 Drawing 10·30·2019, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Mindfulness is filled with humor. Too much reflection on one's origin, or one's end, lends somberness to existence. The fleetingness of existence is humorous; our existence is devoid of eternal consequence. I would be relentlessly somber without humor. I do not like somberness. Life's quickness contains glory, pain, and process. I am choosing to add humor. I will not be forever intelligent and emotive because I am a minute collection of star stuff, Big Bang stuff; I am basic matter and energy. Skill is a curse. It is a responsibility. It opens enormous possibilities. It allows for successful communication. It is painful when neglected or used unwisely. Today you can see me questioning the possibilities of skillfulness; you can see it in the drawing I post today. In humor come my questions. I also post a cartoon. It illustrates human misunderstanding of skill. True skill is rare. Skill exists because its possessor has expanded his/her consciousness. Using skill well allows for depth of meaning, but skill can be used badly to shallowly exhibit sheer bravado.   "Sentence" (2019 No.4, state 11), oil on canvas, 38.5x62.5 inches {"And you’d spend years trying to decipher the sentence, until finally you’d understand it. But after a while you’d realize you got it wrong, and the sentence meant something else entirely." - Tadeusz Dąbrowski, from the poem "Sentence"}  Drawing 10·29·2019 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 10·29·2019 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches I am back after a few days off, feeling good, on the road again; my path is my own. Each step surprises me. I step, question by question; my intellectual direction is discovered along my way, step by step by step.
 Drawing 10·23·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I wish to control the third dimension that produces depth within my drawings and paintings. I picked up a book of Vincent Van Gogh drawings. I saw the drawing I reproduced, below. I responded. Trusting information from one of my forebears is useful.  Vincent Van Gogh, "Quay with Men Unloading Sand Barges", ink on paper, 1888  Drawing 10·22·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches Negative space continues as a major concern. In this regard, I often think of Vincent Van Gogh. His drawings, and his paintings, exhibit deep concern for every portion of the surface. I too am concerned with surface minutia. In yesterday's drawing I tried to animate the negative space through shape contrast and play. I believe it works! Today, as contrary research, I will touch every smidgen of the surface with a mark.  Vince Van Gogh, "Prisoners Exercising", 1890, oil on canvas, 80x 64cm  Vincent van Gogh, "Sower with Setting Sun", 1888, ink on paper  Drawing 10·20·2019 No.1, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  Drawing 10·20·2019 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  Drawing 10·20·2019 No.3, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Linear research is not. These are important drawings. They step into muck or moor or mice; they are distillation. They are frozen in time. They are star stuff. They contain the origin of essence. My steps are becoming more mine, more mindful, more mincemeat. These struggle to be free. These are truth and consequences. Popeye said it, "I yam what I yam."
 Drawing 10·19·2019, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Today's title is similar to "déjà vu all over again", née Yogi Berra; it is internally redundant, but apt just the same. I have already made today's drawings, which will be posted tomorrow, so... Perhaps, tomorrow's title's should be Déjà Vu All Over Again. Come back tomorrow for an explanation of whence these unusual drawings come.
The Bomb Cyclone hit us; We blacked out. Today I show work from two days ago. They are pencil made/blacked in/white left as negative space. Here they are:  Drawing 10·16·2019 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 10·16·2019 No.2, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches The story here is my search to exude mindful spirit in my art-making. Vincent Van Gogh did it, Egon Schiele did it, Michelangelo did it, Rembrandt did it, Picasso did it, Matisse did it. However, that is a handful of artists, less than a dozen. There are others, but they are not on the tip of my consciousness. Exuding mindful spirit occurs only through intensive, consistently centered practice. Mindful art sings depth of being, intuitive truth, and fully one's own comprehension of reality. This I practiced as I made the drawings I show today. They became reality through my struggle to be present. Looking at them now, I acknowledge they are not perfectly mindful, but they did take a jump in that direction. How do I know? Because they are unlike anything I, or anyone else, has ever made; they are purely mine! The step I took in making these drawings was my step. No one else is capable of taking this step, making this drawings. These drawings are mindfully mine.
 Drawing 10·15·2019, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  "Gunfire Across My Consciousness" (2019 No.5, state 7), oil on canvas, 48.5x31.75 inches {"My mind is just like a spin-dryer at full speed; my thoughts fly around my skull... Images gunfire across my consciousness... I jump in awe at the soul-filled bounty of my mind's expanse." -Christopher Nolan, Irish Writer on his reasons for writing "The Eye of the Clock", in November 8, 1987 "Observer"} Today's title is Wonky. As adjective, wonky is defined as "having or characterized by an enthusiastic or excessive interest in the specialized details of a particular subject or field." I'm obsessed by my quest to discover the subject of my art.
Yesterday's work is full of specialized details, all searching enthusiastically. I am excessively interested in detailed minutia. Every single part on my art pursues mindful visualization. I am getting better at this. Consequently, each mark takes its time, developing slowly, touch by touch, mark by mark. Yesterday's drawing is full of mindful spirit. I approached it as I do meditation. Marks were allowed to dictate their own time coming; they slowly searched, maturing till truth be told. Truth is dictated by intuitive decision-making, only when correctness is perceived do I move on. If I misstep in my journey, erasure is used. Normally methodology is two steps forward, one step back, two forward, et cetera. Not yesterday! The marks came mindfully slow, but the product came more quickly than usual. Mindfulness was more present than ever before. Thus I achieved more in one studio session than usual. I achieved a very good drawing, and I painted well too — both in the same day.  Drawing 10·13·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 10·12·2019, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Yesterday's drawing feels familiar; the one from 10/12/2019 feels strange. Both done by the same guy. Both completed yesterday, but one began two days ago. No one can say I am not searching. I get surprised too, you know. The tale told today is one of insecurity. I walk forward, step by unknown step, because I am not sure who I am.
 "Gunfire Across My Consciousness" (2019 No.5, state 6), oil on canvas, 48.5x31.75 inches {"My mind is just like a spin-dryer at full speed; my thoughts fly around my skull... Images gunfire across my consciousness... I jump in awe at the soul-filled bounty of my mind's expanse." -Christopher Nolan, Irish Writer on his reasons for writing "The Eye of the Clock", in November 8, 1987 "Observer"} I control many parts of my life; I do this to support a long lasting and healthy future. Healthy future is supported by good diet, exercise, and financial security. I work hard at each. Control does help in the quest for excellent physical health, but it is not good for excellent art-making.
Art making is spiritual. I am interested making art rich in spirit. True Spirit means making real my deepest nature. My deepest nature is intellect and emotions; an immense blend of stuff that sings my truths, my wishes, my angst, and my fears. Some might call this personality, but I must qualify: external personality does not always speak the truths hidden in the more complex, internal personality. In making-art I am trying to make real my internal personality. Succeeding in this endeavor means displaying reality. I struggle to be free, I struggle to make real. My internal personality is a bus-load of stuff. The bus needs to crash through the barrier. It is my job to make what I know into what I see. Allowing the crash, allowing the barrier to be destroyed, is letting go of controls, lying down the barrier, making real, allowing the bus load of stuff to empty into view. Yesterday I took one small step. I allowed the paint to go on canvas in surges of truth-making. I sought seeing reality in front of me. The barrier was less than before. |
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November 2024
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