It is getting scary. The drawing I present today is undeniably deep and profound. That's the scary part. This drawing's in-your-face centerness insists you look, not look away. When is scope and depth undeniable? Take a look at Alberto Giacometti's "Diego" (below). That is one answer in addition to the one I give you in my drawing. Look and hang; you will discover yourself.
I have thinking about the all-over design of the things. My first thought in making the last couple drawings, and the last painting, was about the all-overness of the design. I began yesterday's drawing (the one shown today), with all-over touches of the pencil. This forced me to deal with every aspect of the blank, white paper in front of me; I think successfully. This drawing is dramatic, referential, abstract, well composed, and insists upon the viewer's center stare while begging for the viewer's eye to wander in lust. The black areas dart around the paper, and the lighter value areas are systematically, strategically packed; this makes for easy visual comprehension of the total design while dwelling on the all-over.
Enough already! Getting the reproduction of the painting, "Find a Man", to accurately resemble the actual painting was impossible. Maybe it is the photograph. Maybe it is the painting. I will take a good look today.
Yesterday's drawing is admirable good, reproduces well.
I continue to question with answers. Is this drawing too simple to be profound enough for my liking? I place it in my studio, I peruse it, I mull upon it, I contemplate and wonder. No answer from me yet.
Too simple? Too complex? Too simple? Too Complex? Yes, but... I don't think either "too simple"or "too complex" is true if composition centers the answer. My goal is make my art impossible to look away. Thus, I go back and forth, simple, complex, simple, et cetera; testing and researching. Look at yesterday's post to see what I mean.
Today's drawing may have a touch of both simple and complex. It is definitely a limited affair compared to the drawing I posted yesterday.
My work in this world is pushing, shoving, digging, unearthing. I work, I seek, I find. I believe I am getting better, better all the time, because I am better at following clues, following my nose. Bit by bit I unearth truth revealed as circumstance; each circumstance is built on years of my experiential living, and years of work by those who came before. I am a participant in a cultural revelation, which sometimes feels like a cultural revolution. I do believe we can become who we are meant to be. This journey is instigated by a destination unrealized. I have found a foundation. My work is to construct upon that foundation, one block at a time, one step at a time. Today I give you one step along my way.
Struggling is not new to me. In fact, it is preferred. If I am not struggling I am not reviewing the edges of my consciousness, edges of my intellect, edges of my emotions. This painting, "Find a Man", is testing all of the above. This is me finding my roots, and the extensiveness of my personal landscape.
Am I there yet? No! That is an accepted impossible. "Find a Man" is on my journey; a journey to better understanding. The superlative, best, will never be obtained. As long as I work I will always become better, but I will never become best.
Not there yet... more work to be done on "Find a Man". This is good work. This work elevates me. I imagine I must look like a college football player during a game; alert, on guard, ready to make instantaneous decisions... that is how I feel when I am making art.
On his deathbed, at 88 years of age, Michelangelo complained, "Why must I go now? I am just learning the alphabet of my profession." I do worry. I seek perfect clarity. What I seek is better proclaimed as pellucidity. Pellucidity is difficult, if not impossible, to achieve in one's lifetime. Pellucidity is defined as "lucid in style or meaning; easily understood." I strive to be lucid. I make Art. Always I walk away from my products knowing full success has not quite been achieved, Yes, but... I can, and I must, become pellucid.
Yesterday's drawing was better than the two that preceded it. Is it perfect, correct, pellucid? No way! Today I go back in search of my clarity. I seek intellectual and emotional pellucidity. I want pellucidity to inhabit my works of Art.
Self-ridicule should be treasured. This occurred yesterday, to me... You can see it my self-ridicule in my silly journey through three states of Drawing 09·16·2021. None of them is perfect. None of them is worthy of full blown exhibition. I show them as self-ridicule. What was I thinking?
After the drawing I had made on the previous day (see it in this blog's previous post), I wanted to return to simple and direct. I deluded myself by working hard with on Drawing 09·16·2021. Arguably, state 3 is the best of the three. Who cares? Not me! Except, I do believe, as I always convince myself to believe, this failure is a lesson learned. I see. I know I went wrong. Today is a new day; I will be back at it again.
Yesterday's state 6 of "Find a Man" is better than state 5. This does embolden my ego, damaged by the ridiculous, wayward journey I experienced with Drawing 09·16·2021.
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