Energy, or the lack thereof, crept up on me. The last few days have been days of me storing energy for the last changes that will be necessary on that marvelous painting, 2017 No.9. I call it "marvelous" because I believe it to be a masterpiece in this evolution that is my three-dimensional abstraction. I also believe there are many more to come. I have reached a place that is contact between me, myself, my intuition, and my painting. A flood is a-coming!
This drawing looks industrial to me, i.e., manufactured. Are emotions removed when manufacturing occurs? No! A Lamborghini is a beautiful thing, emotionally felt.
Purity and rightness are forever sought, but impossible. Acceptability is possible. Toleration of an image will allow me to move on. I cannot let 2017 No.9 go. The composition demands a few edges must be reconsidered. Also, full reconciliation of light and shadow is required. This is not a lot. I am OK progressing through ten states of a painting in order to tolerate it, thus finding peace so I can call it finished.
Yesterday's drawing is wholly realized. The minor forms play on top of a major form. I think the coherency of the light, as seen in the major and minor forms, is nicely perceived. This is about the painting 2017 No.9. I don't know if you noticed. Yesterday the object with three orbs, in the upper left, cast four shadows. Today it casts the proper three shadows, That's better! I do not insist upon absolute correctness. When composition demands it I allow natural incongruities to stand. It surprised me more allegiance to normal visual reality was required. 2017 No.9 is better, but not complete. The foreground object continues to bother me.
Yesterday's drawings are interesting, but not spectacular. Just when I thought it was safe I see a twist too much! As consequence, a distraction in effort is necessary. Can you see it? It's in the upper left of 2017 No.9. The lower edge of that rectangle rotates the eye down and out. The rectangle should be inconsequential. It should be a set up for the flurry of energy within the painting. Instead it distracts. It is never safe in the forest. Ticks are ready and waiting. Lucky I have the tools to make it right.
That said, state 7 of 2017 No.9 is better than state 6. And, yesterday's drawing is splendidly complex. How does this happen? Art-making is magic! This one is beginning to taste good. The painting 2017 No.9 is closing in on itself. Goodness and wonder are not easy, not casual. I dislike this difficulty. Questions always remain. I may drink wine to insure the strawberries taste good. Perhaps the other way around? I am never satisfied. How can I be sure there is not a better tasting strawberry out there? Doubt is discomfort. Acceptance is necessary. I think acceptance is about to happen. One more session with 2017 No.9 should do it.
Yesterday's drawing is a surprise. I did not see it coming. New forms appear when necessary. This animates me. Makes me go back for more. There is a lot of art being made today that is plain vanilla. It is what is expected. Perhaps it has always been this way. The vast majority of artists have always repeated that which is given them. They follow the present day cultural norm. In many cases it is good art. It exudes the dictums of well known principles. Not every person can do this. It takes talent. Thus is the separation of the talented academic from the common artist. I am hoping I am not simply an academically talented artist. I am hoping I am the artist who sees the making of pictures as an experiment in wonder. Thus appears the risks I took yesterday. I am aiming at substance discovered, not substance known. I believe the painting 2017 No.9 is made as discovery. I have never seen anything like it before. It speaks truth to me. That is its importance.
Yesterday's drawing also surprises me. Even though it feels mostly made from formula. There are five standing objects. All on solid ground: normal space, punctuated by forms. In spite of this normalcy, these forms have interesting qualities. Each is well drawn. The viewer perceives all sides of them, even the surfaces that are in deep shadow, This is an academic success! It proves there is validity in art made mundanely. I may have written disparagingly of this kind of art in the first paragraph of today's post, but here is a drawing saying OK. Art-making is more about management than predictability. It is being a host, akin to being within a swarm of gnats on a hot, humid summer day. Ideas are in front of me, within me. All I can do is squirm. Try to make it better. Such is problem solving. No bias allowed. Accept all questions as valid. Manage till current knowledge is exhausted. Call it quits when no path forward is understood. This painting, 2017 No.9, is not done. The questions it asks are important. I will not leave it till I lose track of its self-inflicted strategy.
Yesterday's drawing came directly. It is a sweet spot that has the aura of comfort in knowledge. It was enjoyable to make. The only way I am going to achieve extreme quality is by delivering an extreme number of renditions.
I cannot satisfy myself. There is no way I can be content with any one image. Everything I make calls another question. Better, yes; final, no. May I live a long life! This said, I do like the work I produced yesterday. I am finding new ways to animate the canvas and paper. 2017 No.9 is calling for artifice of space, artifice of light, artifice of shadow. It is in light and shadow that this painting most interests me. The object in the foreground is a form requiring low contrast because I perceive it in shadow. The background is fully lit, begging for more light in a high value light source. It does not matter. The being here matters. That's it! Everything is a knot. Everything needs to be tied and bound. That is problem solving! Will the knots hold? That does not matter. With this I give you state 2 of the painting 2017 No.9. It is coming naturally. It is being here in the making. It matters. This allowance occurred in yesterday's drawing as well. Life is good!
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February 2019
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