Self-ridicule should be treasured. This occurred yesterday, to me... You can see it my self-ridicule in my silly journey through three states of Drawing 09·16·2021. None of them is perfect. None of them is worthy of full blown exhibition. I show them as self-ridicule. What was I thinking?
After the drawing I had made on the previous day (see it in this blog's previous post), I wanted to return to simple and direct. I deluded myself by working hard with on Drawing 09·16·2021. Arguably, state 3 is the best of the three. Who cares? Not me! Except, I do believe, as I always convince myself to believe, this failure is a lesson learned. I see. I know I went wrong. Today is a new day; I will be back at it again.
Yesterday's state 6 of "Find a Man" is better than state 5. This does embolden my ego, damaged by the ridiculous, wayward journey I experienced with Drawing 09·16·2021.
The question is... What are the limits of complexity an art-maker can create in his effort to immediately engage the viewer, then hold them for the long haul? The long haul is most important. If the viewer does not hang in the viewing, all depth and substance will be missed. The artwork fails if it does not hold the viewer's attention for minutes, then for days, and ultimately for years of return visits; each viewing to look again, to comprehend more, tp feel more, to be rewarded with more.
Yesterday's drawing was an effort to do just as say in the above paragraph. This is a rich, and profound, drawing; complex, filled with plasticity of thought and emotion.
Revelations come fast when knowledge is pushed... pitfalls are revealed, limits of knowing hit awareness. This makes for a wearing studio session. Such was yesterday, Here is the result. The painting, "Find a Man", took a definitive turn. This is important.
The beat goes on till the painting has been executed by query. All questions must be answered before a painting can go to its rest. There are miles to go on this one, "Find a Man". And as I meander my way through its execution I am finding a man.
I am taking on the difficult because I can. That huge cloud-like, ocher dominated form, must be handled carefully. A form so compositionally dominate must make total, readable sense. Scale is important here. The round form, on which the dominate ocher form impinges, is critical to the structural integrity of the composition. Centering must be a game well played. I have presented myself with a robust challenge to intellect and emotion. I believe I can handle it. I go, head to head.
It is no time to worry. It is time to do, to make. Take this one for what it is. I question without certifying an answer.
I am surprising myself. It is fun to abstract visual truth found in my walk-around reality. I do not know if viewers comprehend the twists and turns advanced upon my visual references, the ones that appear in my artwork. Do I care? This is my imagery. I am sending visual messages out into the world. Each viewer will interpret these images differently. Each will comprehend my images based on their own walk-around reality.
Yesterday I enjoyed making the drawing I show today. In its making I performed like a practiced acrobat: muscle memory, intellectual memory, and emotional memory performed as one. During its making I knew right from wrong, a righteous mark from a fallacious one.
My approach in making this painting feels new. I act with a steady hand, a true hand; slowly, introspectively, with caution, deliberation, then with confidence. I know what I am doing. I know what I am making. This is truth-telling in action. The result is true. This is how Art should be made: deep, unexplainable, intuitive knowledge in genesis as real. It is my vision made into visual reality.
The title of this painting, "Find a Man", is apt. "When we see a natural style, we are astonished and delighted; for we expected to find an author, and we find a man." -Blaise Pascal
My road is narrowing. I am walking into a place where centering is true, and anamorphosis is possible. This is a world closer to my kind, to my ability to comprehend concisely, in depth and nuance. Am I not becoming more true to myself? My recent drawings feel true, so they may be true. I am a second guesser. Never do I take an idea to be correct without a considerable body of investigatory repetition, truth tested by research.
Today's drawing feels right and good.
This drawing took two studio days to complete. This dedication of time to a drawing is rare. It is a sophisticated drawing. Is it a great drawing? I am mulling on that! It takes me a few days, sometimes weeks, to determine the truth or deception of a work of art. My first impulse with this one is positive. I shall see...
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