Reluctance nearly over...
The major drawing I completed yesterday (shown above) is more complicated, and more rich in content, than any drawing I have done in the past year. All other recent drawings look like rehearsals compared to this one. It is in the largest format I am currently using, 16 X 20 inches. It is probably a 10+ hour drawing (you can see earlier versions of it in the posts of 03/16/2012 and 03/14/2012). This is another of my graduation parties. What am I graduating to? Well, as the regular reader of this blog knows, lately I have been reluctant to paint. No more. In fact, today I will begin to stretch a canvas a day until I have several blank canvases sitting in the studio. The considerable size of a canvas is daunting, especially the large canvases on which I work. I want canvases to be as accessible as blank paper, and no more valued than a piece of paper. My reluctance has been due to my fear of failure. Not failure in being able to draw, but failure because I have been unable to sustain consistent, and substantial, invention of content. I have been disappointed with my imagery. I have given too much importance to imagery, and not enough to uncomplicated and straightforward process. I am, first and foremost, a simple painter, who just wants to make expressive marks on the canvas. I feel I have failed. So I went back to drawing to work it out, to strip away the distractive and false quests I has set for myself. Where do these come from, these fabricated quests? Too much education can muddle one's mind. I know too much of my own history, and that of western art. Enough resentment; I will begin to paint anew.
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