Category: Reality

Being Real Seems Strange

7/5/2022

"Arena" (2022 No.6, state 9), oil on canvas, 41¼x58½ inches

The price of accepting normality is abnormal appearance. My Art looks strange. This is who I am. Like a snake, the process of growth has caused me to shed skin. The painting, "Arena", has lost much of it previous surface; its skin has been replaced during another step toward my reality.

Different, or My Reality?

5/17/2022

Drawing 05·15·2022, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Am I becoming true to myself? I think so. Seems I live in a world between representational reality and extracted, abstracted images. This drawing exhibits personal acceptance resulting in making sense to myself

Centering thru Process

5/8/2022

"Pillar" (2022 No.5, state 01), oil on canvas, 45¼ x 46½

Here I go! I am challenging my process. I have made this painting, “Pillar." I have made it during one studio day. This is me accepting the easy way. I am accepting me. I am clear and simple, not the person burdened by education, today's norms, or those of the recent past. I am here, I am now. I accept.

Breakout/Break-in

5/5/2022

"Castle" (2022 No.3, state 12), oil on canvas, 60x58 inches

It ain't what it used to be, nor me. Uphill has now become Castle. This change is meaningful because it is big step toward real; there is no fake here. I changed. This painting changed. Reality is good. I am fully committed to truth telling. “Castle” is the real thing.

Deeper and Truer

3/9/2022

Drawing 03·08·2022, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

There is only one true way; it is hunker down, accept, let-go, realize the real. Real is not easily seen, or easily understood. Real is known. Knowing is not an in-your-face, bold, there it is, kind of thing. Search truthfully, and you shall find. Truth itself is deceptive, yet obvious when encountered with an open mind and open heart. This drawing, from yesterday, and the drawing that preceded it, from 3/1/2022, are the most real I have ever done. Yet, these are pure abstractions. They must be viewed with open heart and open mind, like meditating within the ether of one's memory and time.

Processing Reality

2/24/2022

"Silence, Exile, and Cunning" (2022 No.1, state 5), oil on canvas, 45½x57 inches, {"I will not serve that in which I no longer believe whether it call itself my home, my fatherland, or my church: and I will try to express myself in some mode of life or art as freely as I can and as wholly as I can, using for my defense the only arms I allow myself to use, silence, exile, and cunning." - James Joyce (1882-1941), "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" (1916)}

Real is what real does when personal reality is accepted. I am in the process of accepting the animus of myself. Philip Guston said to me, "You really enjoy inventing a world full of little abstract forms and figures." Guston said this with glee (as he viewed one of my student paintings, see below). In other words, Guston recognized my most basic motivation before I had accepted it. For years after Guston’s comment I continued to squirm, search, look and wonder. Now I return, now I accept the truth of my mentor’s observation. Philip Guston’s recognition of me finding joy through invention of forms and figures is worthy of my acceptance. I denied a truth seen by this mentor like a child who chooses to deny the wisdom of his parent. Guston knew me better than myself. Now I am seeing my acceptance become real in the painting, "Silence, Exile, and Cunning”!

"Objects & Me", oil on masonite, 1978

When Push Comes to Shove

11/28/2021

Drawing 11·24·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

"Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up" (2021 No.10, state 7), oil on canvas, 56x62¼ inches, {"And it is that word 'hummy', my darlings, that marks the first place in 'The House at Pooh Corner' at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up." - Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), in "The New Yorker", 20 October 1928, reviewed by Dorothy Parker as "Constant Reader"}

The painting, "Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up", is pushing the foundation of my art-making. I am shoving it onward, to wherever it insists it wishes to be. This is not easy. I am not reluctant. I am scared. I am in wonderment. Am I the person I believed myself to be? I am not. I am more. I am more complex than I understand. I understand little compared to what I know.

This drawing took me several days to complete. It is in search of a strong, central theme, like "Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up". My insights are becoming real.

Reeling In the Real

10/17/2021

"Measure Anew" (2021 No.9, state 5), oil on canvas, 54½x54⅛ inches, {"I had become a new person; and those who knew the old person laughed at me. The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor: he took my measure anew every time he saw me, whilst all the rest went in with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." -George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), "Man and Superman" (1903)}

Existence is made of space and time. This is real. It is here and now, then becomes there and before. My job is to make my fleeting moments into real, long-lasting moments. Reeling in reality is not straight forward; it is a job for the mindful. Making Art is the practice of being mindfully aware of nuance, i.e., mindful in making real the details of fleeting reality. I can accomplish this if I am mindful of the reality garnered by each touch with brush (or pencil). My struggle is the work of making real the detailed knowledge I have gathered through mindful observation of visual reality. Actually, it goes deeper than visual reality, it goes into mindful awareness of emotional, personal reactions to visual reality; my Art is successful if it illustrates my interactivity with people and the world.

Yesterday version 5 of "Measure Anew" became more true to its name. I am constantly reassessing my means of making art; yesterday I acted anew in my approach, thus changing the artistic consequences of my art.

A New & Steady Man

9/6/2021

"Find a Man" (2021 No.8, state 2), oil on canvas, 55¼x59½ inches, {"When we see a natural style, we are astonished and delighted; for we expected to find an author, and we find a man." -Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), "Pensées", 29 (1670)}

My approach in making this painting feels new. I act with a steady hand, a true hand; slowly, introspectively, with caution, deliberation, then with confidence. I know what I am doing. I know what I am making. This is truth-telling in action. The result is true. This is how Art should be made: deep, unexplainable, intuitive knowledge in genesis as real. It is my vision made into visual reality.

The title of this painting, "Find a Man", is apt. "When we see a natural style, we are astonished and delighted; for we expected to find an author, and we find a man." -Blaise Pascal

Roundabout

4/9/2021

Drawing 04·08·2021, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

I am working toward a disposition that is direct, realistic emotional intensity. Why muck around when roundabout is confusing? Go for it! Devolve from confusion, uncertainty, and mystification. This is the route to satisfactory communication, trueness in social intercourse. Yesterday's drawing was a realistic step toward my goal of unabashed, complete honesty.

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