Hide and seek, real or not, never easy to find; yet, here I come.
Selfish it is, but it is what I do. I am a mystery to unravel. I am endlessly fascinated by unknowns. I have many unknowns. Once a Scientist, for many years I have been an Artist. I do the same thing in both professions. I seek to find. These two drawings are as different as are my mysteries. I will continue to seek.
I am going to find iT! I am within a willful search through research. That means, two steps forward, one backward, two forward, et cetera. Today, upon looking at these drawings, I did one forward, one backward. And so It goes...
So what-ta-ya think? Blah, blah, blah... I am in the midst of research and development. Anything I say right now will be similar in tone to the pundits on ESPN or CNBC, pretending to be in the know; today they predict the outcome of Super Bowl 2022 and next week's stock market trends. Well, I am here. I don't know where I am going. I do know I am embarked upon a reasonable and intelligent journey.
These two drawing sparkle with ideas. They sit with impact and truth. Enjoy! (blah, blah, blah...)
When does seeing become believing? For me, not soon, perhaps never, perhaps now. I have contempt for my own work. When concluded it never fully satisfies. I doubt success, so I do more. In doing I appreciate my own ability to see and feel my way to sense and sensibility. In the conclusion I find no happiness. I like these drawings, I doubt these drawings. Therefore I return to make more.
My road is narrowing. I am walking into a place where centering is true, and anamorphosis is possible. This is a world closer to my kind, to my ability to comprehend concisely, in depth and nuance. Am I not becoming more true to myself? My recent drawings feel true, so they may be true. I am a second guesser. Never do I take an idea to be correct without a considerable body of investigatory repetition, truth tested by research.
Today's drawing feels right and good.
Three in research for more and more and more closer to realizing self-determination as law, not as question. These are answers. More questions are coming. More answers will be given.
I am writing less because may drawings are saying more.
The surprise of being mindful is the disappearance of loneliness. Learning about oneself is an endless task, a practice in mindfulness. The result is a now and present dialogue with a gigantic vastness of knowing and mystery. Discoveries are endless. Practicing mindfulness is often called zazen. Mine is not in the lotus position. Mine is an active practice in making art. I stand tall in my zazen, I use my hands, my tools, and my wide open eyes.
The drawings I show today were completed on Friday March 12. That was the day I obtained my second shot of Moderna Covid-19 vaccine. Yesterday I was very tired, achey. Today, I am back to normal. I anticipate a good day in the studio.
These drawings are exploratory, investigatory. That is normal. I am normal. These drawings are what they are.
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At MEHRBACH.com you may view many of my paintings and drawings, past and present, and see details about my life and work.