Understanding is slow to form, but when understanding is accomplished, it is resilient, and consistent. My favorite painting of Leonardo da Vinci's is his unfinished St. Jerome. As with all things I love at first sight, I did not immediately comprehend the reason for my instantaneous love. It is the overall organization of the canvas I relish so much. Here is an incomplete list of reasons for my visceral enjoyment of St. Jerome: (1) the rotation of lion's tail mimicking the overall rotational dialogue of the entire image, (2) the intriguing negative space between Jerome and the lion, (3) the thrust of Jerome's outstretched arm being parallel to the lion's torso, (4) the semi-circle of the lion's mouth ensuring consistency in rotation, scaled small to large, (5) all the rotation is in contrast to the central pin of the composition, firmly set by the vertical thrust of the St. Jerome's right leg. I enjoy this image deeply, relentlessly, with great satisfaction. My visceral connection, both emotional and intellectual, to Leonardo's St. Jerome is because of its compositional structure. Acknowledging Leonardo's accomplishment is an important insight in my journey to making my own work more satisfying. I can draw form as will as Leonardo, but I continue to labor to fully comprehend compositional structure. I want my art to be fully satisfying, intellectually and emotionally satisfying. I want my viewers to fall in love with my works of art at first sight, just as I did with the painting St. Jerome. Yesterday's drawings are efforts in the right direction, toward full compositional satisfaction.
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![]() "Startle & Lay Siege" (2021 No.1, state 4), oil on canvas, 36x45 inches {"I was learning at seventy-one what it is to be deranged. Proving that self-discovery wasn't over after all. Proving that the drama that is associated usually with the young as they fully begin to enter life... can startle and lay siege to the aged." -Philip Roth, "Exit Ghost"} The surprise is daily change, not daily worry. It is worry that causes change. Worry is symptomatic of doubt. Always there is doubt. The last three posts have shown six alterations. These came in drawings, and in the painting shown today. This painting's title is apt: Startle & Lay Siege.
![]() "Startle & Lay Siege" (2021 No.1, state 3), oil on canvas, 36x45 inches {"I was learning at seventy-one what it is to be deranged. Proving that self-discovery wasn't over after all. Proving that the drama that is associated usually with the young as they fully begin to enter life... can startle and lay siege to the aged." -Philip Roth, "Exit Ghost"} Yesterday was a day of alteration toward clarity and better expression. The drawing is a revisit of one from December 18, 2020, the painting is this year's.
Today I do something different. These three drawings are allowed to speak for themselves.
There is a lot in a little, and vice versa. I must be careful. Muck can overwhelm. Muck can distract. Confusion reigns if the the simplest of truth telling is not sustained. Yesterday's drawing allows the viewer to engage with a simple rectangle within a rectangle. This engagement occurs despite it being built with a complex web. I believe yesterday's drawing tells a proper story.
Being centered, having a focal point, that's a good thing. An investigation requires a place to rest. Focus is a location of rest. Reality's frightening vastness sits wide open during truthful research. Gazing is not a sedentary activity. It is walking across a landscape molded in time. Time includes everything we are, from emotions to intellect. Yesterday's drawing is one more recognition that a safe harbor is essential within every search. The viewer requires the same.
![]() "Startle & Lay Siege" (2021 No.1, state 2), oil on canvas, 36x45 inches {"I was learning at seventy-one what it is to be deranged. Proving that self-discovery wasn't over after all. Proving that the drama that is associated usually with the young as they fully begin to enter life... can startle and lay siege to the aged." -Philip Roth, "Exit Ghost"} It should not startle, that truth-telling becomes insight and vice-versa. I am waking-up as I am working. Art, and being here being now, are the same thing. Why then, I continually ask, is it so difficult to get to absolute truth? Truth feels like a moving target, but, perhaps, it is I who am moving, while the target is still.
These two, the painting and the drawing I show today, appear to me to be extremely honest. Yet, I am unrelenting in my questioning. I ask, "Is this integrity?" This question drives me to the next answer. Everything I do is a double check on the last thing I did. These is a change in me. I am more clear on one fact: clarity of purpose is tantamount. When I was a young painter I felt great satisfaction in finding reaction of space and form to one another within the rectangles that are drawings and paintings. Somehow I misplaced that most deep concern, replacing it with the quality of my draftsmanship. Here I am in my objective, becoming young again, These two works, shown today, are a self-call to justice. Be clear, be oneself, return and renew! As Robert Lowell wrote, "Three ages in a flash: the same child in the same picture, he, I, you..." FOR SHERIDAN - Robert Lowell I found yesterday's first drawing uninteresting. I found yesterday's second drawing close to greatness. Both fail to complete. Both left mew with questions. The first a terrible amount of questions. The second, only a few. Today's drawing answers the questions posed by yesterday's second drawing. It pares down to the second drawing's essentials. I find today's drawing exceptional.
Nothing is completely satisfactory. Yesterday's second drawing fits me better than the first. In both cases, these are research. As investigations go, these drawings are extremely satisfactory. Lessons learned yesterday will be utilized today... steps along the way!
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At MEHRBACH.com you may view many of my paintings and drawings, past and present, and see details about my life and work. Archives
January 2021
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