Here I am trying to stay focussed despite an annoying doctor's visit tomorrow. A minor procedure. Still I am thrown off and feel a bit disconnected. I once read Pablo Picasso refused to see a doctor. The inward examination that is making art throws fear into anything which may compromise the activity. In this case there is nothing so serious to alter anything more than a day of my time. I am like the person who always thinks someone is watching them. It is a kind of craziness. An egocentric craziness. Is that not the same requirement as making art?
Of course this all feeds into the problems I am having in the studio. My transition to finding ultimate profundity continues. Yesterday's alteration of the painting "2016 No.6" is a search for depth. The problem I have given myself is compounded by my need to find emotionally instructive forms. Invention is necessary. I am looking by forcing disinformation. I am trying to mislead myself in order to discover validity. I am looking to see something worth hanging onto within the confusion I put in front of me. Not easy in many ways, since a trained hand and eye finds it difficult to create confusion. This woe is a result of good education!
Yesterday's drawing is the opposite of confusion. It is me finding solace in simple forms and a straight forward composition.
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