I am no longer able to behave badly. Even when I try to risk everything I end up with stuff like this. Organization and clarity have been beaten deep within me; I cannot resist moving toward solutions that call out with a spirit of self-realization. Here it is, yesterday's drawing. I intended to make a quick study, then move on to finishing the painting "Sentence" (2019 No.4). Instead I got locked here, into the force of my own creation. Drawing has become a mindful and mediative experience, dictated by depths that must be intellectual, but are nowhere near out-loud knowing. These come as forces of nature; they become themselves by themselves. I just show up to move the pencil on the paper.
I believe this will occur in my painting as well, but I am not there yet.
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