 "The Opposite of Indifference" (2021 No.4, state 06), oil on canvas, 50x54 inches, {"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference. Because of indifference one dies before one actually dies. To be in the window and watch people being sent to concentration camps or being attacked in the street and do nothing, that's being dead. His or her neighbor are of no consequence. Their hidden or visible anguish is of no interest. Indifference reduces the Other to an Abstraction." - Elie Wiesel, "US News & World Report" (27 October 1986)}  Drawing 05·30·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Doggedly I am in pursuit. Pursuit of the "what" is not clear, nor should it be. I will know it when I see it (if I ever see it). These steps I take are ones in self-knowledge. Goodness and purity are felt, never fully seen in my own work. I know they exist. I have seen them in other artists' work. My belief in myself, the possibility of my being successful, is relentless. I am sure this is the way John Coltrane felt. I keep going back to do more work because I know a little tweak will get me closer to full realization that is my own depth.
Yesterday's work, the drawing and painting, were good, solid steps. I felt ground, but that ground has a little squish to it.  Drawing 05·29·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches This drawing took a lot of time, hours and hours. Sometimes I know everything feels very difficult during the process of making art, I can't quite get things to jive, or feel like they jive. Yesterday was one of those times. I know I am erratic in my self-acceptance, Perhaps this is a great drawing. Perhaps I had difficulty sorting out truth because I had so much flowing through my head; recent work, recent successes, and recent questions, some answered well, some not so well. In any case, it is days like this that I know problem solving is not a straight line, but a spiraling loop. On my problem solving way I experience erratic emotions. Elation and despair, discomfort and self-confidence; various emotions occur from day to day. Comfort is impossible to sustain.
 "The Opposite of Indifference" (2021 No.4, state 05), oil on canvas, 50x54 inches, {"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference. Because of indifference one dies before one actually dies. To be in the window and watch people being sent to concentration camps or being attacked in the street and do nothing, that's being dead. His or her neighbor are of no consequence. Their hidden or visible anguish is of no interest. Indifference reduces the Other to an Abstraction." - Elie Wiesel, "US News & World Report" (27 October 1986)}  Drawing 05·28·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches As art history knowledge goes, I have a lot. Despite the logic imbedded in masterpieces, omni-present in my mind, that logic is elusive. It is logical to be influenced by the Masters. It is illogical not to embrace lessons learned from the Masters. The Masters worked lifetimes to achieve their intelligence of knowing. I am here, a lifetime of achievement behind me; I continue to learn. My learning has not taken a fully logical route, I am accepting logic more today than ever before. It surrounds me, is imbedded in me, is imbedded in the painters who influence my work. Why fight it? I fought it because I wanted to become myself, I want to discover by myself by myself. Here I am, accepting logic because I am now able to accept that I have become myself. Yesterday's drawing was made after seeing a small Joan Miró print in a room of house, a house built and exhibited at The Museum of Modern Art. An article appeared about this house appeared in yesterday's New York Times. It was not the Miró I show below.  Joan Miró, "Figures and Dog in Front of Sun", oil on canvas, 1949  Drawing 05·27·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  "Gonna Speak to the Crowd" (2021 No.5, state 2), oil on canvas, 62¾x57⅜ inches, {"I'm gonna spare the defeated — I'm gonna speak to the crowd. I'm gonna spare the defeated, boys, I'm going to speak to the crowd. I am goin' to teach peace to the conquered. I'm gonna tame the proud." - Bob Dylan, "Lonesome Day Blues" (2001)} Getting centered does not mean relentless balance. There is tipping this way or that. Life is not a flat road; life is full of rocks, ups, and downs. So too must be art; art mimics life. The overall process of living must be mimicked in art making. The corner I have turned is exhibited in my art as acknowledgment that every moment leaves its trace; every moment adds to a full journey. Every journey is just one journey before many more journeys, all exhibited as step by momentary step. My work exhibits the place I am living now, around the corner from task orientation to living moment by moment.
 Drawing 05·26·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches On my desk is this calendar; it gives a new work of art with every flip of the date. Yesterday it was a Rembrandt portrait, the one shown below. I was amazed at its clarity. It reminded me of the clarity of Vermeer's "Girl with the Pearl Earring." Education: mastery is clarity. My art is becoming masterful.  Rembrandt, "Portrait of Saskia van Uylenburgh", 78.8x99.5 cm, 1634  Drawing 05·25·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches It is becoming increasingly clear to me, profundity requires clarity. Here they come — drawings and paintings with more clarity! Looking back, was I afraid of full, unabated clarity because complexity hid my confusion. When I did not feel a high degree of artistic knowledge I mucked around with complex images, looking for truth within the muck. Well, is that not the way to enlightenment?
 Drawing 05·23·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  "Gonna Speak to the Crowd" (2021 No.5, state 1), oil on canvas, 62¾x57⅜ inches, {"I'm gonna spare the defeated — I'm gonna speak to the crowd. I'm gonna spare the defeated, boys, I'm going to speak to the crowd. I am goin' to teach peace to the conquered. I'm gonna tame the proud." - Bob Dylan, "Lonesome Day Blues" (2001)} New painting! New drawing! New ideas... always! This is lonesome business. Try and see, go here, go there. I am clear and present. I accept my personal journey, my self-expressive journey, my need to make art. "Lonesome Day Blues"  Drawing 05·22·2021 No.1, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  Drawing 05·22·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  Drawing 05·22·2021 No.3, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  Drawing 05·22·2021 No.4, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches The struggle to be free is also the struggle to be self-lucid. My work is paying off. Often I have thought I am too confusing to understand myself. That confusion must translate into being too confusing for my viewers to understand, Perhaps a true journey in life is one toward simplification based upon enlightenment and insight. Life, after all, is in the moment., making life's work a simple endeavor. True living is being true to undeniable truths. When we accept our transient reality, which limits us into here and now, we live better, we are happier. We are mortal, we are here, we are now, we know in the moment. We build understanding with our monetary insights. These drawings, the ones I show today, are momentary insights. Consequently, these drawing are more lucid to me than anything I can remember in my oeuvre. Perhaps they will be more lucid to you, my viewers, as well.
 Drawing 05·19·2021, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I can smell it. I am not there yet. Like a dog, I am relentless till I unearth it. It will never be enough. One bone will never satisfy. One bone gets eaten, another is necessary. This is the path I am on. This drawing is one step.
 Drawing 05·18·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Nothing is straight forward. Everything is measured against a straight line. Things that are not straight get a second glance. This came yesterday's drawing.
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March 2025
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