 Drawing 05·10·2020, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  "Amidst a Falling World" (2020 No.3, state 05), oil on canvas, 66¼x55½ inches {"Should the whole frame of nature around him break, In ruin and confusion hurled, He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, And stand secure amidst a falling world." - Horace (65-8BC), "Odes", book 3, no.4, I.52)} Chemistry and Physics students are taught of the oppositeness of electrons and positrons — these particles are equal in all ways, size, mass, charge, except their charges are opposite. The positron is the antiparticle, or the antimatter counterpart, of the electron. The positron has an electric charge of +1 e, a spin of 1/2 (the same as the electron), and has the same mass as an electron. When a positron collides with an electron annihilation is the result; this annihilation produces two or more photons. It is these photons I am trying to create. The photon is a type of elementary particle. It is the quantum of the electromagnetic field, including electromagnetic radiation such as light and radio waves, and photons are the force carrier for the electromagnetic force. Photons are massless; they always move at the speed of light in vacuum. I am trying to move you, the viewers of my art, at the speed of light, with the force of photons. Yesterday I took another step toward this objective. Both the painting, and the drawing, I show today are quickly forceful because they harness the emotional effectiveness of positive versus negative space.
 Drawing 04·12·2020, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Yesterday, while in the studio, I heard Samin Nosrat say, "I actually like constraints. I think it makes us more creative." Samin Nostrat is the author of the cookbook, "Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat".
We are all living in a time of home restriction, personally centric space, and social distancing. What remains is isolated creativity. Exhibits are cancelled. Galleries are shut. I am in the studio. I made this drawing yesterday. It moves toward an emotive realization of space: negative, positive, two dimensional, artificially three-dimensional. It is in contrast that makes for emotion; negative versus positive, and real two-dimensional space versus the artifice of three-dimensional space. This take I show today, this drawing from yesterday, moves closer toward my recent creative insight: I am moving toward robust expression of all I am able to express on a flat two-dimensional surface. The constraint of aloneness is good for finding my truth; right now, our world insists on the loneliness of self-dependence for self-expression. Over the last weeks I have taken risks. I have made many drawings, most very different than the image I show today, Yesterday's drawing is a result of that search, a search through nonsense and failure and some success. I have been in the process of sorting out authentic emotive and intellectual representation, sorting it from the nonsense that resides in my head. For me, nonsense must be seen to be recognized as nonsense; then it can be tossed away. This is my creative process. I like the drawing I show today because it is closer to my personal reality. Making falderal is easy. Making substance is difficult. This drawing has substance.  Drawing 04·03·2020 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 04·03·2020 No.2, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I am working hard to feel myself through my drawings, one contemplative mark by one contemplative mark. This is a grandiose effort. It requires mindfulness beyond anything I have experienced before. The forms themselves, made by marks of a pencil, are just a portion of the self-empathic problem I am making an effort to solve; the space between each mark, and the space between each form, carries enormous empathetic weight. To fully engage the meaningfulness of this journey is daunting. These drawings are the beginning of very special art; I am beginning to make art as communication of nuanced, momentary feelings, to myself, and to those who view my art. My art is becoming a true record of my living, feeling, thinking, learning, and making.
 Drawing 0211·2020, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches The drawing I post today exhibits an intellectual and emotional jump. Here are kinetics, here are all kinds of space, from three dimensional and two dimensional space to negative and positive space. This drawing encounters every sort of space a viewer can perceive.
 "Gunfire Across My Consciousness" (2019 No.5, state 10), oil on canvas, 48.5x32.5 inches {"My mind is just like a spin-dryer at full speed; my thoughts fly around my skull... Images gunfire across my consciousness... I jump in awe at the soul-filled bounty of my mind's expanse." -Christopher Nolan, Irish Writer on his reasons for writing "The Eye of the Clock", in November 8, 1987 "Observer"}  Drawing 11·24·2019, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches There is something magical and emotional about the negative. Forms dominate both the drawing and the painting in today's post, but it is the negative, the areas without form, that sing in emotional stress. The forms punch out of the negative, speak loudly in positive voices. Consequently the forms punch enthusiastically, in and out they go, undeniable they are. This would, and could, not happen without astute realization of negative spaces. I believe yesterday's drawing is one of my most fully realized. It was born in mindfulness. Its exudes delicate interaction between individual forms, forms against one another, forms against ground. Elegant they are, both painting and drawing, both are loudly original, loudly me!
