 Drawing 01·19·2019, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Never perfect! Always failure! Always a modicum of success! The next is always better. Examining work is good. Examination informs; it helps me see necessary adjustments; it makes clear the difference between proper notes and those out of tune. I learn. There is a lot to like in yesterday's drawing. Learning is endless. I am on a path; a faithful path to better work.
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 "The Doctrine of Liberty" (2019 No.1, state 1), oil on canvas, 66x59.5 inches {"I believe there is a golden thread which alone gives meaning to the political history of the West, from Marathon to Alamein, from Solon to Winston Churchill and after. This I chose to call the doctrine of liberty under the law." -Anthony Sampson, "The Changing Anatomy of Britain", 1982} I have been thinking about The Law — The Law for a visual artist in 2019. An End to Litigiousness? is the title of my 1/16/2019 Blog Post. This deserves an answer: "In 2019 can art be made without The Law?" Yesterday I began a new painting. I call it, The Doctrine of Liberty. The Doctrine of Liberty has intent. It intends to be one possible answer to my litigious question. It may go astray during its construction. As usual, I will attempt to discover myself through my art-making. I will generate new information. This will lead to better informed answers. Truth will be strengthened. The Doctrine of Liberty is scalped from Anthony Sampson's famous book, Anatomy of Britain. To further clarify my reasoning I slightly alter Sampson's quote: "I believe there is a golden thread which alone gives meaning to [The Art History] of the West." I could have called my new painting A Golden Thread. I chose The Doctrine of Liberty because this painting is a statement, albeit part of a golden thread. It is me seeking personal liberty, personal truth. Anthony Terrell Seward Sampson (3 August 1926 – 18 December 2004) was a British writer and journalist. His most notable and successful book was Anatomy of Britain, which was published in 1962 and was followed by five more "Anatomies", updating the original book under various titles. He was the grandson of the linguist John Sampson, of whom he wrote a biography, The Scholar Gypsy: The Quest For A Family Secret (1997). He also gave Nelson Mandela advice on Mandela's famous 1964 defense speech at the trial which led to his conviction for life.  "Burnt Norton" (2018 No.8, state 24), oil on canvas, 66.5x70.5 inches {"What might have been is an abstraction remaining a perpetual possibility; Only in a world of speculation what might have been and what has been point to one end, which is always present." -T.S. Eliot, "Burnt Norton"} Burnt Norton (the painting) sat upon my work wall, untouched for 10 weeks. A little something nagged me, so I left it there, out in the cold. Yesterday, I fixed it! I call it complete! Old dogs always come back! This one is better for the wait, better for the want. I love this dog!
 Drawing 01·15·2019, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches Rules have been made because history has been made. I grew up with intense interest in visual arts, especially painting and drawing, I studied art history. I looked for models. I looked for information. I gathered it, assiduously and thoroughly. Here I am, playing differently than any model I have ever seen in art history, or in contemporary art. I am myself. Yet, I have not rid myself of the laws I learned from art history and from art school studies. Yesterday's drawing is amazing in its play with form, composition, mark-making, value-contrast, atmospheric and local effects; but it has a deep foundation in the stuff that came before. Is this good or bad? That is a question I continue to answer. This is the process! I have established myself as myself. Now I question the validity of my answers. I am wondering, "Is this drawing remarkable because it plays with rules I invented myself?" OR "Is this drawing just another variation on the rules I have been given by those who made art before me?" Question #2: "Does it matter?" I need to know. Thus I proceed.
 Drawing 01·13·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches Here and there I have done drawings that speak more loudly to me than others. In plastic sleeves they are placed upon my work wall. I look at them, day after day, over and over; slowly, v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y, I comprehend the reason the few speak more potently than others. I like yesterday's drawing very much. Yesterday's drawing does speak potently to me. Yet I cannot judge it well so quickly. I have placed it upon my work wall, in a plastic sleeve next to the other drawings I have found lastingly potent. It will take some time, slow contemplative time, before I know if it is powerful enough to be placed in my pantheon of most influential drawings. Yesterday's drawing is excellent; I know now it is excellent, but does it have lasting emotional and intellectual qualities. I seek tunes that forever sing deeply upon return upon return upon return. This one calls deeply to me right now. Yep, it is emotive. Yes, it is powerful in intellect and in strength of feeling. Will it remain one of my most meaningful works? Slowly, over time and many looks, I shall know.
