 "Burnt Norton" (2018 No.8, state 18), oil on canvas, 63x66 inches {"What might have been is an abstraction; Remaining a perpetual possibility; Only in a world of speculation. What might have been and what has been point to one end, which is always present. Footfalls echo in the memory." -T.S. Eliot, "Burnt Norton"} This painting is the opposite of everything useless and tedious and repetitive, which is much of the news in our world today. When reading the news I ask myself, "Where is all this falderal going?" Well, it is not going where this painting, Burnt Norton, is going. This is a successful painting; it is becoming more successful with every alteration I make. Burnt Norton, as seen here in reproduction, needs one last tweak. Oh, oh! This is the happiness of being an artist; being in control of one's own creations!
 Drawing 10·21·2018, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I got a little derailed by a health scare last week. It wasn't true and I am as good as ever. Mortality is very scary. So is underperformance. I want to be the best I can be. This drawing is a good one; made while I was scared. Focusing on art clarifies; it reveals truth. The most basic truth is Now is a joyous gift to celebrate. Celebration is the action of seeking truth; art-making is analogous to truth-making. The truth is found in the doing, since truthfulness is known by the doer as it is done. Art-making is weeding out truth by the act of acceptance and rejection. In other words, making art is a discipline that is the practice of truth-making, which is practicing truthfulness, and practicing truthfulness is universally helpful to every encounter by a living spirit. Practicing truthfulness instructs the living spirit on how to accurately recognize truth, to live truth, to communicate truth. Finally, accepting my mortality has focussed me; I accept my task as I know it — seeking truth by making art.
For a long time I have been playing with the means to accurate reproduction here on the web. I am happy with today's reproduction of yesterday's drawing. That's a first!  "Burnt Norton" (2018 No.8, state 14), oil on canvas, 63x66 inches {"What might have been is an abstraction; Remaining a perpetual possibility; Only in a world of speculation. What might have been and what has been point to one end, which is always present. Footfalls echo in the memory." -T.S. Eliot, "Burnt Norton"}  Drawing 10·11·2018, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches As my work becomes more sophisticated it is more difficult to reproduce adequately. Yesterday's drawing is richly textured. Its many marks produce a nuanced value structure. This value structure requires special care to produce correctly for viewers here; this fails, even with special care for this drawing's gradations in shading. Remember, I draw with pencil; grey can go anywhere from low value to black. Some lower value grey plays wonderfully against blackness produced by me baring down with strong firmness.
Burnt Norton continues its journey; slow, yet reassuringly confident.  "Weoman" (2018 No.3; state 11), oil on canvas, 43x48 inches ("I could not get a rhyme for Roman, And was obliged to call it Weoman." -Marjorie Fleming, "Sonnet")  Drawing 06·08·2018, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches There are mixed-emotions when a painting is called "finished." Weoman has reached that place. After eleven states, Weoman is "done." A painting in process is a thrilling relationship; similar to the process of getting to know a new acquaintance. Similar to a relationship with a soon to be valued friend; it never ends. Paintings do get called "complete." This does not happen with a valued friend. Like a good friend, a good painting will instruct forever, upon every re-visit. A completed painting is static in its elements; a good friend is never static in any way. The happy part of calling a painting "finished" is the consequential opening of space and time to begin a new painting, a new journey, with all the excitement that is inherent in getting to know a new acquaintance.
The drawing shown today has gray reproduced on its ground, which is not true in the real drawing on Stonehenge WHITE paper.  Drawing 06·07·2018, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches This is an amazing drawing. It is amazing in its queries, its discoveries, and in its value nuance. But those qualities ain't seen here! I tried for well over 20 minutes to reproduce it accurately, as seen in real light in the real world. I failed, miserably! Giving up, I show it in the manner seen here. I show this drawing along with this cautionary tale: Please realize there is a lesson in life here. Life lived cannot be reproduced accurately. We make films, we produce plays, we write novels, we write poems and essays, i.e. we make art. Art is a reflection of the authenticity that is living. Art is an effort to reproduce the authority that is living. Art fails as accurate reproduction of things experience in form, in emotions, in intellect. Therefore, my failure to reproduce this drawing well is (Failure) X (Failure) = Failure-squared!
 "Weoman" (2018 No.3; state 5), oil on canvas, 35x42 inches ("I could not get a rhyme for Roman, And was obliged to call it Weoman." -Marjorie Fleming, "Sonnet")  Drawing 05·23·2018, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches This time in reproduction I will let it go: The ground on the reproduction of yesterday's drawing is gray, not white, but (in reality) it is white. I use a very white 100% cotton rag paper (Stonehenge White). However, if I force this reproduction to have a white ground it appears harsher in contrast than it really is. So, I am accepting gray.
