 Drawing 02·15·2020 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 02·15·2020 No.2, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches Making art, going from nothing to something, from a blank, white piece of paper, to one filled with graphite and pencil marks, is an act in quest of the worthwhile. Do these drawings have merit? What is merit?
There are many ways to be self-involved, to be self-revelatory. My art is a means for me. It is not the only means; as example, human relationships also lend feedback. My drawings have become lucid notes, each marking a step in my journey toward self-understanding. No two are the same because each is made as a question and each is solved as one possible solution.
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 "Inertia to Movement" (2019 No.6, state 4), oil on canvas, 66.25x65 inches {"Emotion is the moment when steel meets flint and a spark is struck forth, for emotion is the chief source of consciousness. There is no change from darkness to light, or from inertia to movement, without emotion." -Carl G. Jung (1875-1961), "The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious", 1955, translation R.F.C Hull} It is work to be open to surprise. The painting, "Inertia to Movement", is coming at me in a very different way than any painting I have worked on before. It looks different. Its process is different. It is an excellent surprise, one that feels right and good.
Yesterday "Inertia to Movement" underwent vertical expansion, as well as additional application of paint.  "Something Else Entirely" (2019 No.4, state 22), oil on canvas, 38.5x62.5 inches {"And you’d spend years trying to decipher the sentence, until finally you’d understand it. But after a while you’d realize you got it wrong, and the sentence meant something else entirely." - Tadeusz Dąbrowski, from the poem "Sentence"} I wish this was easier. Being patient is painful. Waiting for revelation and realization distracts and annoys. I am required to bear it. Being mortal, having a limited time to get it done, worries me. This is constant. Revelation is also constant. The requisite activity is showing up, being awake and aware, reacting to truth and failure until satisfaction and fulfillment are achieved.
Yesterday's revelation is state 22 of "Something Else Entirely" (2019 No.4). It took a jump toward fulfillment by becoming atmospherically consistent. It is now close to completion. In fact, looking at it here, in reproduction, makes me feel warm with success. State 22 of "Something Else Entirely" is something else entirely from state 21. It has started making sense.  Drawing 0211·2020, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches The drawing I post today exhibits an intellectual and emotional jump. Here are kinetics, here are all kinds of space, from three dimensional and two dimensional space to negative and positive space. This drawing encounters every sort of space a viewer can perceive.
 Drawing 02·09·2020, graphite on paper, 20x16 inches  "Something Else Entirely" (2019 No.4, state 21), oil on canvas, 38.5x62.5 inches {"And you’d spend years trying to decipher the sentence, until finally you’d understand it. But after a while you’d realize you got it wrong, and the sentence meant something else entirely." - Tadeusz Dąbrowski, from the poem "Sentence"} I do not know what I do not know. There are all kinds of ways to create depth and internal energy on a flat surface. I am working toward that, but look (below) at this painting by Julie Mehretu! Mehretu condenses and releases form. Her work is a revelation to me. In my drawing, the one I show today, I play this way too. However, the depth in Mehretu's "Stadia II" is far greater than that which I create is either of my works shown in this post. In "Stadia II" Mehretu creates depth by use of perspective lines at the bottom of the canvas, and smaller forms at the top. Depth is forced in other ways too. The clogging of darker forms at the top forces the eye to think hanging banners (like in a basketball stadium); the eye passes underneath those banners, back to the gray forms that reside (artificially) behind them. This is an exciting, masterful vision; one that creates a robust vision of three-dimensions on a two dimensional surface. To see Mehretu's mid-career Retrospective, visit the Whitney Museum of American Art (June 26 — September 20) or the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (now through May 17).  Julie Mehretu, "Stadia II", 2004, ink and acrylic on canvas, 9x12 feet  Drawing 02·06·2020, graphite on paper, 16x20 inches Yesterday's drawing surprised me. That drawing did not surprise me as much as our world gone bazzarro. Yesterday a large crowd of well educated, relatively intelligent folks, sat in a room applauding a bully-full of denigrating and dishonest comments. The comments were aimed at good folks, aimed at people calling a spade a spade. By spade I mean a tool with a sharp-edged, typically rectangular, metal blade and a long handle, used for digging or cutting earth, sand, turf, etc. (the dictionary definition). I digress; back to the importance of making art: I do not particularly like yesterday's drawing. Yesterday brought two things I do not particularly like, both need to be revisited with honesty in the forefront. My part is this: I must hunker down into my emotions. The drawing seen here is a technical marvel, but it does not engage emotionally. That is my failure. I need to go back, allow my emotional juices to flow onto the page. Moving a form here, a bit of light there, darkness over here, is not good enough! I am obligated to spill the beans of my tumult in real time.
 "Something Else Entirely" (2019 No.4, state 20), oil on canvas, 38.5x62.5 inches {"And you’d spend years trying to decipher the sentence, until finally you’d understand it. But after a while you’d realize you got it wrong, and the sentence meant something else entirely." - Tadeusz Dąbrowski, from the poem "Sentence"}  Drawing 02·04·2020, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches The effort to make grand continues. Just as weather produces days of sunshine and days of precipitation, so does my art produce. Richness and fullness are being found. My heavens are opening in sunshine bringing clarity. My work is going well. My behavior is changing. I am not forcing this to happen. It rolls in like weather. There are forces at work, highs and lows, snow and sun; I keep showing up, looking for melting so I may walk without slipping. The path is there. The snow clears, a naked path is revealed. Working in patience is the key.
 Drawing 02·01·2020, graphite on paper, 16x20 inches I am trying to be straightforwardly honest in this Age of Denial. Denying has become an art form. Materially, Art is Real, but it speaks a language that is a step away from the reality it depicts. I am experiencing reality as I make art: I feel, I live, I experience; thus my Art is a depiction of reality; it is born in realness.
Yesterday's drawing was born out of my need to be "in your face," to be straightforward. I wished to depict space of little depth, keeping the artifice of a third-dimension to a minimum. I began with a question. This drawing is one answer. The other idea was one of robust contrast: more angular objects on the left are in contrast to more curvaceous ones on the right. (Of course, there is light versus dark too!)  Drawing 01·30·2020, graphite on paper, 16x20 inches My art-making has become extremely contemplative and extremely curious. It is decision-making as most important: big versus small, open versus closed, me versus the rest of mankind. In writing that last sentence I am admitting to my gigantic quandary: What is my personal relevance? Communication between you and I happens in all sorts of ways. I am involved in art-making as multi-layer communication between you and I.
I had an intensive dream last night; it is relevant to my quandary. In my dream I became a teacher of Art. I have done that before. I never felt I was a successful Art Teacher. I was unable, or not allowed, to tell my deepest ideas. I never taught art-making as quest for personal authenticity. Instead I taught Art-Making as quest for superior technique and the understanding of the principles and the elements of art and design. I believe my dream is the beginning of a new teaching career. I wrote down my ideas, as Course Curriculum, this morning. This could be the beginning of something great! |
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February 2020
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