Yesterday's drawing took on an atmospheric feel, away from domination by a central form. There is no glare of white here. Someone pulled the shades over the windows. This is a snippet of residence within a darkened room.
![]() "Something Else Entirely" (2019 No.4, state 22), oil on canvas, 38.5x62.5 inches {"And you’d spend years trying to decipher the sentence, until finally you’d understand it. But after a while you’d realize you got it wrong, and the sentence meant something else entirely." - Tadeusz Dąbrowski, from the poem "Sentence"} I wish this was easier. Being patient is painful. Waiting for revelation and realization distracts and annoys. I am required to bear it. Being mortal, having a limited time to get it done, worries me. This is constant. Revelation is also constant. The requisite activity is showing up, being awake and aware, reacting to truth and failure until satisfaction and fulfillment are achieved.
Yesterday's revelation is state 22 of "Something Else Entirely" (2019 No.4). It took a jump toward fulfillment by becoming atmospherically consistent. It is now close to completion. In fact, looking at it here, in reproduction, makes me feel warm with success. State 22 of "Something Else Entirely" is something else entirely from state 21. It has started making sense. I like this drawing very much. But the painting, Doublethink, is me in doublethink. It is full questions, most of them unanswered. I love the time I have to doublethink, triple-think, think-a-myriad. Life is good.
Entrance must have immediacy. My drawings are beginning to understand this. Today's drawing does this well. Doublethink disturbs because that red form separates itself. It is looking for coherency. This may come through atmospheric effects or through formal effects. I am unsure. Not being sure is exciting. It means testing and questioning and finding answers not known before. Life is good. I am so sorry that my emotions take over and distract from the business at hand. Yesterday I was dragging. The restless night before took its toll. Still, I like yesterday's two drawings. I was too tired to paint. The painting "2016 No.14" sat in front of me. I did not have the energy to act upon it. The artifice of shadows cast on the artifice of the floor, disturb. The local and the atmospheric colors don't jive. They disturb. They distract. Making art is like being seated in a restaurant, feeling a breeze from the air conditioner blowing across one's neck and head. It disturbs. It distracts. You move. "2016 No.14" requires a changes. It disturbs. It distracts. I need to move upon it. That will wait till tomorrow. This is my apology to myself. Making art is an iterative process. It is the same process I learned when I studied engineering. Two steps forward, one back, two forward, et cetera. Yes, it never ends, but it does move forward. Knowledge is forever acquired. There is immortality in making art. It is never done. There is always a next step. The limit of a painting is the limit of current knowing. Knowing has no limits, but it cannot be acquired more quickly than it reveals itself. Art is a record of the acquisition of knowing. The greatest tragedy in being human is the physicality of it all. We require rest, sleep. We wear down. Fortunately rest brings renewed energy. Tomorrow I will work on "2016 No.14".
I do not want to be an infinite futz. I liked the arms and hands in this painting's previous version (#6), but this one (#7) is better in a few ways. The new hand gestures are more subtle and have deeper meaning. The overall color scheme is better and more manageable. The colors make greater sense in terms of balance, contrast, light, and form. At last I can see this painting's completion coming. As to mindful art-making, I need to continue to question that. This painting took a rather rough ride to get where it is now. I would prefer to get there without the bumps. Also, the color correction of the heads definitely moved in the right direction. The red floor now plays well with the flesh tones and the table top hue.
Having the ability to look back at the origins of Untitled-11·27·2013 can only amaze: The reality I was living in yesterday was so different than on the day I began this painting, i.e. 11/27/2013. Even compared to its previous state (#4) it is very different. Most striking is the change to the male figure, which now resembles a mild mannered boy, rather than a skeptical older man. This painting has certainly moved away from a theme of man/woman to man/animal observer. The color, and the dual nature of the atmospheric effects, will continue to develop. The forms within the painting require a lot of refinement. Then there is the firming up of the composition, which feels more like a splash across the canvas. It must become an expressively interactive space organized around forms, atmosphere, and color.
Yesterday's drawing was interesting. One thing for sure: the drawing is a study of the man's hair in the painting. Let me not diminish it to that alone (there is much more there than just hair). I do not want to offend anyone, so I have paraphrased the song "The Bitch is Back" by Elton John with lyrics by Bernie Taupin. My pruning of the lyrics brings them closer to the meaning of today's blog post.
"I was justified when I was five Raising Cain, I spit in your eye Times are changing... But the fever's gonna catch you when the bitch gets back I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch Oh the bitch is back Stone cold sober as a matter of fact I can bitch, I can bitch... It's the way that I move The things that I do" Yesterday's work has brought me back to first instincts, MY first instincts. Now it time to let the "good times roll." This brings me to lyrics from The Cars (Ocasek & Ric), which go to the heart of my acceptance of the direction I am now undertaking: "If the illusion is real let them give you a ride, if they got thunder appeal let them be on your side." Here is a more complete version of the lyrics from The Cars' song "Let the Good Times Roll": Let the good times roll Let them knock you around Let the good times roll Let them make you a clown Let them leave you up in the air Let them brush your rock and roll hair Let the stories be told They can say what they want Let the photos be old Let them show what they want If the illusion is real Let them give you a ride If they got thunder appeal Let them be on your side Let the good times roll Who knew? Not me. That is good. Here we go. I know it has not been fast, but it is happening. I am allowing it "to develop", as George Eastman said, "...slowly in the dark, like a photograph." Today I bring us up to speed on my visual thoughts. Few are shown, but each is important. More to come...
Today I show you two of my drawings (from yesterday) and two works by my contemporary, the Italian artist, Francesco Clemente. First, here are my drawings: I was in the middle of making the second drawing when I realized my approach is allowing me to be spontaneous in the the creation of image and form. I am losing my attachment to anatomy and realism and replacing it with expression through the invention of form with an increased awareness of composition as expression as well. This is what I see in Francesco Clemente's work. Now I show two of Clemente's paintings:
The man's head must be destroyed. Yesterday, in the painting "Intimidation," I re-painted much of the man's shirt and pants, and all of the female figure on the right. Now it is obvious the man's head is wrong. It is wrong in size, shape, expression, and in atmospheric color. Wow, it is really WRONG! So, once again, maybe for the sixth time, I will destroy the man's head and search to find the authentic one. All this destruction and creation has actually boosted my morale. I believe fully in an authoritative outcome for this painting. I feel within me the correct size, shape, expression, and color of this man's physiognomy. It is simple, I just need to feel, paint, and know simultaneously. This means I must be completely present as I create the form and color of this man's head. As I work, I must accept no less than legitimacy. The problem is this: the created visage must be true to itself and the entire painting. The enormous time I have practiced making art has provided me with the intuition, the awareness, and the discernment, to do this well.
|
To read my profile go to MEHRBACH.com.
At MEHRBACH.com you may view many of my paintings and drawings, past and present, and see details about my life and work. Archives
February 2025
|