Symbolic, noteworthy, looks like something I have seen before; this is what I am doing. I am going there, doing it, referring to memory past and present, stuff that visually reminds me. These two drawings are examples of my quest for known and knowing.
I am a wondering, wandering man. Now what? My recent painting, ”Castle", will soon be in exhibition. Exhibition marks success of artistic communication. Why "Castle"? I make a lot of art, I make a lot of paintings and drawings. People choose to exhibit art they enjoy. Enjoyment denotes relevance. I continue to process during, and after, exhibitions. Constantly I work to come to peace with my natural instincts. Informative is the art people choose to exhibit. Choice by others is an expression of value in an artwork's communication. Yesterday's drawing (shown here) is my reaction to the positive quality expressed by the choice of “Castle” as exhibition worthy. In this drawing I am reacting by wondering. All my art is both question and answer.
I believe I must give into my authentic impulses. As I make, if I recognize a bit of representation, I am animated. I think, "This is real! This is a base looking for a play.” This bit of representation gives me an anchor. It gives me a scene that feels true to touch and life. Looking back at my recent output, I believe my best works contain this token of visual reality. That means something! In the least, I have to explore this grab for bits of representation. In the first drawing shown today, the one from 5/21/2022, I exhibit this most clearly. In fact, if you go back to my blog post of 5/22/2022, in that same drawing you will see the human head more abstractly. State 1 of this drawing did not work as well for me as State 2; yesterday’s change startles me. This drawing feels vastly more true; it is much better because of a minor change toward a more recognizable form.
Yep! Closer! I am not satisfied. Today’s image of “Arena” represents a step in my journey, a depiction that works better than its last. Better means declarative movement toward complete, flawless correct. Better is movement toward an impossible goal.
I will never be done. I like the painting, "Arena", but I am disquieted by it as well. This unease drives my anxiousness. I cannot get all my ideas into one painting, nor can I ever say, "This completely makes sense to me!" Everything I do is a test. After each test I know better; that does not mean I am closer to a completely true answer. Every answer in incomplete. I will continue on my investigative journey, a quest without an end.
Today's work is better than yesterday's poor answer. There is life here. Life is full of questions, I make art because I try to provide answers. Each work of Art is one possible answer. Nothing more.
This is test. Did this drawing do what I want I want my drawings to do? I don't know. This drawing is sparse and complex; it exhibits limits in space and time. This drawing does not work as well as I wish. Still, testing is important, always interesting. Limitations are identified through Art-Making.
Am I becoming true to myself? I think so. Seems I live in a world between representational reality and extracted, abstracted images. This drawing exhibits personal acceptance resulting in making sense to myself
Finding oneself does take revisiting instincts, personal instincts discovered when young. It is easy to see self-truth when young. Youth has the distinct advantage of lacking the enormous distractions of educational and experiential learning. For me, the painting, and the drawings, I show today are satellite revisits. They exhibit me in orbit around myself. I am hoping this is me experiencing a problem solving loop, spiraling, falling out of orbit, toward true, trustful answers.
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