 Drawing 11·14·2018, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches Approach can swing from fully intellectual to fully emotional. The sweet-spot must be somewhere in-between. The sweet-spot is not-too-soft, not-too-hard, but just-right; yes it is something Goldilocks would enjoy!
Yesterday's drawing consumed my entire studio time. That drawing is intricate and it is thoughtful, but it felt dry in-the-making. This drawing was born mostly from my intellect and less from my emotions. Does it fail the viewer because it is not fully human? This is my worry. Living well, making art well, both are not fully intellectual nor fully emotional. Art, if done well, contains a balance of intellect and emotion. So how do I do this in a way that fully represents me? Perhaps, if this drawing were a bit different it would be more emotionally successful. For instance, if the form on the bottom right were larger, would its contrast create emotional stress through a dramatic emotional juxtaposition of forms? Instead it is so well balanced as to be comfortably numb. I do not want to represent this drawing as poor, or inadequate. It is an excellent drawing; but it just does not speak with a striking amount emotional energy. I want more. OK, I know how to put together a nicely balanced composition, one that is intellectually satisfying. Again; I want more! I want to see the stresses of existence in my art; the push and pull between my intellect and my emotions. The quest is truth and representation of the authentic consequence of living. I am getting closer. Writing, as I am today, is a call for my instigating a great effort to move closer to full satisfaction, me delivering a performance that fully and completely represents all I feel and know. (Beethoven's Ninth Symphony come to mind!)
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 Drawing 11·08·2018, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches In a recent post I noted a change in structure of my studio time. Not-so-long-ago I began each studio session with a drawing, or two. Now I go into the studio and get swept away by either a drawing or a painting. Rarely more than one image absorbs me in one studio session. The drawing I show today took me two days of studio time! I cannot remember a drawing taking more than a few hours, or more than one studio session. So this is a first occurrence! It is an excellent drawing! It seems my new approach does well for the quality of my work.
 Drawing 11·06·2018, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Making sense is the slow and steady knock, knock, knocking on the door of knowing. The door opens a crack, then a wider crack, and finally an opening wide enough to walk into. I can feel this happening; in both my paintings and in my drawings. Do I actually understand something more profound than I can say in words? Definitely?
 "Chaos, Stillness & Prayer" (2018 No.9, state 4), oil on canvas, 54x36 inches {"Art has something to do with the achievement of stillness in the midst of chaos. A stillness which characterizes prayer, too, and the eye of the storm.... an arrest of attention in the midst of distraction." -Saul Bellow, "Writers at Work: Third Series", 1967} My allocation of time in the studio has changed. Yesterday I spent the entire time painting. This is my revolution. A year ago I always proceeded the time allotted to painting with time drawing, always. What does this change in habit mean? I now find painting as excitingly exploratory as drawing. This is about self-confidence too! I have always felt my drawing is about successful problem solving; solutions were available because my confidence level was high. I was not so confident with my painting. This confidence in my ability to solve problems by painting is new! I like it! The painting Chaos, Stillness & Prayer is being solved!
 Drawing 11·03·2018, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches Once in while I am completely swept away by the activity of drawing, so much so that I cease personalization; I am not there. Who was there yesterday when I made this drawing? I feel I shook hands with the devil. The devil had his part to play; I recognized him and then I made it right. I did not let the devil mosh me down. Instead I made a marvelous drawing! (I quote Bob Marley.) "The devil ain't got no power over me. The devil come, and me shake hands with the devil. Devil have his part to play. Devil's a good friend, too... because when you don't know him, that's the time he can mosh you down." -Bob Marley  "Burnt Norton" (2018 No.8, state 21), oil on canvas, 63x66 inches {"What might have been is an abstraction; Remaining a perpetual possibility; Only in a world of speculation. What might have been and what has been point to one end, which is always present. Footfalls echo in the memory." -T.S. Eliot, "Burnt Norton"}  "Chaos, Stillness & Prayer" (2018 No.9, state 3), oil on canvas, 54x36 inches {"Art has something to do with the achievement of stillness in the midst of chaos. A stillness which characterizes prayer, too, and the eye of the storm.... an arrest of attention in the midst of distraction." -Saul Bellow, "Writers at Work: Third Series", 1967} Perfection takes time. I must not let perfection distract me from advancement. Improvement comes by avoiding the lure of perfection. Improvement means knowing when I must move to a new endeavor. The lessons learned from my inability to achieve perfection will be used as instruction during my next effort. Betterment is slow and steady work. The endeavor to reach perfection must come with acceptance; perfection will never be achieved. Thus is human reality.
