This quest is a burden. To find the image that is as good as it gets is impossible. I keep trying. Constantly I ask myself, "Is it worth it?" After the work I mostly answer "Yes." The affirmative never comes easy, nor immediately. A certain amount of giving in, giving up, is necessary. Perfect success is impossible. The only success possible is making the image better than it was before. This seeking perfection certainly slows my life down. It also brings nervousness. Obsession is not trouble-free. It is conflict. It is disquiet that is anxiety and apprehension. Yesterday I returned to the painting 2017 No.11. It is better. It is not perfect. It will never be perfect. I do see it as better. It needs more. I accept the work that is necessary. That will happen today.
Here is a bit of success: I have moved on from the painting 2017 No.12. I assure myself that 2017 No.13 will begin soon.
Yesterday's drawings are interesting. No pattern, just writhing forms juxtaposed against solid, easily recognizable geometric forms. For fun I reproduce three images that somehow influenced yesterday's work (e.g, the sphere in Albrecht Durer's Melancholia was on my mind when I was working on 2017 No.11).
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