drawing took me two days and many, many revisions. It is a good one, but to get here I used every resource at my disposal, all my knowledge and all my knowing. To me, this drawing represents a promise. I can do it. I am capable of finding pathways to substantial of works of art. With each work of art I just have to accept the work that is necessary to get to the substance.
Making art will never get easier. It will continually become more energy intensive. In other words, the more I know the more I understand the complexity required to obtain a great solution. "Fool's Cap Too Long" (2021 No.6, state 3), oil on canvas, 63x57¾ inches, {"We swim, day by day, on a river of delusions.... But life is a sincerity. In lucid intervals we say, 'Let there be an entrance for me into realities, I have worn the fool's cap too long.'" - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), "Use of Great Men," from the collection of essays, "Representative Men" (1850)} Freedom ain't free, you know. Knowledge ain't unencumbered, you know. Finding one's significant other ain't easy, you know. This painting is a step in the right direction.
"Fool's Cap Too Long" (2021 No.6, state 2), oil on canvas, 63x57¾ inches, {"We swim, day by day, on a river of delusions.... But life is a sincerity. In lucid intervals we say, 'Let there be an entrance for me into realities, I have worn the fool's cap too long.'" - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), "Use of Great Men," from the collection of essays, "Representative Men" (1850)} This is going to end well. Getting there is the mystery that is defeating self-foolery. My dilemmas are many. I am going to kick the out, one at a time, perhaps several per day. Follow me and you shall see.
"Fool's Cap Too Long" (2021 No.6, state 1), oil on canvas, 63x57¾ inches, {"We swim, day by day, on a river of delusions.... But life is a sincerity. In lucid intervals we say, 'Let there be an entrance for me into realities, I have worn the fool's cap too long.'" - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), "Use of Great Men," from the collection of essays, "Representative Men" (1850)} I am working hard to find my realities. Here comes the painting, "Fool's Cap Too Long." Also, yesterday's drawing strives to find bottom-line reality, exhibited visually without falderal, without annoyance. Do these work perfectly well to illustrate my reality? Not yet. More work coming...
|
To read my profile go to MEHRBACH.com.
At MEHRBACH.com you may view many of my paintings and drawings, past and present, and see details about my life and work. Archives
March 2024
|