The painting 2017 No.13 is solved, but not finished. Here comes the finesse. There are issues which must be resolved, although minor but important. One example is the black frame on the left. The actual image needs to expand to the left, so the black frame will diminish in width, i.e., the left black frame will (most likely) become one constant vertical bar. There are other minor alterations required. Best you just wait and see.
Yesterday's drawing was unusual in its purity. It makes me think of the work of Giorgio Morandi.
The crystallization of this painting, 2017 No.13, amazes me. With every alteration it moves toward simplicity and clarity. Wishes do not come true unless one works to fulfill them. I am working. Every day I wonder. Every day I look and ask. Every day I try to find more clarity, more simplicity, more authenticity, more truth. The amazement comes because the quest, the daily work, is resolving my confusion, my problems. My questions are continually renewed as I discover better answers. Endless it is.
I always make an effort to see everything at once. I try for universal comprehension. Instead, I get distracted by the ugliest deceit first, then I see the rest of my dishonesty, The floating ring in 2017 No.13 is gone! Yesterday the truth of its deceit hit me hard. After removing the circle I noticed the inappropriate blue flame-like shape (in the upper left). Now it glares at me with its fraudulence. It does not deserve to be there! Unfortunately I am capable of only one step at a time. This undermines my soul. It is personal deception. I was lying to myself and I did not know it. This is why I must live a very long life. It is going to take me a long time to correct all my missteps. Finding right is not a straight path. I want to do this right. I am obsessed. I want to stop messing up. I want to find the simplicity of living within truth.
Out of somewhere comes a border to the painting 2017 No.13. Yesterday I made an effort to find ground. I found a border after I found ground. Seeking is finding. Discovery occurs because of the search. Here it is... here it comes... ready or not!
My wondering today is about the coherency of image and surface. Yesterday's drawing is filled with forms. Mostly the forms sit near the front of this image's artifice of space. This bothers me. I want more. I want the space to be fully coherent. Forms against a white background do not resolve their position relative to the rest of the paper's plane. The paper, as automatic creator of an artificial space, must clearly identify its spatial concept, or the viewer feels deprived of the full reality of the image. If an image does not confirm the space it inhabits then the forms sit alone against blankness, nothingness. It is like making a jig-saw puzzle and leaving some pieces out. Satisfaction is incomplete if information is missing! Below, I show you the way Joan Miró handled this lack of background in one of his better works. Joan Miró sometimes placed the forms up front, while he disturbingly left the background blank. In Miró best works he forces the viewer to perceive the background as part of the composition, part of the overall image, part of the image's space. I am aware of this necessity, but like Miró, I sometimes get so enraptured by my forms that I forget full identification of their position within the spatial coherency of the total image.
The introspection immersed within my approach is constant. I worry about this. If approach has consistency, does it also contain habit and bias? There is an old saying, "If a hammer is the only thing one has, the entire world looks like a nail." If my habitual mind is all I have, do I approach everything with the same bias? I do believe there is revelation in both the painting and the drawing I show today. Process and progress are complicated problems. As much as I am making the effort to discover myself I making an effort to discover a process devoid of bias.
Where are you going my sweet young thing? Where I want? Perhaps, but more likely where you want to go. You choose. I follow. I will make it happen! My want is less important than your need. In the end, "want" and "need" may be the same? I am who you are. I just don't know it yet. Still learning. Yesterday's drawing surprises me as much as the painting. Figurative references, abstraction, playfulness? Absolutely!
No one knows where anything is going to be tomorrow; not me, not you, not anyone. Thus surprises my painting and my drawing! Here they come, revealing themselves to me. Discipline is recognition of authenticity. It is being there while being here. Thus comes the black dots in 2017 No.13. Surprised? I am! The same goes for that eye in yesterday's drawing. What was I thinking? Not going there!
I go in and out of hyper-trust of intuition. It seems natural that I must now hyper-discipline myself in order to assemble and utilize that which I have learned through intuitive trust. There is a fine balance where intuition and intellect work together to produce a product of great impact and authenticity. I am on the edge of that, but it will take discipline to get there. Yesterday's drawing was a small step. Now I must bring it to the painting that sits in front of me, 2017 No.13.
There is much I like about the current state of the painting 2017 No.13; there is much that discomforts me. I feel more insecure about the right side then the left side. Here, in reproduction, it looks better than it does in the studio. The left is not quite in sync with the right. It is atmospheric discord, as well as image discord. Most important, I am now optimistic. This painting will succeed!
Yesterday's drawing is testing my sight, my ability to see. Is that a hole in the center of the large, complex form on the right side of the drawing? Or is it a protrusion of something light in value? I don't know. I done care. In this case my intuition responds "yes" to this form's viability; in art-making affirmative intuition must be followed, even if it leads to failure. This manner of problem solving is OK in art-making, always leading to the discovery of correctness. This method is not always good in life. In life, sometimes one cannot go back and correct a gaffe. Art is about mistakes and failures leading to knowledge, leading to better art. This is not true in human relationships. People say and do things they cannot take back.
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