Category: Research

Looking for Me, Myself, and I

12/19/2021

Drawing 12·18·2021 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Drawing 12·18·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

Selfish it is, but it is what I do. I am a mystery to unravel. I am endlessly fascinated by unknowns. I have many unknowns. Once a Scientist, for many years I have been an Artist. I do the same thing in both professions. I seek to find. These two drawings are as different as are my mysteries. I will continue to seek.

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Willful, Thoughtful, Seeking

12/18/2021

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Drawing 12·17·2021 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Drawing 12·17·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

I am going to find iT! I am within a willful search through research. That means, two steps forward, one backward, two forward, et cetera. Today, upon looking at these drawings, I did one forward, one backward. And so It goes...

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Blah Blah Blah

12/16/2021

Drawing 12·15·2021 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Drawing 12·15·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

So what-ta-ya think? Blah, blah, blah... I am in the midst of research and development. Anything I say right now will be similar in tone to the pundits on ESPN or CNBC, pretending to be in the know; today they predict the outcome of Super Bowl 2022 and next week's stock market trends. Well, I am here. I don't know where I am going. I do know I am embarked upon a reasonable and intelligent journey.

These two drawing sparkle with ideas. They sit with impact and truth. Enjoy! (blah, blah, blah...)

The Structure of Contempt

10/10/2021

Drawing 10·08·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

Drawing 10·09·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

When does seeing become believing? For me, not soon, perhaps never, perhaps now. I have contempt for my own work. When concluded it never fully satisfies. I doubt success, so I do more. In doing I appreciate my own ability to see and feel my way to sense and sensibility. In the conclusion I find no happiness. I like these drawings, I doubt these drawings. Therefore I return to make more.

Anamorphosis is Possible

9/5/2021

Drawing 09·04·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

My road is narrowing. I am walking into a place where centering is true, and anamorphosis is possible. This is a world closer to my kind, to my ability to comprehend concisely, in depth and nuance. Am I not becoming more true to myself? My recent drawings feel true, so they may be true. I am a second guesser. Never do I take an idea to be correct without a considerable body of investigatory repetition, truth tested by research.

Today's drawing feels right and good.

Three and Three Again

5/1/2021

Drawing 04·30·2021 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Drawing 04·30·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Drawing 04·30·2021 No.3, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Three in research for more and more and more closer to realizing self-determination as law, not as question. These are answers. More questions are coming. More answers will be given.

Two More in Question

3/18/2021

Drawing 03·17·2021 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Drawing 03·17·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

I am writing less because may drawings are saying more.

Being Now is No to Loneliness

3/14/2021

Drawing 03·12·2021 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Drawing 03·12·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

The surprise of being mindful is the disappearance of loneliness. Learning about oneself is an endless task, a practice in mindfulness. The result is a now and present dialogue with a gigantic vastness of knowing and mystery. Discoveries are endless. Practicing mindfulness is often called zazen. Mine is not in the lotus position. Mine is an active practice in making art. I stand tall in my zazen, I use my hands, my tools, and my wide open eyes.

The drawings I show today were completed on Friday March 12. That was the day I obtained my second shot of Moderna Covid-19 vaccine. Yesterday I was very tired, achey. Today, I am back to normal. I anticipate a good day in the studio.

These drawings are exploratory, investigatory. That is normal. I am normal. These drawings are what they are.

Finding Robust

1/31/2021

"Startle & Lay Siege" (2021 No.1, state 5), oil on canvas, 36x45 inches {"I was learning at seventy-one what it is to be deranged. Proving that self-discovery wasn't over after all. Proving that the drama that is associated usually with the young as they fully begin to enter life... can startle and lay siege to the aged." -Philip Roth, "Exit Ghost"}

Drawing 01·30·2021 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Drawing 01·30·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

There are many ways to approach the emotional energy in a rectangular work of art. I am trying one after the other, looking for robust reflection of my feelings. It is a game. I am challenging my ability to make real the stuff I feel and know. This is research. Try one thing, then another. Take a couple steps forward, then a failure. React to failure. Take another step, hopefully forward. With time and energy, I am getting closer. Success is translating my knowing, my feeling, into the physical image I am making. Look at yesterday's work. Each one is a step in the right direction. Are they fully successful? That feeling of being near, but incomplete, is the reason I return. The success I am experiencing is this: I feel closer to making real that which I know and feel.

Vigor & Vie For

1/9/2021

"Startle & Lay Siege" (2021 No.1, state 1), oil on canvas, 36x45 inches {"I was learning at seventy-one what it is to be deranged. Proving that self-discovery wasn't over after all. Proving that the drama that is associated usually with the young as they fully begin to enter life... can startle and lay siege to the aged." -Philip Roth, "Exit Ghost"}

Drawing 01·08·2021 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Drawing 01·08·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

As old as I am, as much I have investigated life and living, I continue to be surprised by my vigor and the consistency of my vying for truth. Yesterday was an awesome day, filled with vigor, a day I competed eagerly with myself to achieve a clearer personal vision, one fully immediate and self-reflective. Right now, I am off to do more! You judge the success, and the failure. I am in the midst of investigation; I do not want to be judgmental.

<<Previous

Looking for Me, Myself, and I

Willful, Thoughtful, Seeking

Blah Blah Blah

The Structure of Contempt

Anamorphosis is Possible

Three and Three Again

Two More in Question

Being Now is No to Loneliness

Finding Robust

Vigor & Vie For

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