The Bomb Cyclone hit us; We blacked out. Today I show work from two days ago. They are pencil made/blacked in/white left as negative space. Here they are:  Drawing 10·16·2019 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 10·16·2019 No.2, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches The story here is my search to exude mindful spirit in my art-making. Vincent Van Gogh did it, Egon Schiele did it, Michelangelo did it, Rembrandt did it, Picasso did it, Matisse did it. However, that is a handful of artists, less than a dozen. There are others, but they are not on the tip of my consciousness. Exuding mindful spirit occurs only through intensive, consistently centered practice. Mindful art sings depth of being, intuitive truth, and fully one's own comprehension of reality. This I practiced as I made the drawings I show today. They became reality through my struggle to be present. Looking at them now, I acknowledge they are not perfectly mindful, but they did take a jump in that direction. How do I know? Because they are unlike anything I, or anyone else, has ever made; they are purely mine! The step I took in making these drawings was my step. No one else is capable of taking this step, making this drawings. These drawings are mindfully mine.
 Drawing 04·02·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I have been making a strong effort to think simple. I am well aware an obvious relationship between negative and positive space must be the capturing effect that is the ultimate driving force of the first glance. The first glance should capture viewers, rein them in. As complex as yesterday's drawing became, it is simple in its composition. I hope you see that. There is dark on the left, bright on the right, strong vertical movements play against strong forms on the left and the right. This is a masterful drawing. I felt mastery in my process.
 "How's It Gonna End" (2019 No.2, state 15), oil on canvas, 60x33 inches {"Life is sweet at the edge of a razor; And down in the front row of an old picture show the old man is asleep as the credits start to roll. And I want to know, the same thing everyone wants to know, how's it going to end?" -Tom Waits}  Drawing 03·31·2019 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 03·31·2019 No.2, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches When film was film I would take photos with it, develop it; first the negatives (in the dark of a developing tank), then the positives (in a dark room). I have aged. Film has left us, replaced by digital imaging, but I make analog images with pencil and oil paints. My recent passion in image-making is introspection regarding the power of the positive and the negative. George Eastman, the founder of Eastman Kodak Corporation, said, "Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness." This is me developing; unlike film, this is digital. This is the age of digitation. Now we use the digital World Wide Web. At one point I would have written this in my journal, but that was before blogging was possible.
All three images I show today are jumps in personal expressive progress. I am optimistic. I will solve my angst, my problems; I will find a way to express myself well. I do not want to live in darkness. Here I am!  Drawing 03·28·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches Yesterday's studio session was a lot of me sitting and observing. Surprised I was at my having ignored the potency of negative space. I sometimes feel awash is quandary. Why did I so actively attack the positive forms as animators of my images? Why did I not look ardently at negative space as animator? I picked up a few books; I looked at images of works from de Kooning to Guston to Matisse. All of these artists, like me, tend to clog their canvases with marks, making negative space look like an afterthought. Their drawings, however, are different. Negative space is more important. (See drawings by these artists, below.) Today, I offer you a drawing of mine (made yesterday). In it I use negative space effectively. Learning never ceases. Learning sometimes leaves me with a feeling of loss; Sometimes it hurts! Why did it take me so long, some many drawings, so many paintings, to realize the great emotional and intellectual value of negative space?  Willem de Kooning, "Untitled", charcoal on paper, 1966  Philip Guston, "Web", India Ink on Paper, 1975  Henri Matisse, "Lydia with Her Hair in a Net", pencil on paper, 1939   Here are a couple of drawings. Each with a lot of negative space, each with a few positive forms, and both with a feel of the third dimension. Such is life.
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At MEHRBACH.com you may view many of my paintings and drawings, past and present, and see details about my life and work. Archives
July 2020
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