 Drawing 11·24·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  "Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up" (2021 No.10, state 7), oil on canvas, 56x62¼ inches, {"And it is that word 'hummy', my darlings, that marks the first place in 'The House at Pooh Corner' at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up." - Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), in "The New Yorker", 20 October 1928, reviewed by Dorothy Parker as "Constant Reader"} The painting, "Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up", is pushing the foundation of my art-making. I am shoving it onward, to wherever it insists it wishes to be. This is not easy. I am not reluctant. I am scared. I am in wonderment. Am I the person I believed myself to be? I am not. I am more. I am more complex than I understand. I understand little compared to what I know.
This drawing took me several days to complete. It is in search of a strong, central theme, like "Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up". My insights are becoming real.  "Measure Anew" (2021 No.9, state 5), oil on canvas, 54½x54⅛ inches, {"I had become a new person; and those who knew the old person laughed at me. The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor: he took my measure anew every time he saw me, whilst all the rest went in with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." -George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), "Man and Superman" (1903)} Existence is made of space and time. This is real. It is here and now, then becomes there and before. My job is to make my fleeting moments into real, long-lasting moments. Reeling in reality is not straight forward; it is a job for the mindful. Making Art is the practice of being mindfully aware of nuance, i.e., mindful in making real the details of fleeting reality. I can accomplish this if I am mindful of the reality garnered by each touch with brush (or pencil). My struggle is the work of making real the detailed knowledge I have gathered through mindful observation of visual reality. Actually, it goes deeper than visual reality, it goes into mindful awareness of emotional, personal reactions to visual reality; my Art is successful if it illustrates my interactivity with people and the world.
Yesterday version 5 of "Measure Anew" became more true to its name. I am constantly reassessing my means of making art; yesterday I acted anew in my approach, thus changing the artistic consequences of my art.  "Find a Man" (2021 No.8, state 2), oil on canvas, 55¼x59½ inches, {"When we see a natural style, we are astonished and delighted; for we expected to find an author, and we find a man." -Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), "Pensées", 29 (1670)} My approach in making this painting feels new. I act with a steady hand, a true hand; slowly, introspectively, with caution, deliberation, then with confidence. I know what I am doing. I know what I am making. This is truth-telling in action. The result is true. This is how Art should be made: deep, unexplainable, intuitive knowledge in genesis as real. It is my vision made into visual reality.
The title of this painting, "Find a Man", is apt. "When we see a natural style, we are astonished and delighted; for we expected to find an author, and we find a man." -Blaise Pascal  Drawing 04·08·2021, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I am working toward a disposition that is direct, realistic emotional intensity. Why muck around when roundabout is confusing? Go for it! Devolve from confusion, uncertainty, and mystification. This is the route to satisfactory communication, trueness in social intercourse. Yesterday's drawing was a realistic step toward my goal of unabashed, complete honesty.
 Drawing 03·25·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches My verbal information does no justice here. This drawing is this drawing. It works, it sings, it is real, I am real. Hallelujah!
 Drawing 06·04·2020, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  "Amidst a Falling World" (2020 No.3, state 08), oil on canvas, 66¼x55½ inches {"Should the whole frame of nature around him break, In ruin and confusion hurled, He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, And stand secure amidst a falling world." - Horace (65-8BC), "Odes", book 3, no.4, I.52)} If I am to solve this, I am required to give into instinct and intuition. Proper and correct causes confusion. Logic is an enemy; it relies upon experience. Logic is inherently biased. I will continue to use my knowledge of Art History, and the knowledge and skill I have work so hard and long to acquire. I will, however, temper my simple, intellectual knowing, with my deeper intuitive knowing.
The activity on yesterday's drawing and painting did move me forward. They solidly accept the reality of classical composition, while exhibiting my struggle to throw my worries and concerns in the face of the viewer.  Drawing 05·20·2020, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  "Amidst a Falling World" (2020 No.3, state 06), oil on canvas, 66¼x55½ inches {"Should the whole frame of nature around him break, In ruin and confusion hurled, He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, And stand secure amidst a falling world." - Horace (65-8BC), "Odes", book 3, no.4, I.52)} The cliché about the elephant in the room is upon me. Direct, emotive, head-on, purposeful slam and damn, is necessary; it is no longer possible for me to ignore. I have tried to avoid this elephant, this inevitable realization; my art has suffered because of my ignorance.
