The recesses of mental and emotive nuance are many. The game I play is finding hidden truths. But, why are they hidden? It is our human capacity to be persuaded by optimism; optimism produces false and distorted memories. I want to believe I am well. I want to believe I am whole. I want to believe I have dignity, I want to believe I am intelligent; all this desire distorts truth. Truth telling is difficult because truth is diffused by desire. Yes, I desire to make art so true and fine as to be immediately recognized as true and fine. However, no easy road to truth exists.
Daily, I show up in the studio. Daily, I seek to make visual truth. Today I show you yesterday's efforts. I believe they are very good; very good, meaning they are authentic steps toward truth-telling.
Two-thousand eighteen has begun: Here I am. Stronger than ever; Returning is a wonderful thing. Just when I thought ideas were rolling well I went away. I come back. Surprise, I am more clear. There will be strength in my returns. Here are those from My Day 1, 2018.
I am back. Time away is necessary. It is impossible to properly assess if local is all I am. I work constantly, without a break. I knew I had lost perspective. Honesty is never enough! When closeness is tight it removes me from being able to see the wider landscape. The intricacy with myself gets foggy. Before I took time away the vastness of my knowledge had gotten restricted by immediacy. The fulness of my larger experience had become puzzling. It is like living in a valley. I understood the nooks and crannies around me, but my larger, world view, was misty, befuddled. I had lost sight of the landscape outside my comfortable valley. I stopped working because I felt the gap between my activity and the greater depth of my being. Here I am, back, full of gusto and openness.
In my missing two weeks I lost one-third of my blog readers. Come back! I have returned with resolve, more understanding, more ambition. I am optimistic. My journey is more opportune than ever! I promise importance.
There is an inaugural sensation to the painting "2017 No.2". It plays with space and light in new ways. It is hopeful in its brightness and clarity. It radiates something new. It is the beginning of a new period of personal artistic substance.
Yesterday's drawing has a black cloud, a wall of stone, and a ground with ominous objects. Yet it is filled with light. Life is good!
What's it all about? I am certainly NOT stuck in a rut! I am driving along, turning a corner. The turn feels slow, lethargic. It does feel familiar. I am winding up, the tension in my rubber band of a soul is increasingly stretched. I feel taut, stressed, anxious, ready to jump. The coming recoil may not be pretty. My current work does not look pretty. Everything looks unappealingly unattractive. Yet, I am filled with optimism.
Yesterday's drawings are, in a simplistic way, exploratory. What can I do with that which I know? Is this craziness? I am more interested in the unknown than the known? Thus I explore, looking to push out of my comfort and into the revelatory uncomfortable. It would be healthier for me to revel in the simplicity of being, here and now. Would it not be better to be happy with the pleasures available to me? Am I a hero if I risk looking for the dark and dank? Or just a crazy idiot? Time and effort will tell.
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