 Drawing 02·01·2023, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  "After Words" (2023 No.1, state 02), oil on canvas, 49¼X45 inches I have not been writing much because I have been processing much. My processing is showing up in my Art, so why bother with words? Words pale along side the worries I endure. My problem is sorting out the worries, make sense of them, answer to myself: which don't make sense, which must be resolved for me to cure my problems? I answer as I sort out those worries true from worried false. False worries are misguidance. I have worried too much about working my way through and out from the past. The past is a crutch, dominated by artists who have been my models. I am immersed in an effort to deny their influence. I need to find myself acceptable to myself. The work shown today was made yesterday. I believe it shows I am moving my way through my worries. I am beginning to deny the intense influence of my pantheon of artists. Those artist gave me wings to begin making art. They became catches to lean upon. A crutch must be thrown away in order to mend and become fully strong. I have arrived at a time of personal acceptance.
 "Compunction" (2022 No.12, state 04), oil on canvas, 57⅛x66½ inches In reminiscence, I believe I have too long been afraid of the unfamiliar. This xenophobia has held me back, it has not allowed me to fully embrace my weird, unusual manner of seeing the world. I hope this painting, "Compunction", is a full break from my past, one in which I embrace my fondness for humor in the face of fear and limitations, both personal and societal. I embrace all my visitors, in dreams and in person. I have finally become xenial because I am xenial by nature. “We will never compromise our principles... [we] will always put... benevolence over bigotry, the Constitution over the cult, democracy over demagogues, economic opportunity over extremism, freedom over fascism, governing over gaslighting, hopefulness over hatred, inclusion over isolation, justice over judicial overreach, knowledge over kangaroo courts, liberty over limitation, maturity over Mar-a-Lago, normalcy over negativity, opportunity over obstruction, people over politics, quality of life issues over QAnon, reason over racism, substance over slander, triumph over tyranny, understanding over ugliness, voting rights over voter suppression, working families over the well-connected, xenial over xenophobia, ‘yes, we can’ over ‘you can’t do it,’ and zealous representation over zero-sum confrontation. We will always do the right thing by the American people.” -Hakeem Jeffries  "Catapult" (2022 No.10, state 2), oil on canvas, 60¾x55⅝ inches My personal revolution is paying off. The painting, "Catapult", is self-respect. I feel deeply, yet, in the past, I have strayed from making Art based as much upon my personal history as upon the History of Art. This revolution is about me saying, “Enough with deception!” No longer will I restfully make Art clearly influenced by Picasso, Miró, Moore, Sutherland, Kandinsky, or Matisse.
I love creating three-dimensional forms. I love creating light filled images. I want to do this trickery on a two-dimensional surface. I do not want to be a sculptor. What I want is clear. My revolution is my acceptance of my personal preferences. This painting is a revolutionary step simply because it makes sense to me. Consequently, I am making sense of myself.  Drawing 08·27·2022 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 08·27·2022 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches I think this is a "Eureka Moment" — At Last I've accepted my mission. I fought hard. I fought for too long. I tried to defeat my instincts. I tried to challenge the instincts of the Masters. In drawing and painting. identifying a theme is most important. I always disliked the work of Jackson Pollock; now I know why. Pollock had difficulty finding an idea, a theme, an impetus, a reason to be. As result, Pollock scrambled everything, made it look mostly unreadable, thus he tried to hide his inability to find intention.
Here I am, accepting myself. I do have ideas. I do feel. I do know. My art is becoming centered, like Art made by Picasso, de Chirico, and many others. Wishing to centering is being oneself. Pollock missed this particular boat. Pollock’s paintings are nonsense made real. These drawings, and the one's I have recently revised, are recognizing the important of being centered, both philosophically and visually. I will continue to revise my failures, force them to come to reality of self-importance. Every one of my works must be able to identify itself in terms of its reason to exist. This is me centering myself by centering my works of Art. Come back tomorrow to see me transform my first drawing of 8/26/2022 into one better centered, more intentional, then it is now.  "The Beginnings of Caution" (2022 No.4, state 4), oil on canvas, 47⅞ x47 inches “How to Look at a Basquiat” (New York Times, April 27, 2022): “One thing in particular that’s easier to see in “Art and Objecthood” than in the overwhelming visual cacophony of “King Pleasure” is how conservatively Basquiat organized the elements of his paintings. The sheer profusion of marks can be misleading, but if you recognize the scratches and scrawls of “Minor Success,” for example, as providing a texture rather than so many pieces of separate information, you’ll see that the arrangement of crown, face and car couldn’t be more straightforward.”
