My great affection for art-making is related to its probability of complete immersion; when making something of high personal relevance nothing exists except me and the art-object. It is glorious! Yesterday's drawing went that way. You know it when you see it. Look at yesterday's drawing. Its impact is immediate. It is exceptional!
I wish everything I made felt this right. It is by confluence of multiple factors that I achieve activity as satisfying as the making of this drawing: great energy, emotional stability, depth of personal insight — it is perfection in balance and sensibility!
The more I practice art-making the more often I achieve this totally satisfying immersion. It is akin to the practice of meditation. The more one meditates the deeper the insight. Practiced well, these non-verbal pursuits are similar — art-making and meditation.
It ran away and I caught up with it. This process, the one I choose to engage, is an amazing, meditative, engrossing, fully capturing process. I am not the bold conqueror, imposing my will on the indigenous populace. My art appears mark by mark; I give into its desire to become whatever its wills to be. This one, yesterday's, is rather complicated. It took 12,638,947 marks of mine to become itself... psssst — just kidding — I did not count, but it felt like these marks just kept on being demanded; I completed each request until satisfaction occurred — not my choice).
My wonderment has extended itself! It is surprise! If I show up, without fail I encounter creativity. I simply seek the stuff that is self-truth. I go to the studio with no preconceived notion. Why am I here? Where am I? I look to the reason I meditate. The RAIN keeps falling: Recognize Emotions, Accept, Investigate, Non-Identify/Detach. My intellectual confusion has given into my deeper self. I do recognize my emotions, I accept them as valid, I investigative them through art-making. Then I step back and look. Being detached is not going well. I do identify with the images I am making. They are being made because I am intellectually detached. My images appear. They are mine. They are me. Now, what do I do?
The painting 2018 No.2 took a big step yesterday. This is a relief. After viewing its first state I wondered if I had lost myself in my earthly activities, i.e., exhibiting in Brooklyn. I am rescued. Yesterday's drawing was made by self wonder. It flowed out of me; I gave into its demands.
Yesterday's drawing is me relaxing into simple give and take. It was like falling down a vortex, not planning, just reacting, not thinking too much, just following the flow and what it demanded in order for this drawing to balance itself. Is this a good drawing? I think so. I did not push for revelation. It felt good in the making because it was meditation. I did not expect anything from it. Its needs were satisfied. Like feeding a dog. I love dogs. Perhaps I love this drawing.
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