Weoman is in its 5th state. The wonder is the appearance of a solution. I have great fear when I begin a painting (Picasso said, "There is nothing in this world as scary as a white canvas!"). The reason for this is fear of inadequacy, inability, lack of talent, loss of mental acuity; All of that! Well, wonder it is that solutions do occur and I am the one making it so.  "Weoman" (2018 No.3; state 3), oil on canvas, 35x42 inches ("I could not get a rhyme for Roman, And was obliged to call it Weoman." -Marjorie Fleming, "Sonnet")  Drawing 05·20·2018, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I had a dream. Its title was Collifocks & Hammers. What??? As mysterious as that is, so am I. Yesterday's drawing is absolutely marvelous. The reproduction here does not represent it well. Remember, I work in pencil on paper; trying to make the grays and whites and the darks (maximum pencil push) reproduce well, is impossible. The true and extreme nuance is simply lost in translation.
The painting Weoman (2018 No.3) is taking a marvelous turn. Marvel it is because I can see it coming; perhaps you cannot. Three-dimensional space is being created, summoned; during its next debate its depth will increase. The bottom left is asking for a plunge forward. It will be solved. Please continue to watch it unravel.  "Catch-22" (2018 No.2; state 4), oil on canvas, 42x48 inches ("If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to."}  Drawing 05·15·2018, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Rarely do I post on the same day as the making. Today I found trust, trustworthy instincts were present; it was a dumpster diving day! I dove, despite feeling I did not know what was there to find. I am writing about the painting, Catch-22; it lived up to its name today. At first I didn't want to touch it, but if I was sane I had to jump, trusting I could fly well. Catch-22 is almost complete. This is welcome because I have many ideas; completing Catch-22 will allow me to start a new painting tomorrow. Reproducing today's state of Catch-22 is for tomorrow propitious. I see in this reproduction an important problem that needs fixing. They are the nearly vertical, slight diagonal lines in the extreme upper left and right; they need to be parallel to one another. When those two lines become parallel they will create a background wall between them; all other forms will sit forward of this "wall." It shall be splendid!
Today's drawing, made by trusted instincts, sings nicely too.  "2017 No.14" (state 7), oil on canvas, 47x44 inches   The painting 2017 No.14 is becoming increasingly difficult to reproduce well. There is no way a painting in person can look like a painting on a screen or in a book or on a magazine page. There ain't nothin' like the real. The only thing obvious to me is my involvement with this painting. It has gone up and will be sustained till end. I will work on it again today. I have a mission, and it feels good.
Yesterday's drawings continue my quest for messages more directly engaging to the viewer. This I am trying to find through more simple relationships of forms to one another and forms to ground. Something new does appear in drawing No.2. I used my finger to smudge the graphite of the pencil behind the form on the left. This increased its light-filled contrast, pushing the form's sphericalness hard and clear.  Drawing 12·19·2017, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches There are multifarious ends facing me. One has immediacy. The idea of my mortality and eventual silence is the scariest. My here & now involvement in the End of the Year celebrations, and holidays, is the most demanding. I am a social animal, as well as a spiritual/Intellectual/emotional one. I have family. I have myself. Conflicts arise and overwhelm. Particularly at this time of the year, during this particular Ending. The process is not pretty; perhaps the outcome will be. I am trying to make here & now work well for me and for the people in my life, friends and family. I need generous amounts of time in the studio to feel comfortable with myself. Recently that time has been compromised, reduced by the many preparations to celebrate. Hopefully the celebrations will diminish my conflicts. Best I can expect is my memory will be altered by their success. I hope good memories will not make them too ugly to repeat.
Yesterday I made one drawing in one hour. It is informative. I want to pursue the simplicity of its central form. Soon a painting will come that takes this simplicity as most important. Look at the painting 2017 No.13 in reproduction. It is difficult to see it well in this small form. In the studio this painting sings. It is large, a width of 71 inches (180 cm). There are also problems in reproducing color and value. I made a postcard of 2017 No.13; its image looks cramped in a 5x7 inch format. To get attention, for people to wish to explore my art more fully, more correctly, and in person, I have to get their attention. This will be done best if I make a few works that reproduce well in small formats, such as on a 5x7 inch postcard... always nice to have a new goal. |
To read my profile go to MEHRBACH.com.
At MEHRBACH.com you may view many of my paintings and drawings, past and present, and see details about my life and work. Archives
December 2018
|
RSS Feed