My wonderment has extended itself! It is surprise! If I show up, without fail I encounter creativity. I simply seek the stuff that is self-truth. I go to the studio with no preconceived notion. Why am I here? Where am I? I look to the reason I meditate. The RAIN keeps falling: Recognize Emotions, Accept, Investigate, Non-Identify/Detach. My intellectual confusion has given into my deeper self. I do recognize my emotions, I accept them as valid, I investigative them through art-making. Then I step back and look. Being detached is not going well. I do identify with the images I am making. They are being made because I am intellectually detached. My images appear. They are mine. They are me. Now, what do I do?
The painting 2018 No.2 took a big step yesterday. This is a relief. After viewing its first state I wondered if I had lost myself in my earthly activities, i.e., exhibiting in Brooklyn. I am rescued. Yesterday's drawing was made by self wonder. It flowed out of me; I gave into its demands.
Running hard is not easy if one has been involved in showing rather than making. I feel rusty. That won't last long. Yesterday's work is very good; It just feels a little detached. Is this me? Yesterday's drawing is exuberant; it has the hard quality of contrast and space that I crave. This is not so true for yesterday's painting. I did fulfill a promise by beginning this painting, i.e., it is smaller than ones I have been doing over the last year. Consequently it will go faster. This is good for my introspective needs. It will also help me shake of this feeling of rust on the brain. Absence does make the need grow stronger, but it certainly brings surprise as well. Process is more confusing when I have not been in the routine of making art, day after day. My exhibit in Brooklyn swept me away. I must be emotionally tolerant as I return to my normal regimen.
I am amazed how much I missed this adventure. I am back, investigating through making-art. The surprise to me is that mounting an exhibition took such enormous time away from the stuff I relish. Here I am, OK and renewed. Everything I do, from exhibiting to art-making, informs me. It was worthwhile seeing my recent paintings and drawings assembled, together in an exhibition in one large room. It taught me this: I have a lot to say and I am in the process of learning how to say it. This kind of research does not go quickly. It is never ending. I am glad to be here, to be doing it, day after day!
Yesterday was very active. A new painting was begun and I spent a few hours drawing.
I am back, big and strong. First, I was swept away by my solo show in New York City. Then I returned to a dirty and clogged studio. Over the last two weeks I have opened-up and cleaned my studio. I return today to a vastly more accessible studio; one that will allow me to make two paintings at once; a drawing as well. My intension is this: To be working simultaneously on a large painting (bigger than 70 inches on one side), a smaller painting (smaller than 36 inches on one side), while continue my practice of making one or two drawings per day. I have a need to progress quickly, to problem solve quickly. By having two spaces to work on paintings I can experiment on a smaller painting while unravelling the requirements a more complex larger work demands. I can now place two paintings side by side on my work wall. In addition, by removing all the old work that was lying around I have room for an easel on which to draw. I was reluctant to give up my studio time for clearing and cleaning activity. This massive clean has revitalized of my studio. It was the right thing to do. My work can now proceed more efficiently, allowing a quicker means to unravel my peculiar way of seeing. Two paintings at a time is better; one painting at a time was not enough. Yes, today I am back in the studio with great zeal and vigor.
Today I show you the final state of 2017 No.14 (which is reproduced here, in this blog, for the first time). This painting was completed in early March 2018, just before the opening of my One Brooklyn Bridge Park exhibition.
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