The painting, Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014, is beginning to increase its energy load. This is, perhaps, the opposite of woe. More succinctly, it is simple mindfulness. It is taking me over, here and now.
Today's title is less reality than a query. It is very confusing to be an artist. It's like diving blind into a quarry pond, dark and deep with no sunshine to illuminate its depth. The safety of the dive is in question. Picasso said it well: "Painting is a blind man's profession. He paints not what he sees, but what he feels, what he tells himself about what he has seen." I am becoming permeated with this reality. The only way forward is to give into knowledge deeper and smarter than anything I consciously know. I am allowing myself to be taken over by forces I do not understand. I am a prisoner of the internalization of all I have seen. Woe is me!
It is not what you make, it is where it comes from. A couple days ago I saw the new film "Turner" (about the artist, Joseph Mallord William Turner). It rang so very true. There is a point where writing and talking about one's art is indescribable. I am getting there. This does not mean I will stop this blog, as its reason for existence is about getting my images out there for you to see, but more importantly, for me to reflect upon those same images. Every day my posting here is useful to me. It forces me to see more clearly that which I have done. It categorizes my images externally. This allows me to question if my day's work has internal authenticity. The answer is never as clear as the question.
Curious it is to me. Where these images come from I am not fully aware. I can say yesterday's drawing was entertaining in process. There is a lot of fullness in this drawing, round and tangible forms, albeit a world unknown in its peculiar departure from the place I live. The man appears on a stage, with a curtain, with a strange fruit. That's all I have.
The question which keeps bugging me is, "Why don't I know more quickly?" This process is slow, full of testing and failures. The woman in the right panel of Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014 is getting closer to appearing well enough to accept, but she ain't there yet! The look on her head is better. I believe her head is too large. At this point the woman's head in the right panel does not play effectively with the man's head in the left panel. The size of her head places her in a world apart, so her head must diminish in order to bring her back into the overall composition.
Yesterday's drawing was approached differently than usual. I let it fall on the paper, rather than forced it upon the paper. In other words, I did not begin with an idea. I made stroke after stroke, seeking forms which made sense within the developing composition. I carefully watched the developing forms for impact and quality. This method brought me back to the days when I made abstract three dimensional compositions. It made me think, that possibly, I am more about the abstract power of a picture than the figurative power. This will continue to be tested. The range of my work has been restricted by my dedication to the figure. I am uncomfortable with restrictions. I did not have much time in the studio yesterday. In about an hour I rubbed out the head of the woman in the right panel and tried several other variations. It continues to not work for me. At this moment, looking at the reproduction here, I wish to destroy her head. Right now I can see a basic circle working better than what is there now. I am disturbed. Impact, and reaction to the present composition, and its content, is my concern. It isn't going to be pretty, and isn't for the faint of heart. I am standing above a precipice, looking down into the deep and dark and incomprehensible. I know there is a solid bottom. I do not want to jump and crash. I want to discern its topography, then illustrate on these canvases.
The images on the new triptych, Untitled Triptych-08132014, were established in one sitting. This is remarkable‼️ The long term readers of my blog know that I think, by instinct, and by intuition, via drawing. Discovery of the Acrylic Paint Marker has allow me to fully utilize instinct and intuition to begin this new painting. This is a revolution. I am not looking back. My enjoyment of the process went way up! I am concerned with the speed of my creativity. My ideas far outstrip my ability to get them down on physical paper and canvas. This acrylic marker technique will facilitate my ideas becoming real images. Because of this simple change, I am anticipating the production of my art to be more, better, and significantly truer to myself.
In general, painting is also becoming a more important exploratory vehicle. The process of drawing is wonderful. However, more than ever, it is through painting that my core is revealed. It is, by nature, a more contemplative process. It is larger, and therefore takes on more expressive weight. Size is important. In a way, yesterday I did begin the new painting. I show its naked, white canvases below, as it appears on my painting wall. Here is state zero of Untitled Triptych-08132014. The drawing is my futile attempt to make a diptych on one piece of paper. It just does not work well. There is something necessary about the physical, and real gap, between the two panels.
You can see a problem with accurate reproduction in the reproduced white canvases for the new painting. It is a very large area. The lighting is uneven, inconsistent in tone and value. Last night I watched Wes Anderson's film, "The Grand Budapest Hotel." I said out loud, "If I made films this is the kind I would make." It is the wrap of seriousness within humor that attacks me. That makes sense to me. I have had periods of my art making when this enclosure, and inclusion, has been present in my art. I believe, in order to live well, the serious aspects of life must be viewed within a sense humor that reflects the futility and limits of being alive and human. I must return to making art which fully reflect who I am and my core beliefs. Just in time: I am an easy step away from the completion of Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. It will probably happen today! So, what you see here, is Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 on the verge of its finality! It seems too serious to me now. Nonetheless, I needed to make it. Being an artist is seeking the root self. This painting was a step toward understanding the core requirements of my true art. Looking back is good because it informs me looking now. Yesterday's first drawing contains some of that sense of humor I require to feel fully me. I am happy it is coming back. Look for it in my next painting!
Yesterday's changes to Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 were excellent alterations, bringing that painting to the edge of completion. Also, today's reproduction is closer to the original. I took extra care to make sure the viewer of this blog could see the floor lines on the red surfaces. They animate both panels. Besides the floor lines in the right panel, yesterday saw a change to the plant and pot in the same panel. That plant perked up, helping the compositional movement, if not the emotional, physical, symbolic expression of that panel.
Yesterday's drawing is intriguing in a few ways. First, in its spatial qualities. Secondly, the emotional expression finds an unusual solution. The right man's head flattens against the wall. The intertwined legs further compound the ambivalent connection between these men. BTW: This was not an easy reproduction. I am making great efforts, using the program Photoshop, to reflect the impact of the originals. But, as you may see, if you review the history of the reproductions of Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014, when one element is reproduced to closely reflect its impact in the original, sometimes another element does not reproduce well (I am referring to the dark lines on the red surface in Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014, which, in many reproductions, were lost to enhance other elements of the painting). |
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April 2024
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