Yesterday I wrote of my discomfort, said I was bored. It is more complicated. I realized my work had dead ended. It no longer was about one person's face or the interaction between two people. It has evolved and must move into researching the complexity of our place in this universe.
Today I destroyed about 20 paintings, they did not look correct to me. In each case I had not found a meaningful solution. Destruction cleaned out the dead ends. A dead end for me is not useless. Each of these paintings told me where I do not want to go ever again. Each helped me clarify what it is I want to do. What I do, what I paint, is what interests me. For a while I needed to make imaginary portraits and many drawings and many paintings with two people. Today's demolition leaves me with lucidity.
I made one drawing today, unlike drawings posted here in this short lived blog. Today's drawing was unlike the drawings you have seen here because it told a larger story. It had people and fish and trees and sky and water. Perhaps I can photograph it tomorrow morning so you can understand.
I look back at the postings of the paintings and drawings I have here and I feel a little uneasy: I am revealing some success but mostly my failures. However, I am like Thomas Edison. I believe a successful light bulb is proceeded by several hundred failures which were made to enlighten the inventor in how NOT to make a light bulb.
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