Yesterday's work recognizes reality; I accept necessity. Yesterday's drawing, and the changes made to the painting, "Amidst a Falling World," are actualizations of necessity. Viewer engagement requires the image be immediately recognizable; this means it must be without pretension. It must sit squarely, recognizably, in front of the viewer.  Drawing 05·02·0202, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches Yesterday's drawing is worth its try. I am looking to excite the entire two-dimensional surface. I'm looking to engage emotions upon first site. The insistence of two-dimensionality, which is true for all wall-hung objects, is undeniable. I have tried to deny that, but the hour is getting later; I want to express now, not later. So, here they come. One after another; I am going to hurl images at the viewer, all in acceptance of my human-ness, reality, and my angst. I want to be here to stay, but I know that cannot be true. Full acceptance is pictorial two-dimensional acceptance; 2D limitations embrace both space and time. I live in a 3D human world where 2D images hang on our walls. Okay, I accept it! Now, here come the real. I am fully aware that the greatness of Pablo Picasso began in his youth. Early on in his artistic life, Pablo accepted the limitations of space and time; his acceptance occurred far earlier in his life than my acceptance of the same. From my earliest days I rebelled against limitations. Pablo accepted the reality of limitations, then he worked within those limitations to create amazingly disparate images. I show you one (below), because it is related to the drawing I created yesterday.  Pablo Picasso, "Young Girl Throwing a Rock", oil on canvas, 1931  "Your Decisions Matter" (2020 No.2, state 3), oil on canvas, 52x55½ inches {"It's essential that you believe as if your decisions matter... reality isn't important; what's important is your belief..." - Ted Chiang, "Exhalation", 2019} Fantasy and reality become the same in a painting. Such it is with the painting, "Your Decisions Matter". In this painting I see reality. I can feel reality; I also see fantasy. Big blockbuster TV series do much the same, like Game of Thrones. It ain't real; that depicted never happened, but it mimics, rhymes with stuff we know exists. That is the way my art is going. This painting, aptly entitled "Your Decisions Matter", is proof. I had to work many years to get clarity. All my work, the hundreds of paintings, the thousands of drawings, led to this. I know better who I am. I know better the means to express myself. This is reality. I feel safe. I can now come out.
 "Clever Liars" (2020 No.1, state 01), oil on canvas, 56¼x45¼ inches {"Clever liars give details, but the cleverest don't!" -anonymous}  Drawing 02·22·2020, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I have often referred to the feigning of the third dimension on a two-dimensional surface as artifice. Here is it again, in a new painting, and in a new drawing; both are products of yesterday's studio session. The painting is aptly entitled "Clever Liars"; its third-dimension is a lie. My quotation is an old one, one with no known author. The idea is "details" diminish the cleverness of a lie. Too many details in a lie diminish its acceptance in marriages, business, and politics, not so in art. The more detail in a drawing, or a painting, the more the viewer accepts the artifice. If you don't believe me, or if you don't see this in the work I post today, view the 2014 watercolor painting by Anselm Kiefer, below; you can feel your eye fall into Kiefer's painting, scoping back until the eye hits the artifice that appears to be a sunset. This use of the third dimension is very important to me. I find an image which engages the viewer because it insists upon being seen with a third-dimension, a grandly accepted lie; the lie of depth on a flat plane, forces the viewer to think actuality, i.e., the viewer has an additional incentive to believe the image before them mimics reality. They fall into the artwork as people fall into a con job. I have been told the greatest cons are those the "mark" believe they have determined to benefit themselves; the mark determines they will benefit by causing a loss to the con-artist; the "stooge" thinks the "grifter" does not understand how he, the "confidence man," will lose when the "sucker" goes ahead and takes the bait. FYI: A confidence trick is also known as a con game, a con, a scam, a grift, a hustle, a bunko (or bunco), a swindle, a flimflam, a gaffle, or a bamboozle. The intended victims are known as marks, suckers, stooges, mugus, rubes, or gulls (from the word gullible). When accomplices are employed, they are known as shills.  Anselm Kiefer, "The Evening of All Days, the Day of All Evenings", watercolor on paper, 2014 |
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At MEHRBACH.com you may view many of my paintings and drawings, past and present, and see details about my life and work. Archives
January 2022
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