I really don't like the drawing I made yesterday, but I feel the changes to the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 are successful. The painting has moved in the right direction. As difficult as all these slow but steady alterations have been for me, they are educating me beyond intellectual measure. Yesterday's process, in altering the man's head (in the left panel), was more important than its outcome. Meaning, he isn't finished, but he is closer to completion because he has been felt more deeply. He has been felt as part of the entire painting. Today I will fix his chin, which appears here to be slumped and rounded, then move on to the girls and to finishing both canvases. The play of color and light in the left panel is now splendid.
A note about process:
Yesterday I approached solving the man's head as part of everything. I abandoned myself completely to feeling my way through his form, color, and position. I did this by sympathizing with his particular need for expression. This has often occurred in my drawing (that's why I enjoy drawing so very much), but this experience has not happened as easily in my painting. Yesterday I willed it to happen in my painting. I believe this has changed my life as a painter. I used my recent drawings to creep up to this ability to sympathize in everything I do. I watched myself draw. When I successfully found images that made expressive sense to me I took mental notes on process. I now know where I should be when painting or drawing. Because of my acceptance of this need to sympathize while in process, my painting, going forward, will be different. I will insist upon a process that makes expressive sense.
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