I feel good. I am going somewhere true. Will that place be one of total success? No way! I go a direction, but every direction has its imperfections. I do that which I must. Yesterday's work, show here (as always), speaks volumes. The volumes it speaks is not only in form and depth (Art Principle stuff), but it exhibits my work not as an ethic, but as a desire to be felicitously moving along.
My life is changing. I am rejecting assiduous, go-at-it-even-if-I-am-tired, relentless push, push. I am accepting do-it-till-I-am-used-up-for-the-day. "Used-up" means acknowledging “when” there is little joy, and also knowing “when” there is little creative insight left in me to give my work. These drawings, and the painting I showed you yesterday ("Ghost Town"), are products of my acknowledging that "when." I am happier. My work is better.
By separation I mean I am allowing myself to dissolve my attachment to all things that came before. I am here, I am now, I am committed to enjoy playing in this space and time. Thus comes this newest painting, "Ghost Town". I just realized, the title of this painting makes sense given my launch away from my past. I am trying to leave my ghosts behind. I am trying to allow myself to make stuff now based upon now.
Today my blog-space words are replaced by practice. I'm at a loss for words. My knowledge has obtained a non-verbal place. It resides there. Whatever I write pales aside the actual works of art.
Full of dust and doubt I walked into the studio. I wanted to escape. I nearly fell asleep. I did sleep... for a little. I awoke, realized I wanted playfulness. I needed to playfully place pencil to paper, wander in openness, allow myself to step back, watch, respond to marks, make more marks. I like these drawings. They are more me. Hallelujah!
I am home. Home is where the heart is. My heart is in my art. This drawing, my recent paintings, are me. I am a fish in the water of my birth. Like a Salmon, I have come home to procreate.
This is about revelation because I am painting. "Crevice" is in motion. It is alive and well. It is on it own path. Where is it? What is it? It is time within time. It is becoming because it is being here. Time is fluid. Art is fluid. Without fluidity this painting and I are fastened, pinned to bewilderment.
It is happening... sticking in there, doing 10,000+++ hours pays off. I am finding the ground on which I live. This drawing is a good one.
Thus it begins. I have accepted an idea true to me. This is about symbolic representation as important to energizing my deepest self. I accept it, my images may mystify some viewers, but no matter how perplexing, puzzling, convoluted, mystifying, and unaccountable it may look to some, this is core me. I must do it. The new painting, "Crevice", is such consequential image.
The trend appearing in my work is me grabbing onto meaningful forms residing in meaningful space. I go into into that invented place in order to find meaning and personal truth. This makes sense to my deeper self. It is me recognizing my personal, idiosyncratic wholeness. Yesterday's drawing is a step toward acceptance. In this drawing I see truth in forms and truth in their spatial residence; these entities, and their space and place, reflect personal recognition of reality.
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