I'm tired. It's late in the day. Today I taught a class about Pieter Bruegel the Elder. By the time I returned home, and had reoriented myself, I had not the time, nor the energy, to go to the studio. So here I am, looking forward to tomorrow.
I'll leave you with a reproduction of one of my favorite Bruegel paintings, The Fall of Icarus.
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Yesterday a lot happened with the painting Untitled Triptych-08·13·2014. Today is the day after a day which included important changes. My soul and body are calling for an easy day, one filled more with dreaming, and experiencing the sunshine, than doing. That is, I need a day of slow comprehension. I need my intuition to catch up with all this living and doing.
Morton Sachs, one of my many drawing teachers, said an excellent drawing appears to radiate its own light. Immediately I understood this, but it took many, many practice drawings prior to my achieving it. So, when I reproduce my work I wish to achieve the same apparent glow of light that the real things radiate. You would think this would be easy on a computer screen, since the screen itself radiates light. Alas, no. On a real drawing, light appears to radiate because of the subtle play of values on the artifice that are drawn forms. Even though you can feel the light in the drawings reproduced here, I lament the loss which occurs. They do not twinkle in the way I work so hard to make them twinkle. For some reason, paintings work a bit differently; they better radiate their natural glow.
I did not visit the studio today. I needed a day off. In yesterday's post I was mistaken about my position in my energy cycle. However, yesterday I did take one more step toward completion of Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. It is so very close. The changes you will see from here onward will be subtle at best. Tomorrow I will deal with the upper backgrounds, left and right. The left panel's upper background feels a bit stale to me, so revisiting it will reassure me I have found a valid solution. Everyday in the studio surprises. After the listless drawings I made two days ago (posted here yesterday), I did not know what to expect. Yesterday's studio session began with a relatively introspective, typical, predictable, slowly-made drawing. Drawing number was a quick reaction to the slowness of the first. I had come out fighting. That second drawing fiercely fell out of me. Number three drawing appeared in a manner in-between the process of the previous two. I show the three drawings in order of my current opinion of their quality and importance, best to worst (not in order of their creation).
Looking more broadly at the use of my time, I realize that I cannot defeat the cycle. I go through energetic, extremely creative days, followed by a couple days of dullness, then I return again, fully awake and alive with reasons to create anew. Yesterday was the transition day in the cycle. I believe I am back to full mindfulness today. I fully intend to return to the painting. It is difficult for me to go through the ups and downs of internal, physical, intellectual, and consequently, creative energy. The last few days feel creatively low. But, who am I to judge? I am just the guy making the stuff. In any case, right now I feel today will be the day I return to full creativeness. Yesterday was a typical day of energy seeping back in, a day of returning to the way I prefer to feel. Yesterday's middle drawing is the best, so I show it first. My interest in surface it apparent in drawings #2 and #3. These exhibit my great interest in the emotional subtlety that minor forms emote within the overall form of the human face. Knowing this, I looked back at the works of Lucian Freud, which is a relevant comparison (see an image of a work by Lucian Freud after my work).
I know what I am doing, though it may not be obvious to you. My creative and physical energy ebbs and flows as response to the degree to which it was recently used. Last week was important in terms of the painting, Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. More importantly, it clarified my intent. I am much more clear on the art I must make. I stripped away a few more of my delusions. That effort drained my reserves of energy.
Thus far this week's art-making has been slow. However, after last week's efforts I feel I have the knowledge, and ability, to successfully complete Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. I also feel I know the next step I must take. This is very good. The problem I have with my current reality, i.e. the need to store up energy, is my distaste for waiting for my sharpness, intensity, and focus to come back. I prefer constancy. From experience I know the wait will not be long. That is reassuring. Yesterday's drawings are practice, studies for my next major work, a triptych of paintings. Yesterday the activity of art-making did not come easy. I struggled through one drawing (which I do not like). Then I planned the next painting, which will be a triptych. Planning the soon-to-come triptych included determination of the sizes and shapes of the canvases. Next step is to stretch the canvases. This should take a week. That gives me time to finish the present paintings, Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014, which yesterday revealed to me another necessary alteration. The head of the reclining nude is too large. I hope to tackle that problem today. Well, I don't have much to say today because yesterday was one filled mostly with rest and recovery, rather than art activity.
At last I can say that the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 is in its latter stages of completion. I was not sure of this until yesterday's revisions. In addition, my viewing the painting here, in reproduction, helps me see the truth. The reproduction reduces the 10 foot wide painting to about 6 inches wide on my computer screen. The composition is much easier to comprehend in this miniature version. So, all the recent revisions of the man on the left were in response to his not being an authentic version of himself. I did not know "the right version" I was looking for, but I certainly recognized when he wasn't right. Of course he, and the entire painting, are not finished. But yesterday's changes were definitive moves toward correctness.
Yesterday's drawing is another seated man in the many recent drawings of seated me. This one is more traditional than most. It was done after I painted on Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. My mind was in an uproar. I could not stop myself from working. This drawing came quickly, then I left the studio exhausted. The physical and mental demands in working to find an important solution to Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 require me to step away from the studio for a couple of days. My head is literally buzzing, which is always a good indication I have reached deeply into my nervous system and that I need to step away and let it calm itself. Yesterday marked 1 month since I began the triptych Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. In that month 15 changes occurred, 15 states were made. It is still not complete. It is not fully correct. The man in the left panel continues to be problematical. He looks like he is living in fear, and that is not right. His lean to the left is right. That lean animates, and aids, the compositional resolution of his panel, and the entire diptych. So the lean will stay, but he has got to change demeanor. Also, his feet are a bit too large. I believe all of him must be within the bounds of his canvas, so diminishing his feet, and his legs, is important. I am not sure these alterations will happen today. The last couple days in the studio were demanding. My energy feels a bit zapped out. However, I am in conflict. Despite my lack of true energy, I want to get this painting right. I do have ideas on how to resolve the current problems in Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. From experience, if I push myself, despite my lack of energy, I often miss the mark, so I hesitate to work on this painting today.
Yesterday's drawing was one more study of a sitting man. This came after my work on Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. I probably made the man in this drawing appear comfortable as reaction to the emotional demeanor of the man on the left in the painting. This is important information. The painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014 took a turn toward "rightness" with yesterday's changes to the man in the left panel. However, looking at the entire diptych, the man in the right panel needs revision. His stature (or lack of it) is important to the meaning of the painting, both compositionally and emotionally. After the corrections to the man in the left panel, the head of the man in the right panel appears too large. The work demanded by this complex painting is incredibly absorbing and demanding. I am not tired yet. I am dedicated to finishing this painting properly. Somehow I know this painting is a turning point in the acquisition of the knowledge I require to express myself.
Yesterday's drawing is one more study for the man in the left panel of the painting Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. Take it for what it is, but once again I have to tell you that the reproductions that appear here pale compared to the actual works. There is no way the subtle play of the pencil lines, and their value contrasts, can be reproduced properly. Even more difficult to reproduce is the complex color values and hues in a painting, especially one as large as Untitled Diptych-04·15·2014. Don't worry, I will give you some lead time before these works are shown in exhibition. |
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April 2024
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