“Straightforward” compositional engagement is one of my annoying struggles. Right now I am working to become more “straightforward.” For me, this is acceptance. I have long fought traditional compositional norms; Basquiat did not do that; from the onset Basquiat embraced traditional graphic composition; Basquiat recognized the power of tried and true graphic composing, its power to immediately engage viewers. I am learning; the work of Jean-Michel Basquiat teaches me well.  Drawing 02·08·2022, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Get real! This drawing happened during my throws of physical recovery. Is it more real than most of my stuff? This drawing can be read as figure in weird landscape, or not. In any case, I continue my lethargic self-evaluation, also insight and surprising self-realization. My default may not be as elegantly abstract as I once believed. Perhaps I just want to make imaginary figures in imaginary landscapes. Perhaps I am more Joan Miró then I had imagined, or Yves Tanguy?👇  Yves Tanguy, "Indefined Divisibility", oil on canvas, 1942  "Gonna Speak to the Crowd" (2021 No.5, state 22), oil on canvas, 64¾x57½ inches, {"I'm gonna spare the defeated — I'm gonna speak to the crowd. I'm gonna spare the defeated, boys, I'm going to speak to the crowd. I am goin' to teach peace to the conquered. I'm gonna tame the proud." - Bob Dylan, "Lonesome Day Blues" (2001)} I realized "Gonna Speak to the Crowd” is not yet complete. I took charge, moved it toward a more active composition, an in-your-face, movement involved, structurally whole composition. This painting moved in the direction of my guiding principles: self-satisfaction and viewer involvement. Wanna see a painting that did ALL THE ABOVE, back in 1951; look below👇  Ellsworth Kelly, "The Meschers", oil on canvas, 1951  Drawing 01·20·2022, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches myself Sometimes I mull over my reason for the text within my Blog post. What’s it all about? It is all about me mulling over my Art, its direction, its validity, the degree I have made sense in my work. Today is no exception. This is a good drawing. I am establishing a center, in my work, and in myself. Today’s text is me patting on the back, “I did alright,” and “I am going the right direction.” Bravo for me! Now, get outta here and go make more Art! Take a look at a master, Franz Marc, controlling the viewer's engagement: In the painting "Deer in the Forest," Marc locks the viewer's gaze within this painting, through form and value. After the lock, Marc carries the viewer through a maze of wonder, via color, form, value, and movement.  Franz Marc, "Deer in the Forest", 101x105cm, 1913  Drawing 12·21·2021 No.1, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 12·21·2021 No.2, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches I am on my own road. This is a shoutout to myself: "Follow your own compass!" and, "To thyself be true!" I am abandoning misdirection. Misdirection is mostly using models for direction. These drawings an't nothing but my own. I am choosing simplicity. This is me accepting my own minuscule knowledge. Forget the guy who was edgy. I was looking for revolution; I should have been following what I know. Here, in these drawings, I am working toward my personal summative truth.
 Drawing 12·05·2021 (state 2), pencil on paper, 16x20 inches  Drawing 12·05·2021 (state 1), pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I once read Pablo Picasso hired studio helpers to duplicate his paintings in process. He did this because he wanted to go two ways with the same painting. This happens to me, in drawings and in paintings. I do not have studio helpers. Yesterday I moved a drawing to a place I thought was as good as it gets, then I had second thoughts. I photographed state 1; went back into the same drawing. This happens often to me; usually I do not take the time to photograph earlier states. I am desperate to get to the best conclusions possible. In fact, the more I know the more desperate I am. My artistic intensity is on the rise. I am feel upset, like an angry person in quest of a solution to my problems. In this case ,it is the failure of my Art to be as good as I know it can be.
I do like state 2 of this drawing much better than state 1. I am toying with allowing negative space to have its day. However, I do hate vacuums, pure white. I need to see everything that is the surface's ground. Van Gogh and I are similar in this regard. True too with Andrew Wyeth. |
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At MEHRBACH.com you may view many of my paintings and drawings, past and present, and see details about my life and work. Archives
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