It ain't easy being here. I have found a way to make Art my own. So what? Enormous work is required to answer properly. Today's images are true. Truth has hit me. I feel confused because I am daunted by the work required to make my truth real. My acceptance of my responsibility has isolated me. I am afraid of isolation. This is about me alone with my loneliness. I see differently. I am the only one who can make my images. I am by myself. This is scary.
In reminiscence, I believe I have too long been afraid of the unfamiliar. This xenophobia has held me back, it has not allowed me to fully embrace my weird, unusual manner of seeing the world. I hope this painting, "Compunction", is a full break from my past, one in which I embrace my fondness for humor in the face of fear and limitations, both personal and societal. I embrace all my visitors, in dreams and in person. I have finally become xenial because I am xenial by nature.
“We will never compromise our principles... [we] will always put... benevolence over bigotry, the Constitution over the cult, democracy over demagogues, economic opportunity over extremism, freedom over fascism, governing over gaslighting, hopefulness over hatred, inclusion over isolation, justice over judicial overreach, knowledge over kangaroo courts, liberty over limitation, maturity over Mar-a-Lago, normalcy over negativity, opportunity over obstruction, people over politics, quality of life issues over QAnon, reason over racism, substance over slander, triumph over tyranny, understanding over ugliness, voting rights over voter suppression, working families over the well-connected, xenial over xenophobia, ‘yes, we can’ over ‘you can’t do it,’ and zealous representation over zero-sum confrontation. We will always do the right thing by the American people.” -Hakeem Jeffries
What does it mean to be profound? I am looking. Feels like I am getting there. I am not intellectually convinced. I do think well of these two drawings, more as experiments toward profundity, than full realizations thereof.
I am insecure with the drawing I made yesterday, not with the painting "Reclamation" (now in its 15th state). The painting proves I can do this. The drawing proves I am not convincingly, consistently, hitting the note that sings, "This is right and good!"
This nut is not easy to crack open. The journey may be long, but its rewards are increasing, step by step. "Reclamation" is about me finding my roots. Why, if they are my roots, are they difficult to uncover?
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