 Drawing 01·12·2019, 20x16 inches, pencil on paper The most amazing to me is the power of mindfulness over consciousness. I begin drawing with a mark, a snippet of an idea. Within seconds I am swept away by the demands of mind and drawing. No longer am I completely conscious of place and time; there is me and my drawing, as if we were one and the same. Yesterday pulled me into this mysterious realm for over four hours. The result educates me, but not as much as the activity educated me. Knowledge, and the edge of knowledge, are witnessed; invention occurs as I combat the gaps in my knowledge. In filling those gaps creativity happens. The final image is nothing I would have expected. Here I am, better in all ways; my consciousness has increased, my mental acuity is closer to full self-awareness. I have touched a bit of fullness; this must be akin to living in the sight of heaven.
 "Seriously?" (2018 No.11, state 14), oil on canvas, 49.8x62.5 inches {"All higher humor begins with ceasing to take oneself seriously." - Hermann Hesse, "Reflections", ed. Volker Michels, 1974}  "Chaos, Stillness & Prayer" (2018 No.9, state 7), oil on canvas, 54x36 inches {"Art has something to do with the achievement of stillness in the midst of chaos. A stillness which characterizes prayer, too, and the eye of the storm.... an arrest of attention in the midst of distraction." -Saul Bellow, "Writers at Work: Third Series", 1967} Yesterday I worked on both paintings I show today, "Seriously?" and "Chaos, Stillness & Prayer". Both are near complete: A little touch here, a little alteration there, done! I am looking forward to moving on. The remains from last year are exceptional; however, today my knowledge is greater. Knowledge is a fine thing; it sings in the present tense! Last year I was investigating ideas somewhat different from those I question now. New beginnings are always important. Old beginnings stale because the rewards thin after knowledge is assimilated.
 Drawing 01·10·2019, pencil on paper, 16x20 inches There are many of me in myself. Where this shall go depends upon my coalescing all of me. Yesterday's drawing does not resemble the drawing from the day before. You may not agree because you see three-dimensional abstraction as my game. But I see a man wandering through many questions looking for an answer that makes sense. Perhaps sense is never clear. This work of mine, using visual image-symbols in pursuit of myself, is most likely unending. Here comes me, my own posse!
 Drawing 01·08·2019, pencil on paper, 20x16 inches This is true, despite it being an old cliché: My drawings are constantly becoming more powerful. The depth of my knowledge is constantly increasing. Work = Increasing Knowledge = Increasing Power! Power is deceptive. Power is finesse and subtlety too. The drawing I show today has great finesse and subtlety. In this drawing I find strength and vigor. Mindfulness is a great thing; it produces profundity, it penetrates through awareness, it lends understanding through deep self-analysis. Mindfulness is the ultimate conversation with oneself.
 "Seriously?" (2018 No.11, state 13), oil on canvas, 49.8x62.5 inches {"All higher humor begins with ceasing to take oneself seriously." - Hermann Hesse, "Reflections", ed. Volker Michels, 1974} I just keep going along, self-doubting myself into returning to seek meaning in myself. Doubt creates problems to resolve. However, recently things have changed for me. I am respecting my instincts. I follow them. By acting upon instincts I am better at discovering self-truth. The painting, "Seriously?", exhibits more truth now (in state 13) than it did in state 12. Philip Roth's attitude, that work causes self-revelation, has helped me enormously. It is important to find camaraderie in people who have come before; people who have used creativity to find personal reality. I am assured working, experiencing, does unravel truth. Effort is leading me onward, but it is comforting to have a predecessor, a mentor, to tell me this can be done. Again, thank you Philip Roth!
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January 2019
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