 Drawing 07·17·2020 No.1, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches  Drawing 07·17·2020 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Continuity of methodology is a good thing when there is no methodology at all. No preconception made these drawings, no bias, unless you count the use of a rectangle of paper as a preconceived choice, which (of course) it is. The torture that is the difficulty of being within the moment, rather than dwelling on the pleasures that are assuredly accessible from the litany that is learned experience, never stops. In the end, if attendance to the moment is complete, suffering the moment becomes no suffering at all; it becomes simply that which is, that which is without anything except one's presence.
 Drawing 06·04·2020, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  "Amidst a Falling World" (2020 No.3, state 08), oil on canvas, 66¼x55½ inches {"Should the whole frame of nature around him break, In ruin and confusion hurled, He, unconcerned, would hear the mighty crack, And stand secure amidst a falling world." - Horace (65-8BC), "Odes", book 3, no.4, I.52)} If I am to solve this, I am required to give into instinct and intuition. Proper and correct causes confusion. Logic is an enemy; it relies upon experience. Logic is inherently biased. I will continue to use my knowledge of Art History, and the knowledge and skill I have work so hard and long to acquire. I will, however, temper my simple, intellectual knowing, with my deeper intuitive knowing.
The activity on yesterday's drawing and painting did move me forward. They solidly accept the reality of classical composition, while exhibiting my struggle to throw my worries and concerns in the face of the viewer.  Drawing 03·26·2020, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 03·24·2020 (state 2), pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I hate bias. Being biased means no original ideas. An excellent artist must be open to original ideas. Anything creative requires openness. Successful problem solving requires receptiveness. My art-making is open to everything I have seen, the mistakes I have made, and my successes. I do not take any idea as gospel truth. I try the untried.
I finished the drawing began on 3/24/2020; I create a new one. I am working hard to weed out bias. Perhaps no artwork is fully successful; nevertheless there is truth in bits, pieces, and places. It is my job to pick up the truths, recognize those bits, work toward excellence and authenticity. I am watching a country being hurt by bias. Wrought by political morass, our nation is in a state of disease. Bad ideas matter; they slow the process of problem solving. Bias is not precluded by saying things like "I am a successful person," "I am a stable genius," "Drain the swamp!" I make art because I wish to dismiss idiocy. Spouting bias, incorrectness, is not helpful. Our Covid-19 problem will be solved. It will be solved by the many of us who are working in earnest to solve without bias; in other words, creatively. I am optimistic. We will get through this. There is force of true intelligence within us. True solutions will win. Happy days are ahead. We are slogging toward a better world, one good idea by one good idea.  Drawing 09·26·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I am startled. Everything looks new. I cannot repeat myself because I am here, not there, nowhere but here. My practice of mindfulness is kicking in. Still a struggle; I am closer than ever. There is contrariness in me. I say one thing, then I give recognition to the past; a past I claim I am unable to repeat. I am wary of the past. The past is somewhat delusional. I am working to remove delusion. Bias is always present. Recognition of truth is confusing because bias presents itself like speed bumps; always present, effort is required to avoid. My work is selecting the few clean stones from the slightly tarnished ones. Not easy! Renewal is required. Bias is an enemy. Practice and work are required.
Yesterday's drawing finds truth in its marks. It did not come as easily, with as much conviction, as Drawing 09·25·2019 No.3. Conviction confusion questions quality. Not to worry; today brings renewal.  "2017 No.13" (state 9), oil on canvas, 56x65 inches  Drawing 10·15·2017, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches The introspection immersed within my approach is constant. I worry about this. If approach has consistency, does it also contain habit and bias? There is an old saying, "If a hammer is the only thing one has, the entire world looks like a nail." If my habitual mind is all I have, do I approach everything with the same bias? I do believe there is revelation in both the painting and the drawing I show today. Process and progress are complicated problems. As much as I am making the effort to discover myself I making an effort to discover a process devoid of bias.
  Sometimes I think it would be easier to be overwhelmed by bias. In that way I would feel like I knew what I was doing. Bias would make me strong, vital, and absolute. No such stuff in the cards for me! Every day I make stuff that surprises me. Who am I? Trying to answer this question is the reason I make art. This query is universal among artists for whom I feel deep fondness. As example I give you a painting by Paul Gauguin (please note the title).  Paul Gauguin, "Where Do We Come From? What are We? Where Are We Going", oil on canvas, 55x147 inches, 1897  "2017 No.9" (state 4), oil on canvas, 59.25x54.5 inches Art-making is more about management than predictability. It is being a host, akin to being within a swarm of gnats on a hot, humid summer day. Ideas are in front of me, within me. All I can do is squirm. Try to make it better. Such is problem solving. No bias allowed. Accept all questions as valid. Manage till current knowledge is exhausted. Call it quits when no path forward is understood. This painting, 2017 No.9, is not done. The questions it asks are important. I will not leave it till I lose track of its self-inflicted strategy. Yesterday's drawing came directly. It is a sweet spot that has the aura of comfort in knowledge. It was enjoyable to make.  Drawing 05·18·2017, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  "2016 No.15" (state 4), oil on canvas, 69x52" Playing the fool is admirable if it produces surprise and wonder coupled with actual and substantial self-discovery. At least, that is my thesis for today. Self-discovery hopefully leads to self-knowledge. In other words, I am jumping into artistic territory I do not fully comprehend. This is necessary, but it also yells at me to be cautious. So I ask, "Am I squandering? Am I misspending, frittering away my time-limited life?" I am going to go with, "No!" For now, this feels the right answer. Yesterday's painting, and yesterday's drawing, play with color, space, texture, form, and space. Both are light filled renditions with three-dimensional spatial definition. Production relied upon my intuitive feel in utilizing the commonly defined "Elements of Art". I am not going to question my success or failure. This is me, the fool jumping in. Working this way does feel exhilarating to me, despite my lacking full intellectual understanding. Perhaps, by writing this, I am being a fool. After all, isn't the manner of work I describe here the normal artistic process? It is researching possible solutions without bias.  Drawing 08·23·2016, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches |
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