 "Gunfire Across My Consciousness" (2019 No.5, state 10), oil on canvas, 48.5x32.5 inches {"My mind is just like a spin-dryer at full speed; my thoughts fly around my skull... Images gunfire across my consciousness... I jump in awe at the soul-filled bounty of my mind's expanse." -Christopher Nolan, Irish Writer on his reasons for writing "The Eye of the Clock", in November 8, 1987 "Observer"}  Drawing 11·24·2019, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches There is something magical and emotional about the negative. Forms dominate both the drawing and the painting in today's post, but it is the negative, the areas without form, that sing in emotional stress. The forms punch out of the negative, speak loudly in positive voices. Consequently the forms punch enthusiastically, in and out they go, undeniable they are. This would, and could, not happen without astute realization of negative spaces. I believe yesterday's drawing is one of my most fully realized. It was born in mindfulness. Its exudes delicate interaction between individual forms, forms against one another, forms against ground. Elegant they are, both painting and drawing, both are loudly original, loudly me!
 Drawing 11·23·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches Does it bother you? There is an open (negative) space in the upper left of this drawing. Compositionally, it works! Is that enough? Spatially it may be difficult to read. I am unsure. This drawing is thick with pencil marks. I followed it to this conclusion, but methinks it asks as many questions as it answers.
 "Sentence" (2019 No.4, state 13), oil on canvas, 38.5x62.5 inches {"And you’d spend years trying to decipher the sentence, until finally you’d understand it. But after a while you’d realize you got it wrong, and the sentence meant something else entirely." - Tadeusz Dąbrowski, from the poem "Sentence"}  Drawing 11·20·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches Today I will let my work speak for itself. These are undeniably excellent. The painting, "Sentence" (2019 No.4), is very near completion.
 "Sentence" (2019 No.4, state 12), oil on canvas, 38.5x62.5 inches {"And you’d spend years trying to decipher the sentence, until finally you’d understand it. But after a while you’d realize you got it wrong, and the sentence meant something else entirely." - Tadeusz Dąbrowski, from the poem "Sentence"}  Drawing 11·17·2019 (state 2 - FINAL), pencil on paper, 20x16 inches If you wish to see a dramatic clarification of the drawing began 11/17/2019, open two windows on your web browser, then go back and forth, from the version (published yesterday) to the final version (published today). This drawing is of extreme high quality, yet I worry, "Too complex?" Ashille Gorky worried much the same. As Gorky's work moved to maturity his compositions became more dense, more difficult for the casual viewer to comprehend. In Drawing 11·17·2019 I try to give the viewer relief from its complexity in the upper, more open half, of the composition. Gorky did this too, but in a much different manner. I believe density is felt more astutely when contrasted by simpler areas of the composition. The painting, "Sentence", is moving nicely toward completion.  Arshile Gorky, "Untitled", 1944  Arshille Gorky, "Summation", 1947  Drawing 11·17·2019 (incomplete, state 1), pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Here is State 1 of a drawing I will finish today. This drawing is complex, emotional, skillful, intellectually satisfying, very wonderful; but incomplete. Return tomorrow to its finality.
 Drawing 11·14·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I am no longer able to behave badly. Even when I try to risk everything I end up with stuff like this. Organization and clarity have been beaten deep within me; I cannot resist moving toward solutions that call out with a spirit of self-realization. Here it is, yesterday's drawing. I intended to make a quick study, then move on to finishing the painting "Sentence" (2019 No.4). Instead I got locked here, into the force of my own creation. Drawing has become a mindful and mediative experience, dictated by depths that must be intellectual, but are nowhere near out-loud knowing. These come as forces of nature; they become themselves by themselves. I just show up to move the pencil on the paper.
I believe this will occur in my painting as well, but I am not there yet.  "Gunfire Across My Consciousness" (2019 No.5, state 9), oil on canvas, 48.5x32.5 inches {"My mind is just like a spin-dryer at full speed; my thoughts fly around my skull... Images gunfire across my consciousness... I jump in awe at the soul-filled bounty of my mind's expanse." -Christopher Nolan, Irish Writer on his reasons for writing "The Eye of the Clock", in November 8, 1987 "Observer"} Methinks this may be done; I am writing about "Gunfire Across My Consciousness", which was started in a flurry of ideas, then bogged into questions with slow answers, and is now coming together in a time of security in knowledge and emotions. I feel good! I believe "Gunfire Across My Consciousness" is a very good painting.
This brings me to the mystery of my creative life. I go through periods when I feel lost, feel very alone; I despair that time and ideas are not great enough. Right now I feel the opposite. I believe I know what I am doing; I just have to show up to get it done. Creativity is cyclical, as are the intellectual and emotional structures in living.  Drawing 11·12·2019, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches This is a tremendous drawing in many spectacular ways. Seeing it authentically, in person, is an awesome experience. I hopped through it. Its making was a prodigious adventure from beginning till end, uplifting in feelings, a great expression of skill!
 "Gunfire Across My Consciousness" (2019 No.5, state 8), oil on canvas, 48.5x32.5 inches {"My mind is just like a spin-dryer at full speed; my thoughts fly around my skull... Images gunfire across my consciousness... I jump in awe at the soul-filled bounty of my mind's expanse." -Christopher Nolan, Irish Writer on his reasons for writing "The Eye of the Clock", in November 8, 1987 "Observer"} Working on perceptions, one day at a time, one perception at a time, absorbing, then reacting to perceived questions, whether true or false; this is the way to build wealth. It is an uphill journey. Stepping, stumbling, but overall gaining. Higher I go; this journey needs health as well as wealth. The painting I did yesterday was revelatory. Some doubts were quenched, my gains are real, I found happiness in my ability to do this. "Gunfire Across My Consciousness" is almost complete. All the drawing I have recently has led me to believe that truth can be found.
 Drawing 11·09·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches Yesterday's drawing is highly successful. T.S. Eliot's view of the artist, as dispassionate onlooker of passionate construction, is cathartic. The piece I show today is this. Me, the artist, administered till the drawing fulfilled its destiny. It bobs and rhymes and sings a tune full of rhythm, depth, volume, and quiet self-declaration. In endless satisfaction the viewer can move through it; this drawing gives as much as the viewer gives. This drawing is responsive. This drawing allows pleasurable consummation; the viewer need only commit to enjoying the world it presents.
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February 2020
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