 Drawing 03·10·2021 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 03·10·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches My father said to me, "That's not luck! You are succeeding because of the work you've done!" Once upon a time I believed part of art-making was recognizing insights found through serendipitous mistakes. I called this, "Luck." Now, my Luck is diminishing, at least in the making of my art. More often I find truth by setting a stage, a stage based upon well founded, well worked, ideas. If there be luck, I am the maker of it.
These two drawings are exceptional pieces of manufactured self-discovery. There is no Luck in these drawings! These were found by work. The work is in the doing and in the work I did to inform the doing.  "Something Else Entirely" (2019 No.4, state 17), oil on canvas, 38.5x62.5 inches {"And you’d spend years trying to decipher the sentence, until finally you’d understand it. But after a while you’d realize you got it wrong, and the sentence meant something else entirely." - Tadeusz Dąbrowski, from the poem "Sentence"} I never promised you a rose garden, but I do promise the gift of quandary; give, take, wonder, and real; loss, gain, glory and pain; questions answered quickly, slowly, perhaps not at all; the thrust of the brush and the quietude of the touch — it is all here for your consumption and for my journey.
Thus we come to state 17 of "Something Else Entirely" (2019 No.4). This one, I fear, is old and new. I wish for always new; that would not fit the narrative of a life led step by step. "Something Else Entirely" is closer to becoming old. I am closer to beginning a new one. The end here will take a few more steps to obtain. I am willing. I am discovering I also am able; I have the ability to discover this painting's requirements, I have the means to make them real, thus bringing this painting to final rest.  Drawing 12·06·2019 (state 2), graphite on paper, 16x20 inches  "Inertia to Movement" (2019 No.6, state 2), oil on canvas, 64.5x64.75 inches {"Emotion is the moment when steel meets flint and a spark is struck forth, for emotion is the chief source of consciousness. There is no change from darkness to light, or from inertia to movement, without emotion." -Carl G. Jung (1875-1961), "The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious", 1955, translation R.F.C Hull} Drawing 12·06·2019 is much better than state No.1 (shown in yesterday's post). I show the drawing before the painting "Inertia to Movement" because I worked more on it, but also because my internalization through innovation and discover is more evident. The drawing changed drastically, the painting not-so-much. Without doubt, this is one of my greatest drawings.
 "2017 No.13" (state 10), oil on canvas, 56x65 inches  Drawing 10·18·2017, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Out of somewhere comes a border to the painting 2017 No.13. Yesterday I made an effort to find ground. I found a border after I found ground. Seeking is finding. Discovery occurs because of the search. Here it is... here it comes... ready or not!
 "2016 No. 1" [Painting-01·08·2016 (state 5)], oil on canvas, 56X60 inches "Freedom doesn't exist unless you use it." I heard this sentence, and the title of today's blog post, on a T.E.D. Radio Hour broadcast. It seems 85% of people, no matter their nationality or locale, prefer to follow blindly. That is, the majority of humans prefer NOT to challenge the status quo. Why is this relevant to me and my art? Because I must be part of the uncomfortable 15%. I am stuck in a rut: I can do nothing else but challenge my current views. This is annoying. I am never happy. I constantly wonder about the quality of my art, its relevancy to myself and others. Are my observations apposite to the conversation about life and living? I take the easy way out. I don't know! I do know one result of doing this. The process of art is me introspectively examining all that I know. Consequently, I am constantly moving closer to knowing if this work is worth doing. Worth doing? I am on a path that satisfies by following my curiosity. This feels useful and good! But, is my work helpful to others in their quest to be connected, purposeful, and determinant? That too would be useful and good!   Drawings from 1/16/2016, pencil on paper, 16X20 inches
 Drawing-12·09·2015, pencil on paper, 16X20 inches It's "Data"❗️
A day in the studio is not number 1, or number 2, or number 3. It is a gathering of information. It is research. Amazingly endless, it teaches while it exalts! Selfish, some would say, because it is paying homage to myself. Seeking myself is as mysterious as seeking a higher order in the universe. It is there and it is to be discovered and revealed. Such is my work.  "Wowie" (state 4 of Painting-10·11·2015), oil on canvas, 52X60 inches Ridiculous or profound? The question has been asked by artists over time immemorial and not-so-immemorial. So here I am. Silly, I ask the same question. I am having fun! I am discovering without self-criticism. It is simple. It is happening. It is being. Yesterday's work exhibits a mixture of all my interests. Yes, some plebeian, some cultured, some sophisticated. Are we not all a mix of all of it? Stupid and low-brow is not beyond the most clever, nor is profundity beyond the witless. I accept, if I am to be all that I am, then I must allow all that I contain to spill out and come forth in my art. I am surprised. Is that not a sign of virtuousness?    Drawings from 10/25/2015, all are 16X20 inches, pencil on paper
 "Beloved" (state 3), oil on canvas, 60X52 inches There are no good words to perfectly describe the methodology of discovery that has overtaken me, so "gronk" it is! This painting is beginning to work for me, as is the drawing.  Drawing-09·15·2015, pencil on paper, 20X16 inches  "Tele-Vision" (Painting-07·24·2015, state 5), oil on canvas, 52X60 inches I am unable to do better than simply draw without consciously needing to know direction or eventual outcome. I am not an artist who plans well. My art is not trying to illustrate, nor describe that which I know. I am trying to discover that which I do not consciously know, that which exists within me but I do not know. I am walking a road of self-discovery, not a road with sign-posts and advertisement billboards. The amazing thing I report today is my wonderment over the discovery that my unknowing is the subject of my art. The only way I know to allow this happen is to approach drawing relentlessly, with no preconceived direction. This seems impossible, since picking up a pencil is a preconceived direction. The manner in which my muscle memory makes lines is a preconceived direction. Training oneself is necessary, but it is, possibly, a hindrance in an activity such as mine. Yesterday's second drawing is more openly discovered than the first. It led me to a more open approach to the head in the painting Tele-Vision. I return to the studio today with this in mind.   Drawings from 07/29/2015, both pencil on paper, 16X20 inches
 Drawing-05·28·2015, pencil on paper, 16X20 inches I do not want, or need, to say much about yesterday's drawing. it surprised me! I feel a WOW! factor when I look at it. Besides the subject matter being "found", there is also the finding of so much more, i.e. forms invented, space invented, values subtly altered to create movement and light, and the use of line to move the viewer rhythmically and to stretch out the perspective. Wow! I am surprised and impressed.
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At MEHRBACH.com you may view many of my paintings and drawings, past and present, and see details about my life and work. Archives
January 2022
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