Every now and then I get so involved in the emotional impact of a work in process that I do not remember to properly check its anatomy. Is this good or bad? I am unsure. I believe the emotional impact should trump all other concerns. It is the emotional impact that secures the viewer's interest, and, after all, is the conduit to my personal expression. I am writing about the problems with the man's anatomy in the drawing reproduced below (from two days ago; I did not post yesterday). For some reason I wanted to depict the man from behind. He is looking up, with his scapulas in stress. It doesn't work properly because the neck begins too far down the back. I feel I could easily reverse him, making his back into his front by simply changing the scapulas to pectoral muscles (his hands and arms would have to be reversed too). I am not going to do it. I'm going to move on. BTW: I like the floating woman. I am especially pleased by her head, feet, tummy, and hands.
The right panel of the painting Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014 now plays well with the left panel. That done, I will now move onto refinements to the heads and the hands (i.e., the details).
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The journey of Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014 has been a long one (now in its 26th state!). I have had to be patient, waiting for its entirety to make sense. It is doing that now. At last I can see a finish coming. I am actually restless. This extended process, taking well over a month, is holding me here. I want to take the next step. I have stretched up a new, much smaller, single panel canvas. That is where I am going for my next painting. I am not complaining. I am stating my quality of restive, jitteriness. I want to move on. At the same time I know it is important for me to give all I have to give to where I am now.
I took a day away on Saturday and returned to the studio in a bit of a fuzz. The result is my transition drawing, which brought me back to the reality of the studio. The drawing is unusual for me. Surprisingly, it pleases me. Why do I feel these things? I see problems and possible solutions, but I am not simply happy. immediately upon viewing today's reproduction of the painting Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014 I see a problem, and it glares at me. The left panel is not reacting as well as it might; it should play better with the other two panels. The left panels is too upright. I believe it requires a rotational structure to animate it, and contrast it, with the other two panels. Funny it seems, because the lines on the back wall of the left panel instigate a rotation. However, those lines complete nothing. Do I know the solution? No! But I know the problem, and that's a beginning. Writing this informs me of a fundamental concern of mine: compositional animation and balance. Its importance is rearing it head. But there is much more to me than that. Look at yesterday's drawing. I continue my efforts to scrape the surface of the human face in my quest of subtle emotional expression. I couldn't make this stuff up. It is primal. I know not where my concerns originate.
I do not have enough energy to get it ALL done in one day. By ALL, I mean that I see more which must be altered, corrected, solved, than I am able to do in one sitting. However, the problem of limited energy is not My Biggest Fear! My Biggest Fear is my problem of being mortal. I am on a path which is endless, but I am not endless. There is so much more to come from me. I am chiseling away, slowly and surely discovering the depth of my knowing. My knowing is so deeply hidden because of the confusions created by education. By this I mean that my interaction with the experiential acts of living has obscured authentic truths because living is confusing. Thus my plight. It will take more than my lifetime to find a visual form which represents my deepest knowledge. I believe my knowing is not indeterminate, but it is obscure. The journey is longer than I have time to give it. This fact is My Biggest Fear. It will not stop me from this expedition. Step by step I will continue because the rewards are obvious. After each step I know more. Today I show you step 20 in the painting Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014. It is better than its previous state. That, in a nutshell, is why I will return to it today.
Don't forget to look at yesterday's drawing. There is a lot happening in my search for authenticity through drawing too! There is a search happening, day by day, mark by mark. I am reluctantly excited. It is compelling me. I am accepting my need to follow, to seek, to find. That's all there is...
The colors in Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014 are deeper than those seen in the actual painting. This is my effort to allow you to see the new shadows occurring behind the man in the left panel. It is obvious to me that the left and right panels demand immediately attention and alterations. Today is annoyingly my business day, so the required changes will have to wait until tomorrow.
Yesterday's drawing is interesting is its succinct forms, light, and spatial dialogue. I rather enjoyed making it. I regret a bit that it took up three-quarters of yesterday's studio time to produce because the painting Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014 is calling for me to push it toward finality. This said, yesterday's drawing was actually a necessary study for the man in the left panel of the painting. In the drawing I play with a man against a wall. This prepared me for the play of shadows cast by the man in the left panel of the painting. Today's title is less reality than a query. It is very confusing to be an artist. It's like diving blind into a quarry pond, dark and deep with no sunshine to illuminate its depth. The safety of the dive is in question. Picasso said it well: "Painting is a blind man's profession. He paints not what he sees, but what he feels, what he tells himself about what he has seen." I am becoming permeated with this reality. The only way forward is to give into knowledge deeper and smarter than anything I consciously know. I am allowing myself to be taken over by forces I do not understand. I am a prisoner of the internalization of all I have seen. Woe is me!
Yesterday's changes to Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014 have moved it from category "messy" to category "up and running". It is now, definitely, on the run! Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014 has accepted itself, it is its own life; I have become its conduit. In terms of its reproduction, I did pull back a bit on its color saturation, for better and for worse. In today's reproduction the color in the left panel looks more saturated than it actually is, while the color in the right panel is more subdued than reality. The middle ground is the middle panel, which appears just about right. In its current state the middle panel is calling for today's work.
Yesterday's drawing is a study for the girl in right panel. The question which keeps bugging me is, "Why don't I know more quickly?" This process is slow, full of testing and failures. The woman in the right panel of Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014 is getting closer to appearing well enough to accept, but she ain't there yet! The look on her head is better. I believe her head is too large. At this point the woman's head in the right panel does not play effectively with the man's head in the left panel. The size of her head places her in a world apart, so her head must diminish in order to bring her back into the overall composition.
Yesterday's drawing was approached differently than usual. I let it fall on the paper, rather than forced it upon the paper. In other words, I did not begin with an idea. I made stroke after stroke, seeking forms which made sense within the developing composition. I carefully watched the developing forms for impact and quality. This method brought me back to the days when I made abstract three dimensional compositions. It made me think, that possibly, I am more about the abstract power of a picture than the figurative power. This will continue to be tested. The range of my work has been restricted by my dedication to the figure. I am uncomfortable with restrictions. I thought of several choices to title today's post, which included, "Don't shoot the messenger", and "Real work has returned". All these titles are appropriate, and concise. Unlike the previous two posts, I want to say something about process!
Soon after reproducing the previous version of Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014, I began to dislike the right panel. (BTW: I now give you two ways to observe my blog's reproductions: in its given small format, and in a larger format when selected with a click.) Yesterday I did much to dismantle the right panel's problems, but did not solve it. I played with incongruent sizes. The overall result continues to be disturbing. However, the angle of her head, and "X" of her body, are more satisfactory. Today I'll shrink her head, and will try to angle it correctly, hopefully making it collaborate better, and conspire, with the man in the left panel. This will cause the man in the left panel to react. Let the games begin! I do like the few changes I made to the central panel (the man's head, and the blue vase and its table). Yesterday's drawing is interesting, albeit a basic rehash of known ideas. The drawing is more practice than inspired revelation. |
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May 2024
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