Yesterday started simple enough. The first drawing is a small one, 12 X 9 inches, of high quality, but nothing that break downs a wall. Merely practice. This past week my in-studio time has been sporadic. I don't feel completely in control of my ideas. I continue to avoid paint, but it will return soon, possibly today. Drawing #2 is very good too, and larger at 14 X 11 inches. The second drawing is similar to the first drawing in its simple gathering of previously discovered knowledge. It is in drawing #3 (20 X 16 inches) that I find new conditions. The qualities of the surface and light are different. I do not, however, find this drawing appealing. It looks like a first stab to me; the kind, I imagine, one puts out at the beginning of a knife fight to test one's opponent. These rehearsal stabs are me training myself for a return to painting. I am beginning to be convinced I do not require substantial subject matter to produce significantly expressive paintings. This is a major transformation in theory, previously expressed by everyone from Mark Rothko to Willem de Kooning. I am a late bloomer, unlike our astronomical spring, which has turned exuberant already! My recent drawings have been me braking down all I know so I may break-up my knowledge, toss out the useless ideas, and move forward to better express myself.
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