Usually I show the painting I did yesterday first, then the drawing. Not today! I find the newest state of "Crazy Love" problematical. It is in need of repair. Thus the drawing first, which is a good one.
"Crazy Love" is going through a grand transition, as am I. I am coming to terms with the figurative impetus of my soul, mixed as it is with a visually abstract, non-concrete universe. Yesterday's drawing began as a study for "Crazy Love", but it quickly took its own direction. Two remnants in yesterday's drawing refer to "Crazy Love". They are the heart and the distorted, ex-body head. The current ex-body head will be substantially repainted. I am also imagining (during this writing) the appearance of a second head in the bottom right quadrant.
The painting Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014 took a good turn, but the left panel continues to be awkwardly out of sync. In the left panel the upper right section, with its orange base and areas of yellow, is maladroit, clumsy, and out of place. I can see it becoming a linear pattern, perhaps a mirror image of the line pattern found in the right panel's upper right rectangle.
Yesterday's drawing came easy despite it sophistication. It took two to three hours of manufacture time. Complex images, spilling onto the paper more quickly, is a good thing. The success of this activity readies me for better things to come. It bolsters my confidence. The willingness to risk new directions is a consequence. It brings with it the belief I can find a way to make my confused impulses work on paper and canvas.
Yes, I am back painting after a week away from it. Last weekend I was at a family gathering. My nephew reminded me of a drawing from my past. I revisited that drawing yesterday by undertaking the same subject matter. I feel yesterday's result pales compared to the original. It lacks the imaginative impulse which created the first version. Yesterday's version is well drawn, yet proves you can't go back to the past looking for present day inspiration. I am a different person now. If the two drawings were compared, past and present, they would be descriptive of me then versus me now.
I did not spend a lot of time painting, as yesterday's drawing is large and took several hours to complete. However, I re-established contact with where I am artistically. There will be more painting today.
I see it, and I believe it. More and more glimpses of the possible are showing up in my work. As usual, my drawing leads my painting in its risk taking and, therefore, its discoveries. The drawing posted today does good stuff because I felt my way through it and did not resort to the stop and go of intellectual debate. This happened throughout this drawing. This is the process that is opening the cracks through which I see enormously surprising possibilities. By "possibilities" I mean the potential of my work to visually render that which I know and feel, and that which I wish to unravel and know.
Lately I have been leaving you will quite a few "relevant" quotations. Here's one more from Leonard Cohen's song, Anthem:
Ring the bells that still can ring ...
“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”
Dr. Seuss was a great favorite of mine in childhood, and apparently his influence has not left me. I think today I will begin a drawing with "a shoe on a wall."
Take from it what you will, and so shall I... The lyrics to the Elvis Presley song (below) have something to do with me and the search in which I find myself engaged.
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
I am not quite sure where I am or where I am going, but writing about it will not help. I need to keep making images. Today I will be back at it again.
Perfect reproduction of a drawing is not achievable (duh!). Both reproductions do not do their originals full justice, but surprisingly the one above (03·15·2013), the more sophisticated of the two, comes off closer to its original. More importantly, these drawings exhibit an openness to self-discovery and the natural impulse that drives my art-making. The language found in these drawings is an indication to me that I have a real possibility of finding my true voice. Wow, the wonder of it all!
The size of my paper and canvas have a rather large impact on the look and feel of my art. The drawing below is cramped compared to the drawings shown in the previous two posts. This because it is on 11 X 14 inch paper, while the others were on 16 X 20 inch paper. The painting shown above is on 42 X 56 inch canvas, while most of my recent paintings have been 52 X 60 inch canvases. Again, the painting shown above feels uncomfortably restricted compared to my other recent and larger canvases. In fact, if I am going to be able to deal with the space I want to create to express myself more adequately I feel I must go even larger in my paintings (I have stretchers for 60 X 72 inch canvases).
Trust in one's impulses takes time to develop. Well here I, signed, sealed, and delivered, I'm yours; one step forward after half of one back. Hanging in there, moving toward greater authenticity, is a constant struggle. I have to eat my oats, stay healthy, show up, believe in the truth, act appropriately. Four more hours to come today in the studio, but already I feel the fear. Can I, will I, act on this painting (02·26·2013, state #4) and move it to state #5 ??? We shall see.
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