Recently, my drawings are taking two days of thought to complete. The second drawing here is no exception. This drawing from 9/25/2020 is a step toward simplicity, yet it is too simple for me to accept. Today I will go back into it. That said, look at Drawing 09·24·2020 in its state 2; it is crazy complex. Why is it difficult for me to illustrate my simple, personal identity? Am I as complex as my drawings indicate? The problem is viewer engagement. I do not wish to be obtuse, but I believe I am. My job is to get down to the basic me; I want to be naked in front of myself, naked in front of my viewers. At this point I continue to hide behind a patterned curtain so thick as to hide me from easy view. Yeah, I am behind the curtain. Am I pretending, as the Wizard of Oz pretended to be someone he is not? I know I am failing to do the one think I want to do so badly. I want to reveal myself in order to communicate honestly and purely. Guise and guile are irritating and distracting. I must stop myself!
Fascinating it is, that the struggle of my life is not a struggle for understanding and skill, but for simple and clear. It ain't easy for me to accept simplicity. Simplicity, it seems, is far more difficult to render well than complex and overwhelming. Paring down to essentials is hard work; much harder than letting loose with a spill of ideas. Ideas come easy; sorting out the relevant comes hard.
I am obviously moving toward more simple images, albeit complex in actuality. I question the ability of a fully complex image to fully engage the viewer. Today I show one answer to this question. However, the caveat is this, as with Mark Rothko, and Ellsworth Kelly, I believe initial simplicity has the ability to be extremely complex. Yesterday I showed you an excellent Mark Rothko painting; it contains just two floating rectangles; Simple? Not at all! Today I show you a painting by Ellsworth Kelly, black with a floating, flat white form; Simple? Not at all! I could live with either the Rothko or the Kelly painting for a very long time; both would endlessly speak volumes to me. I failed yesterday if simplicity be my goal. It is not! I want the intellectual and emotional satisfaction of complex images and the direct and immediate engagement of simplicity. Ellsworth Kelly achieved great visual impact using simple images. Kelly's work satisfies emotionally and intellectually. His is a great achievement. As much as I envy Kelly's direct route to completely fulfilling art, I am not Ellsworth Kelly; I am myself. My path continues to be discovered, step by currently unknown next step. Yesterday's drawing was such a step. It taught me; I reflect upon it. I want the negative space in my art to be as effective as Ellsworth Kelly was able to achieve in his art. I have been making a strong effort to think simple. I am well aware an obvious relationship between negative and positive space must be the capturing effect that is the ultimate driving force of the first glance. The first glance should capture viewers, rein them in. As complex as yesterday's drawing became, it is simple in its composition. I hope you see that. There is dark on the left, bright on the right, strong vertical movements play against strong forms on the left and the right. This is a masterful drawing. I felt mastery in my process.
"How's It Gonna End" (2019 No.2, state 13), oil on canvas, 60x33 inches {"Life is sweet at the edge of a razor; And down in the front row of an old picture show the old man is asleep as the credits start to roll. And I want to know, the same thing everyone wants to know, how's it going to end?" -Tom Waits} The painting, "How's It Gonna End" (2019 No.2), is in state 13; now I know, it is gonna end. My drawings, however, tell a different story. This journey of mine, as long as I draw breathe, is NOT gonna end. I have become fascinated with the space between objects. I have always taken negative space into account, but my newest drawings exhibit an increased awareness of the potency that is blank space. For quite some time I have been worrying about congestion within my drawings — in yesterday's drawings I tackle this problem head-on. Interesting, I was on Instagram; There was a reproduction of a painting by Jean-Michel Basquiat. This work by Basquiat hit me hard. Immediately I recognized the power he gave the open areas in his canvas, areas between complex forms. I show you one of Basquiat's works. This is not the painting I saw that inspired me, but it does go right to my point. My methodology is more multi-think than Doublethink. This concerns me. I worry I see in a complicated and complex manner. I worry this makes it difficult to communicate through my art. Am I allowing myself to solve the needs of an image by multitasking the image? Instead, should I be simplifying my images toward their basic instincts? When I began the new painting, "Doublethink", I had ambition; I wanted restrict it to two contradictory and contrasting forms. Obviously this did not happen in state 1. You can see "Doublethink" as two contrasting areas; the left playing with rectangular in/out rotational vigor, the right with rounded up/down spinning-top-like verticality. I am not sure I will work on "Doublethink" again today. I need its complexity to percolate within/without me. There is a very complex drawing on my drawing board right now. It waits for me to solve it, to finish it off. I began this drawing with thoughts similar to those I began "Doublethink". My thoughts were similar in their simplicity-seeking. The drawing ran away toward a self-imposed complex solution. It feels self-imposed by the drawing, but of course it is me. It is me who is self-trained to see this way. This morning, in my effort to question my complexity, I purchased a sketch book. I hope it will help me resolve my issues with myself. I will use the sketch book to experiment with different ways to tackle by complex-seeing personality. I believe I am in need of simplification. I could be wrong.
"Burnt Norton" (2018 No.8, state 15), oil on canvas, 63x66 inches {"What might have been is an abstraction; Remaining a perpetual possibility; Only in a world of speculation. What might have been and what has been point to one end, which is always present. Footfalls echo in the memory." -T.S. Eliot, "Burnt Norton"} Sometimes T.S. Eliot could be a bit long-winded. Perhaps his Burnt Norton and mine share long-windedness. My Burnt Norton is almost complete. I need to give it a few minor changes, enhancements, alterations — all to bring it to conclusion. Strange it is; This finishing off a painting feels sad. Burnt Norton has taken me, slow step by slow step, through multiple movements; each toward summation. Its journey was often cumbersome, sometimes difficult, always interesting. This is wide-awake living at its best!
This drawing is a good one. It questions complexity; How far I can go and still have your detailed attention? I question my own reflection. Process is finding truth by doing, making, questioning over and over again. It seems to me answers are found between the questions. Answers are not found while the questions are being asked. It is during the mulling that one finds what is true and what continues to be questionable.
I worry about everything. Am I seeking a Goldilocks solution? I do not think so. I go back and forth from too much to too little. Do I ever get it just right? People ask "What is the Goldilocks syndrome?" Google answers, "In cognitive science and developmental psychology, the Goldilocks effect or principle refers to an infant's preference to attend to events which are neither too simple nor too complex according to their current representation of the world. ... Such a planet is colloquially called a "Goldilocks Planet".
Yesterday's drawing is very complex. I think it works well. It is a compromise. There is a bold diagonal which establishes space in front of an abundance of forms. The diagonal frontal form allows the background forms to play with emotional abandon. This allows my dilemma, concerning too much, too little, or just right, to occur and to be jubilantly unresolved. Glory glory is art making! |
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April 2024
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