Burnt Norton is so darn close to completion. I have been tweaking and altering, each change coming with its sense of necessity to the fulfillment of the piece. Simultaneously I have been working on Chaos, Stillness & Prayer. I am going to limit myself to one more session on Burnt Norton.  "Chaos, Stillness & Prayer" (2018 No.9, state 2), oil on canvas, 54x36 inches {"Art has something to do with the achievement of stillness in the midst of chaos. A stillness which characterizes prayer, too, and the eye of the storm.... an arrest of attention in the midst of distraction." -Saul Bellow, "Writers at Work: Third Series", 1967} I am simultaneously finishing and beginning paintings. Burnt Norton is concluding as Chaos, Stillness & Prayer begins. Comparison of emotions, beginnings versus conclusions, are stark. I enjoy the mastery, the skill, and the virtuosity I feel as I polish a painting toward its conclusion. Not so enjoyable is the chaos and quandary I feel during the beginnings of a painting, Both have their emotional merits; both bolster my sense of significance, the self-worth I find in accomplishment. I will feel fine when Chaos, Stillness & Prayer starts to make sense; I will feel gratified and strong. Until then, it is the difficult work of problem solving, i.e., finding a reason for this painting to live.
 Drawing 10·30·2018, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches I am feeling very good about my work. It is making sense. My art is on a path to I do not know where. Like Joseph Campbell, I believe if you know your path it is NOT your path.
 "Burnt Norton" (2018 No.8, state 20), oil on canvas, 63x66 inches {"What might have been is an abstraction; Remaining a perpetual possibility; Only in a world of speculation. What might have been and what has been point to one end, which is always present. Footfalls echo in the memory." -T.S. Eliot, "Burnt Norton"} "What might have been is an abstraction; Remaining a perpetual possibility; Only in a world of speculation what might have been and what has been point to one end, which is always present." This painting is Burnt Norton, in its speculation and in its presence. Yesterday's entire studio session was used to enhance Burnt Norton, getting it ever-so-close to its perpetual possibility. I must declare (as a visual artist): The more one knows the more one sees the more one's discipline must be used to clarify one's knowledge in a visual product.
 "Burnt Norton" (2018 No.8, state 19), oil on canvas, 63x66 inches {"What might have been is an abstraction; Remaining a perpetual possibility; Only in a world of speculation. What might have been and what has been point to one end, which is always present. Footfalls echo in the memory." -T.S. Eliot, "Burnt Norton"}  Drawing 10·27·2018, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Jumping into a pit of obstacles, hazards and rewards, is the means to success in sport and in art-making. I found I can act well when challenged by multiple possibilities, some leading to success, some leading to failure. This is problem solving. This is the activity of art-making. This is the activity of sport. Art is engineering and athletics combined. It is physical, and it is mental. Yesterday I leaped into a drawing. For a while I felt lost. I had created many possibilities. For a while it felt confusing and chaotic. There were moments when I thought it best to abandon the drawing. I did not. I was rewarded. I found order within the chaos I had launched. This success by challenge is a great thing; it brings vitality. If the result is success, then trust in one's abilities are bolstered. More challenge will follow. It is a practice I will continue.
Burnt Norton is now very close to complete. The tweak is on! Burnt Norton shall now be completed with minor alterations in color, line, and form. |
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November 2018
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