 Drawing 05·29·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches This drawing took a lot of time, hours and hours. Sometimes I know everything feels very difficult during the process of making art, I can't quite get things to jive, or feel like they jive. Yesterday was one of those times. I know I am erratic in my self-acceptance, Perhaps this is a great drawing. Perhaps I had difficulty sorting out truth because I had so much flowing through my head; recent work, recent successes, and recent questions, some answered well, some not so well. In any case, it is days like this that I know problem solving is not a straight line, but a spiraling loop. On my problem solving way I experience erratic emotions. Elation and despair, discomfort and self-confidence; various emotions occur from day to day. Comfort is impossible to sustain.
 "2017 No.14" (state 12), oil on canvas, 47x44 inches Dispelling confusion is as simple as satisfying hunger. Knowing this idea is not enough. One has to know the specifics of one's hunger, i.e., the dish one prefers to eat day after day. I have not been meticulous. I should have diligently followed my appetite. I am now amplifying it. I am focusing on establishing one potent spice in every one of my meals. This painting, 2017 No.14, is me turning a corner. I am accepting my basic need is not form, but light. Making it seen on canvas (and paper) has not come quickly. It is coming. I am recognizing my basic hunger. My appetite prefers to be satisfied by a meal of light intense.  Inspirational Photo, January 14, 2018  Drawing 01·09·2018, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches My current BIGGEST worry: Complexity will overwhelm my viewers. Yesterday it appeared full force. The drawing I show today is hyper-complex. I tried to make its complexity easier on the eye by structuring the composition through diagonals, both repetitive and in contrast to one another. The contrast results in triangles, created by linear opposition in some of those diagonals. I believe it works well. This was not an easy drawing to make. It came hard and long: several hours. Most interesting to me is this: through instantaneous inspiration I discovered I did not always have to make representational references which make sense to our real world educated eyes. I allowed for education to occur through manipulation. Perhaps this is a political statement. I am forcing the viewer to see it my way. My dogma must be respected when the viewer walks into my country! Today I will try one more new thing. The real world is my inspiration. I thought I might make a daily effort to photograph one inspirational image from my real world. I am not promising this will occur forever, but here is my first effort. If it works well for me, and works well for you, it will continue. In today's "Inspirational Real World Image" you can see an arc-like shadow on the snow. In my drawings and paintings I sometimes manipulate the ground in ways similar to this real-world image. Often I force the viewer to feel ground that is not flat, but curved, warped, bent, deformed, crooked, misshapen, and irregular.  Inspirational Real World Image of January 9, 2018  "2016 No.8" (state 1), oil on canvas, 69x36 inches My newest painting, "2016 No.8", began with paint called "Torrit Grey", made by Gamblin. The paint was a free add-on to a recent order of brushes and canvas. Curiously Torrit Grey's pigments are listed as "ALL", the fine print saying its pigments were gathered from the factory's air filtration system. Curiously, it is not grey, it is brown, as seen in today's reproduction of "2016 No.8". Yesterday was a good day. I am moving quickly toward freedom in three-dimensional abstraction, separating from the visual reality of our real world, but dependent on how we see light, color, and form. This is beginning to make intuitive sense to me. It feels right. Composition is outshining reality, yet the reality of shadow, light, and form are there to play with, to compose with, to emote with. Yesterday's drawings explore this too. The space is compressed, but open to the possibility of deeper artifice of space.     Drawings from 11/29/2015, pencil on paper, 16X20 inches I have surprised myself with new images, and also the joy of laying down graphite on a textured surface. The paper is the same paper used in yesterday's drawing. The images are vastly different. From where come these images? One possible connection: Yesterday a photo was sent to me by a friend (in an email I opened before going to the studio). The photo shows a strange room in Silicon Valley with people walking amongst floating spheres. The spheres are white with black circles on them (the ceiling, floor, and wall are red with black circles). Unlike my drawings, the spheres do not inhabit the people (people are walking among the spheres). Influence? Perhaps. Most important is my product. These drawings are different than anything I have produced in recent memory. They started differently, were processed differently, and ended differently. I am exhilarated by their inventiveness.
A note about today's reproductions: Both drawing are on the same textured paper. The paper's surface color on the first drawing is closer to its actual color. I did not white balance my camera prior to photographing the second drawing, nor did I change the lighting.  "Wowie" (state 11 of Painting-10·11·2015), oil on canvas, 52X60 inches Creativity comes like an itch. It appears, demands attention. Perhaps there is a scientific explanation behind its comings, but not for me to care. The head of the bird is now acceptable. I can also report, for a second or two, I thought I might change the title of "Wowie" to "Alfred". "Alfred" because the silhouette of the man in "Wowie" reminds me of Alfred Hitchcock's silhouette in the opening of his TV Show, "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" (see image at end of post).   Drawings from 11/17/2015, both pencil on paper, 16X20 inches  Alfred Hitchcock's silhouette, flipped horizontally  "Wowie" (state 5 of Painting-10·11·2015), oil on canvas, 52X60 inches Intelligent is not enough. Inspired is not enough. Emotionally sensitive is not enough. To be a true work of art, to be relevant, a painting has to contain all of the mentioned qualities. Of course, this is true for drawings too.   Drawings from 11/04/2015, both pencil on paper, 20X16 inches
 "Flame" (Painting-06·24·2015, state 1), oil on canvas, 52X60 inches It can be a problem to be too serious in an existence that has its mystery of reason. Giving up being "serious" equates to making sense of "Why am I here?". This is important if clarity in personal vision is important. Since I believe clarity of personal vision is important, I will follow this formula: questions succeeded by possible answers. I am able to extract a sense that it is reasonable to exist because I am examining my questions by manufacturing possible answers.   Drawings from 06/24/2015, both are pencil on paper, 16X20 inches
  Drawings from 06/23/2015, both are pencil on paper, 16X20 inches If there is anything which defines my most recent activity, it is my desire to immerse myself in personal inspiration. This has taken the edge off my aspiration to become an important artist. In the past, important, to me, meant engaging a wide populace of viewers. I have stopped worrying about that, and I have begun to worry about self-relevancy. Yes, one worry has all but disappeared and is being fully replaced by another. So maybe today's title is wrongly conceived. I am in the midst of replacing my aspiration to be relevant to many to being relevant to myself.
Yesterday's drawing are important drawings, i.e. they are important to me.  "Lava" (Painting-05·03·2015, state 4), oil on canvas, 52X60 inches Be sure to click on the drawings' reproductions for enlarged images. These are very good drawings! The surprise of "now for something completely different" is upon me. I do know what each drawing will bring. These drawings are discoveries made visual. I have given into the flow. As trite as this looks when written, it is reality.   Drawings from 5/16/2015, pencil on paper, 16X20 inches
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September 2021
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