 Drawing 02·15·2022, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  "Silence, Exile, and Cunning" (2022 No.1, state 1), oil on canvas, 45½x57 inches, {"I will not serve that in which I no longer believe whether it call itself my home, my fatherland, or my church: and I will try to express myself in some mode of life or art as freely as I can and as wholly as I can, using for my defense the only arms I allow myself to use, silence, exile, and cunning." - James Joyce (1882-1941), "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" (1916)} My Art is invention; drawing is the means, not the motivation. I am creating a world that suits my love of drawing because drawing disentangles my need, my desire, my love of touch; drawing is feeling through marking. Drawing is sexual in nature and much more. I touch, I feel, I think, I mark, therefore I am. Drawing is an act of self-discovery, a search for core values through touch, light, form, and place.
My whole life is instigated by being wrong. Failure inspires me to search again. Yesterday I began a new painting, aptly entitled "Silence, Exile, and Cunning” (from James Joyce’s “Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.”).  Drawing 12·31·2021, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches Many things looks right until they don't. This drawing looks good to me, but I have my doubts. Yes, no; could it be something incorrectly formed? Might there be something I am not seeing correctly, or, but for a fool I am. I do not know with absolutism, so I will continue to do what I am doing. I doubt, therefore I go on, I make new stuff. Here I am on the first day of 2022. Looking back upon least year's work, I believe I have come to understand a few things better than when I began 2021. I will continue to make an effort see better. Happy New Year! I wish the best to us all!
 Drawing 09·28·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches New is old and old is new; tis true because invention is reinvention cuz all that is has been before.
It took me several days of revisits to complete this drawing, which looks new to me, but, of course, it is not. Its quality is high; that's helps make it new, better. I find the definitive back-wall very interesting. That back-wall is a solid place to begin the origin of this drawing's movement. This quality infests me with surprise. I like this drawing.  "Measure Anew" (2021 No.9, state 01), oil on canvas, 54½x54⅛ inches, {"I had become a new person; and those who knew the old person laughed at me. The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor: he took my measure anew every time he saw me, whilst all the rest went in with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." -George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), "Man and Superman" (1903)} Surprised, dazed, and in question — that is the tenacious and uncomfortable life I am living. I am hanging in, always anew, always judgmental, always in worry. Thankfully, here comes the painting, "Measure Anew". It is what I do. I am George Bernard Shaw's tailor; I measure anew every time I see myself.
 "Stubborn & Egotistical" (2020 No.4, state 1), oil on canvas, 64½x55 inches {"If we've learned anything from the best-selling 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' children's book series, it's that those who see themselves surrounded by idiots are usually idiots themselves." -Jakob Augstein, "Stubborn and Egotistical" (Spiegel Online, 3/25/2013)} This painting, "Stubborn & Egotistical", is a fascinating research project. It is the simplicity of two major forms. This cannot hold. These objects will become more interesting as they take their journey into determinant, painterly objects; they will be cajoled till they exude spirit and consequence.
 Drawing 07·16·2020 No.1, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  Drawing 07·16·2020 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  Drawing 07·16·2020 No.3, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches These three drawings look very different from anything I have done before. During their making I allowed myself to feel fully, to feel deeply, to be true to my integral, internal self. These are me struggling to decompose my knowledge. These are me struggling to be in the center of my lonely, unique intuition. I am making an effort to follow my center, step by unique step. My discipline is in each step; each step is as internal reaction to the success or failure of the last step. I am working hard to move without preconception, or bias. This is practice in being mindful. It is arduous work to stay centered in the here and now! These drawings represent a new beginning. I have begun stripping away preconceptions, bias, education, and Art History; all of my learned knowledge and learned behavior pollutes my mind; regurgitating past experience distracts from presence and personal reality. Practicing mindfulness means I am falling into my center; a center that only I possess in the here and in the now.
 Drawing 12·31·2019, graphite on paper, 16x20 inches "Out with the old, in with the new" is not relevant here. The last drawing of 2019 is a harbinger of those to come in 2020. That's it! Happy New Year!
 Drawing 07·18·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  "Sentence" (2019 No.4, state 01), oil on canvas, 36x61.5 inches {"And you’d spend years trying to decipher the sentence, until finally you’d understand it. But after a while you’d realize you got it wrong, and the sentence meant something else entirely." - Tadeusz Dąbrowski, from the poem "Sentence"} Yesterday felt almost normal. I was in the studio; I made art! I had more ideas than I could make real. Thus came a new painting, "Sentence". "Sentence" is named after the splendid poem by Tadeusz Dąbrowski, published in this week's The New Yorker magazine (July 22, 2019 Issue). Yesterday's drawing was new and different and excellent too! Sentence  "Chaos, Stillness & Prayer" (2018 No.9, state 9), oil on canvas, 54x36 inches {"Art has something to do with the achievement of stillness in the midst of chaos. A stillness which characterizes prayer, too, and the eye of the storm.... an arrest of attention in the midst of distraction." -Saul Bellow, "Writers at Work: Third Series", 1967} Almost, but not quite — the painting "Chaos, Stillness & Prayer" requires today to make real its possibilities. Today it will transition to full reality. Angst is taking over. I need to begin a new painting. I have new ideas that need to take shape on canvas. There is hunger in me to self-discover forward. My success rate, as measured by the quality of my paintings, is greater than ever before. My new works always speak more accurately to me than my past works, thus adding to my angst. Time is limited, now and in the future. I choose to maximize my ideas.
 "The Doctrine of Liberty" (2019 No.1, state 1), oil on canvas, 66x59.5 inches {"I believe there is a golden thread which alone gives meaning to the political history of the West, from Marathon to Alamein, from Solon to Winston Churchill and after. This I chose to call the doctrine of liberty under the law." -Anthony Sampson, "The Changing Anatomy of Britain", 1982} I have been thinking about The Law — The Law for a visual artist in 2019. An End to Litigiousness? is the title of my 1/16/2019 Blog Post. This deserves an answer: "In 2019 can art be made without The Law?" Yesterday I began a new painting. I call it, The Doctrine of Liberty. The Doctrine of Liberty has intent. It intends to be one possible answer to my litigious question. It may go astray during its construction. As usual, I will attempt to discover myself through my art-making. I will generate new information. This will lead to better informed answers. Truth will be strengthened. The Doctrine of Liberty is scalped from Anthony Sampson's famous book, Anatomy of Britain. To further clarify my reasoning I slightly alter Sampson's quote: "I believe there is a golden thread which alone gives meaning to [The Art History] of the West." I could have called my new painting A Golden Thread. I chose The Doctrine of Liberty because this painting is a statement, albeit part of a golden thread. It is me seeking personal liberty, personal truth. Anthony Terrell Seward Sampson (3 August 1926 – 18 December 2004) was a British writer and journalist. His most notable and successful book was Anatomy of Britain, which was published in 1962 and was followed by five more "Anatomies", updating the original book under various titles. He was the grandson of the linguist John Sampson, of whom he wrote a biography, The Scholar Gypsy: The Quest For A Family Secret (1997). He also gave Nelson Mandela advice on Mandela's famous 1964 defense speech at the trial which led to his conviction for life. |
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