After three days of concerted effort, towards awaking myself back to full consciousness, through drawing after drawing, I believe I am very close. Yesterday started with a stilted, rather mundane drawing. When that was over, I forced myself to greater wakefulness. I mentally slapped myself, demanding I seek bottom ground: "What the hell do I want out of a drawing?" The answer is personal reality. The demand for transcendent inquiry. This helped. I awaken a bit more. The second drawing was very much better; it is one of my best. Few drawings enter my pantheon of excellence. I believe yesterday's drawing #2 is one of them. And then came drawing #3. It is good, very good, but I am not prepared to throw it into the pantheon of drawings. I know the dictionary definition of pantheon reserves the word for people, but it works well here, since I have made, perhaps, 100,000 drawings, and only a handful are good enough to esteem (about 20).
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