Carl Mehrbach's Art Blog - Making Art

Carl Mehrbach's Art Blog

Making More Sense

11/24/2021

Drawing 11·23·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

My goal is to make sense of it all, from Life to Works of Art. Making Life, making Art, they are difficult conundrums (which is redundant), I have much unfinished business. Yesterday I took a step in the right direction. The way I approached this drawing, and the way I approach life, feels better, right and good. This is not a declaration of success, but a statement of worthwhile endeavors.

This Ain't Easy

11/23/2021

"Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up" (2021 No.10, state 6), oil on canvas, 56x62¼ inches, {"And it is that word 'hummy', my darlings, that marks the first place in 'The House at Pooh Corner' at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up." - Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), in "The New Yorker", 20 October 1928, reviewed by Dorothy Parker as "Constant Reader"}

I thought I made some progress, now I see it is not enough. Woe is me. Far to go before I sleep.

Knocking on the Back Door

11/21/2021

"Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up" (2021 No.10, state 5), oil on canvas, 46¾x61¾ inches, {"And it is that word 'hummy', my darlings, that marks the first place in 'The House at Pooh Corner' at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up." - Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), in "The New Yorker", 20 October 1928, reviewed by Dorothy Parker as "Constant Reader"}

I am certainly not coming through the front door on this one. A roundabout is happening. I am journeying through mud and muck, yet I am optimistic; the crap will dry on my shoes, the detritus will fall off, I will discover a better, cleaner home to live in.

The painting, "Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up", may have a humorous title, but it is in the midst of a deadly serious journey. My path is not assured. I am working hard. I know I will get to a better place. Today is a brand new day.

Agonizingly Incorrect

11/20/2021

Drawing 11·05·2021 (state 2), pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

"Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up" (2021 No.10, state 4), oil on canvas, 46¾x61¾ inches, {"And it is that word 'hummy', my darlings, that marks the first place in 'The House at Pooh Corner' at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up." - Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), in "The New Yorker", 20 October 1928, reviewed by Dorothy Parker as "Constant Reader"}

Yesterday's studio work is difficult to brag about because it is agonizingly "not there yet." I am really talking about the painting, not the drawing.

The drawing actually did "get there." I show state 2 of Drawing 11·05·2021 (state 1 reproduced in Blog Post of 11/09/2021). This drawing is excellent. The painting is not excellent. It has much work to go.

In yesterday's studio session my great accomplishment is my work toward paring down my message. Yesterday's great insight is this: To make a "I got your attention" Work of Art, a simple, hard nut, big themed, obvious central core of an idea, must be present.

To become the potent painting I wish it to be, "Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up" has to take a big step forward toward my realized objective .

Succeeding by Roundabout

11/19/2021

Drawing 11·18·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

It appears impossible. I cannot get there by straight and true. I go in spirals, circling truth, hitting falsehood, saying "Ouch!", saying "Hey, that makes sense!", i.e., I am in an activity of assembling successes and failures. Through the work of assemblage truth is revealed. When my work sits in front me, naked and alone, assembled for my introspection, that's when I see truth and dishonesty. My job is to weed through confusion, toss out the weeds, bring truth back home. It ain't easy to recognize lies and personal deception. Truth hard to see when deception is part of every extended activity. There are few moments in my my life when I have the simple feeling that all is right, all is what it should be. I am doing OK. Yesterday's drawing is better than most.

Spurious Feelings

11/18/2021

Drawing 11·17·2021, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

This drawing is OK. I do not think it is what I wanted it to be; nor is it what I wish it to be. It misses my ambition. Should I be happy or sad? Methinks I should be neither happy or sad? I choose the middle ground: I accept this drawing is simply one more step on my road to self-expression. It has its own potency of expression, which I must not discount. The surface of the disk-like shape on the right is nicely realized. The contrast between multiple, small forms on the left, and large, simple forms on the right, is expressive. OK. Perhaps it is better than I first thought. I doubt. I am full of regret. I am not perfect. Nor is this road a straight line.

Sunshine and Clouds

11/17/2021

Drawing 11·16·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

This drawing is impossible to reproduce with its subtle, high contrast, pencil marks, from gray to black. I go with this reproduction because it is as good as I can get. In reproducing my work, my goal is always to illuminate their structures and emotions. Have I have accomplished reproducing this drawing's complexity? I have reproduced its intent. My art must be seen in person, on a well lit wall, to be fully appreciated. I apologize for my failures. Obviously, in reproducing my art, I work hard to show it in true appearance.

1, 2, Buckle My Shoe

11/14/2021

Drawing 11·12·2021, pencil on paper,16x20 inches

"Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up " (2021 No.10, state 3), oil on canvas, 46¾x61¾ inches, {"And it is that word 'hummy', my darlings, that marks the first place in 'The House at Pooh Corner' at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up." -Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), in "The New Yorker", 20 October 1928, reviewed by Dorothy Parker as "Constant Reader"}

Here I represent one day of work. I make no judgments! I took a few steps. Forward steps, perhaps, sideways, perhaps, definitely NOT backward. I do feel these are moves in the right direction. Are these the done deal. No! These works, the ones I show here, are like one act in getting dressed for the day; I buckled my shoe. I got ready to take larger steps forward.

Finding Space in My Soul

11/12/2021

Drawing 11·11·2021, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches

My soul is there for my taking. Here is a drawing that gets one step closer to who I am by virtue of what I know to be true.

Wonder & Glory or Something Else?

11/11/2021

Drawing 11·10·2021, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches

Whether I am right or I am wrong, I believe in this feeling of Wonder & Glory. I feel discovery. I am amazed. This drawing, my work, it feels right and good. I do fear self-delusion; in any case, I am enjoying this momentary feeling of success. Seldom do I feel entitled to self-respect. Seldom do I feel I owe myself celebratory elation. I have taken a step in the right direction. That's the way I feel.