Alternate Title: Eight was Enough
Yesterday resulted in a burst of drawings. I was researching possible directions. The outcome is my realization that the possibilities are endless, and they are all valid. This is me questioning a means to self-expression. This is me realizing there are no limits. This is me realizing each work of art can be categorized as "good," or "not so good," to its depth of authentic expression.
Yesterday's drawings are shown in Gallery Format. Click on an image to enlarge it. The images are not titled under their reproductions, but all can be referenced as "Untitled Drawing-01·10·2015", #1 through #9 with the exception that #5 is missing (I miscounted, there never was a #5). The media of the drawings is pencil on paper, each drawing is 11X14 inches in dimension.
Finally, yesterday's work spells the beginning of me "just doing it." The necessary skills have been in place for a long time. It is the approach that has now changed. It has changed because of my acceptance that each work I make will be successful, or not so successful. I also accept that the moment of creation is its own validity. Each work is part of the process. Each is a piece of research. None are failures. Each work of art, when introspectively examined, will move me toward greater cognizance of who I am, and how I may best express myself through my art.
With every change that occurs, in the myriad of changes to the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014, this painting gets better, richer, more expressive. It is scary. I want to finish it off, but with each change I see more deeply. This leads to another change. There will come a time when a change will do little to enhance the painting, but yesterday's alterations to the man in the bottom right corner were definitely important. The compositional structure of this diptych is more full of motion and contrast. At this point I feel a quivering in my stomach when I approach art-making. It is so dauntingly amazing that I have actually learned to make expressive art of this magnitude. It is scary because I can see and feel this painting calling for its next alteration and I face the question of competency every time I work on it. I keep asking, "Do I have the ability to finish it off properly?" Well, that's the reason for all the work and practice I have done. This is a period in my life when my competency is in the midst of my accepting it. I must accept my powers in order to move on to making the substantial and authentic works of art I must make. The painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 is a turning point.
Yesterday's drawing was important too.
Yesterday's drawing exhibits remarkable skill in terms of the comprehension of light and form made with the simple black, white, and gray tool of a pencil line. I was surprised and elated. The changes in the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 are mysterious to me and bring up as many questions as answers. I need to think about my multiple art-making objectives.
Not abnormal enough! My quest for more expressive and engaging art is taking over. I should say, "At last!" What have I been doing all these years? Answer: I have been gathering knowledge, intuition, and skill.
Today I will try again. I am certainly not there yet. I am tired of complaining. I am not there because I know I will never be there! I am here! That is why I must not complain about the years I have spent in search. Always I have been here! Knowing is not a sudden reality. It does bite one's mental ass. It pokes the brain with small bits of new knowledge. It does not slap the knowing into an instant wake-up call. This brings me back to today. I anticipate no more than more of the same. Not more of the same in images produced, but more of the same in process experienced.
A note about the reproduction of the drawing reproduced today: The reproduction of the left head is not as crisp as the reproduction of the right head. This is not due to focus problems, but to lighting problems. Pencil marks produce a subtle sheen on a paper's surface. In this case the light which reflected off the pencil marks of the left head dulled the contrast of the pencil marks relative to one another and relative to the white surface of the paper. Consequently, in this reproduction, the left head does not sing as forcefully as the right head. This diminishes the impact of the overall image reproduced here when compared to the actual drawing. The remedy to this problem of inferior reproduction is better placement of lights and better use of a polarizing filter.
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